Reviews

I love made-in-US-legal-dramas, that's a fact. Law and Order, CSI, even Crossing Jordan... I use to watch them while writing my criminal stories, it kinda makes me in the right mood. But this one ? Oh dear. And I can't say I didn't give it a try. I saw about a dozen episodes, but when the credits rolled, it was always the same thought going through my mind : "I should have watch something else." And then, one night, after two minutes of this show, I switched channels, making up my mind on a DVD instead.

The stories are quite decent, actually, but the main characters ? Come on ! Usually, in such dramas, defense lawyers are "les emmerdeurs" (roughly translate : "Pain in the a**"), but here, it's quite the opposite. I can't find even one of the prosecutors nice and friendly. Okay, that's not their job to be nice and friendly, but only with the criminal, alright ? Annabeth has "un je ne sais quoi", a little something which bores me a lot : to be frank, I'd like to shush her anytime she opens her mouth. And about Maureen, it's even worse. Two real big ice queens, both as warm as winter in the North Pole !

So, if you're a fan, good for you. But Bruckheimer's productions have way better shows than this one.

I went to see the movie on its release day (22nd November) at the Grand Rex theater on Paris, and I didn't regret it. Yep, I was quite surprised when I didn't see, at first, the famous... I can't find the word... When Bond walks in, on the target of a killer, does a little turn and shoots him... But then, it arrived just a few minutes later and wow ! What are the differences ? Less gadgets, OK, but you don't need a galore of it. A blond Bond ? Whatever. No Moneypenny ? Maybe in the next one. More violence ? Yeah, that's right, but after all, we're speaking about a spy, licensed to kill, not about the nanny in "The sound of music". No graphic violence in a action movie would be a mistake. So, good storyline (Ian Fleming's stories are always the best), pretty girls (Caterina makes me feel like a whistling wolf and I think that Eva Green, whose beauty is more delicate, is absolutely delicious, but maybe it's just chauvinistic as she's French like me), a bad guy quite interesting (such a frightening face : Le Chiffre seems as human as Michael Myers' mask) and a very good James Bond : tough, quite rude, who hurts himself a lot... More human, actually. All in all, it's not the best Bond movie (my personal choice : a tie between Goldfinger and Thunderball), but it's the best since Sean Connery. Et voilà.

In 1982, Serge Moati got a wonderful idea : he gives free-hands to Desproges on FR3 (3rd channel of French TV). In the meantime, Desproges is already busy, everyday at noon on France Inter FM - he plays a rather hard district attorney on "Tribunal des Flagrants Délires" - but every night, from 8.33 till 8.35, he's unemployed. So, he creates "The necessary minute of Mister Cyclopède" and Jean-Louis Fournier directs it. They like each other. They're insane the same way and they have a common passion : they both love neurasthenic cows and birds who can't fly. Pretty clear about their way to see things.

So, what is Cyclopède ? A kind of well-dressed know-it-all who gives advices when no one asks him anything. For example, "How to recognize Mona Lisa from Mono Liso ?", "How to silent an Andalusian", "Let's protect the widow against the orphan", "How to proceed an euthanasia on a kamikaze". That's right, the Andalusian with castanets is quite noisy. And when there's no war, the kamikaze is bored. But spending money of taxpayers with this kind of show... Cyclopède himself is stunned by this idea. And Desproges is happy. He wanted to divide France in two : the fools who like and the fools who don't. He won.

The fools who like show some dependency signs, and the most daring of them knock him on the belly calling him Pierrot. The fools who don't like start nervous breakdowns. The most desperate catch Desproges in the street, shake him while screaming : "What the hell does that mean ?". The cowards write to FR3 :"Sir, this minute is unbearable. And this Desproges guy, until when will he stops ?"

From 1982 to 1984, it was easy to avoid the show : it lasted only 90 seconds, just to time to tie your shoes. On the DVD, that's a little different. There are more than one hundred of Cyclopède's here. Do as you feel, that's simple. The indignant fools have just to read their TV set instructions : you push a button, it just stops. And the happy fools can stay, but they're asked to keep their mouth shut. Desproges hated when somebody knock him on his belly, calling him Pierrot. He hated boys or girls next door. Just look the way he treated The Little Prince or cheerleaders. And what about chihuahuas ? He put them on boiling water because he thought that was funny. "Chihuahua boiled is chihuahua spoiled." So if I was one of the happy fools, I would just shut up.

Marie-Ange Guillaume, badly translated by The Great Swan

Last note : Desproges keep his misogynistic habits. He was the one who said : "The more I know men, the more I love my male dog. The more I know women, the less I like my female dog..."

X-Mas 1930 : a 59 years-old man called Martinet goes to Doctor Galipeau for a complete check-up. The doc is sure that his patient will die in some months maybe a year, so he proposes to the old man and his own brother to begin a annuity contract : every year, the Galipeau's will give to the old-timer a sum of money (based on aluminum rates), and when Martinet will die, his house of Provence (in a small unknown town called St-Tropez) will be theirs... But after nine years, the whole family began to think that enough is enough, and they tried to end the existence of Martinet...

Simple but excellent plot : Michel Serrault ( only 44 at this time) gets 25 years older...and more, and he is absolutely perfect as the good naive old man, the family Galipeau is perfectly despicable, mainly the doctor, a great Michel Galabru. His lines are sooo good ! Every year, on X-Mas day, he has lunch with his family, and he talks a lot : Examples : In 1930 : "Galipeau will die within six months...trust me !" In 1932 : "Hitler? Who is Hitler? Nothing but a little house painter ! He will never succeed....trust me !"

Remember : that's a comedy ! So, you can watch it and enjoy ! TRUST ME !!!

For those who didn't know the criminal history of France : Emile Buisson, born in 1902, started his robbers' life during the 30's, with his older brother. He get married, but his wife and their child died while he was in jail. And after this tragedy, Buisson became a killer. From jailhouses to asylums, Buisson finally escaped in 1947. For three years, almost 20 people were murdered, coldly, brutally shot by Emile. All victims of robberies, or thieves suspected for betraying Buisson. He was the first one in France to be called "P.E.n°1". It's these three years which are counted in "Flic Story". The young inspector Borniche had a lot of work to do in order to arrest Buisson. And he succeeded in 1950. And that wasn't the end. For four years, every crime was studied, dissected. In 1954, Buisson was condemned to die. Twice. On the dawn of February 28th, 1956, in the Santé Prison, M.Obrecht, the executioner, released the guillotine's chopper on Buisson's neck.

But if Borniche hadn't wrote his book, nobody would even remember about Buisson. The book is really good. So is the movie. Trintignant is probably too cute to play Buisson, but he gives a real performance : a real dead cold assassin. You have to like Delon, of course, even if he is great as Borniche ! (I think he is unbearable !) A good police movie !