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Reviews
Tetris (2023)
Don't think too much...
This movie was surprisingly entertaining for me. I figured that it would be one of those drab movies that didn't get enough traction to hook me into watching it...but I was wrong in that regard.
Now, it is a movie? Yes. Are several segments embellished and glorified in an attempt to be entertaining? Also yes (I mean, come on, it's a movie.). That is what I took it as, entertainment and that is where you shouldn't think too much into it. It might also lead you into looking into the real story.
It is not a documentary and shouldn't be taken as such. Matter of fact, a short YouTube documentary was what led me into giving this movie a chance.
Watch the movie, take it as entertainment, and move on to the next one.
MH370: The Plane That Disappeared (2023)
Leave it to journalists...
I really like documentaries and especially ones that cover unsolved mysteries. However, this particular one is held together with nothing but hopes and dreams (or more befittingly, held together with fantasies and obtuse theories).
Between the "journalist" and some of the other personnel that were part of this, the outlandish statements that are thrown out are no better than the outlandish statements that were published in the media at the time when this originally occurred. It is nothing more than grasping at straws in the hope that something will magically come to fruition. It was the Malaysian government, it was the pilot, it was the Russians, the Americans know everything, the satellite people are involved, the Australians participated in a cover up, spies are involved and everything else in between.
Is it worth a watch? For some people, yes...however, it is certainly not for anyone that is gullible enough to just believe anything that is put in front of them.
MacGruber (2010)
Dumpster Fire
By and far one of the stupidest things that I've ever had the misfortune of watching. I'm not even sure how people have been able to finish this dumpster fire of nonsense. An SNL skit is one thing, but this certainly isn't the golden years of SNL and this one should have been left in the recycling bin.
It's pretty sad when you make a spoof movie and it's main character so annoying that you want to light the disc on fire rather than finish it. Even sadder yet is that someone actually gave them $10 million to make this mess. 91 minutes of time that I'll never get back.
The only upside to this movie is that Val Kilmer wasn't sick yet and still had his voice.
Relentless (2020)
Not a wrestling fan but...
Look, I've never really been a fan of wrestling; I use to watch it when I was little with my father, but quickly grew out of it. If it wasn't for stumbling across a youtube clip of Joe Rogan and Jake talking about his addiction and DDP, I would have probably never have listened to the podcast with DDP, that lead to this film.
While part of this film reads like an infomercial, I also understand why it does. It may be centered around trying to get a product line off of the ground and running, but the rest of the story and information that is covered in Relentless is actually pretty entertaining.
As a person who enjoys a good documentary, I would suggest this and the Resurrection of Jake the Snake.
The Resurrection of Jake the Snake (2015)
Not bad (*from a non wrestling fan)
Look, I've never really been a fan of wrestling; I use to watch it when I was little with my father, but quickly grew out of it. If it wasn't for stumbling across a youtube clip of Joe Rogan and Jake talking about his addiction and this film, I would have probably never have known of it's existence, let alone watch it.
With that being said, I am actually really glad that I gave it a shot. To be honest, I wasn't even sure of what I was getting into 100%. I expected a lot of wrestling backstory and filler, but instead I was left with a window into a broken man's soul and how he decided to cope with it and the process to get out of that rut.
As someone that dislikes wrestling, I still think that this is a film that should be watched. Even to this day (I watched this a month or so ago), I still hope that Jake is doing well and isn't going down the same traveled road.
Uncharted (2022)
Certainly not the best, but not exactly the worst either.
In regards to another video game meets the big screen, it's certainly not as bad as Hitman or Max Payne. While it's a bit entertaining it could have been much better if it stayed truer to the source material.
This is literally just another cookie cutter action/adventure film that Hollywood has churned out. Isn't the Uncharted video game series an action/adventure game, I hear you ask? Yes, it certainly is...but with the games, you at least get roped into the characters and a bit of a bond is created as you play. The movie on the other hand is quite void of that bond. The lack of character depth puts you into a spot that a viewer shouldn't be in...uncaring about what may happen to them.
Speaking of characters, whoever decided that Mark Walberg and Tom Holland were the best fit for this film needs their head(s) examined. While their performance wasn't necessarily bad, it is way off mark when compared to the games.
If you are someone that wants another regurgitated action/adventure film, this might be something that you will like. However, if you want something with more depth, more action, more adventure and characters that you'll actually bond with, at least do yourself the favor of watching all four of the Uncharted 'cutscene movies' on Youtube.
And while you're on Youtube, look up "Uncharted - Live Action Fan Filt (2018) Nathan Fillion" and look at a better glimpse of how a video game to film adaptation should be made.
Music Box: Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage (2021)
I was expecting better/more out of this documentary.
I'm not exactly sure what the filmmakers were trying to do with this documentary (other than portray the dark side of the festival) but it's construction is haphazard at best.
To sum up the overall feel of it, it is similar to a film student project that spends more time jumping around from point to point rather than breaking up those points into segments and holding them to a "beginning, middle, and an end" model. The overall documentary may have been more enjoyable if it were not so disjointed.
It literally jumps from angst against MTV and teen pop music, to the N-word usage by white people during DMX's set (where the word is frequently used), to the hyper sexualization and sexual assaults/female trophies/breast exposure, to the lack of water/water access and gross conditions, to white impersonation of blacks in regards to the Nu Metal movement, back to feminism and into Columbine and back to the disgusting conditions all within the span of roughly 15-20 minutes. Yes, these items are all connected in some way, shape or form, and they tie into the overall story of what happened, but the manner in which it was presented is problematic.
I think that the overall idea of showing the dark side of the festival is/was important but they could have did a much, much better job in doing so.
The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)
Save yourself from the misery...
I normally don't bother writing reviews on movies, however, this train wreck of a "movie" has compelled me to voice my opinion.
For starters, these filmmakers decided to take a piece of history and spin it into this hot garbage where 'Sharon Tate' is having visions/premonitions of the 'Manson Family' attacks. Moreover, they do so in a manner that makes me wonder how anyone thought that it would actually be a good idea to green light the project. It doesn't bother me (per se) that they used the likeness of someone who was brutally murdered. But the fact that they did so in such an atrocious manner while spinning the story into nonsense that detracts from what actually happened does.
This type of storytelling is what I would expect from kids that drop out of film school, not those who "do this professionally" (and I use the term professionally in a very loose fashion).
The writing, acting and follow through is simply grotesque from start to finish. One can only hope that the production company has the good sense to delete all of their files related to this mess as well as have it removed from all streaming services.