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Reviews
I Am Virgin (2010)
Not a Comedy, not a horror film, not even a porno
Disappointing really. This was more along the lines of a low rent soft core porn that was not very good.
The special effects consisted primarily of spreading wads of newspaper everywhere. That in of itself was funny as the film purports to take place 3 years after the event in Seattle and there is still crumpled newspaper everywhere.
The high point of the movie was the poor basset hound that was roped into the role of side kick. It is highly likely that animal cruelty laws were broken by making the poor animal suffer through all the bad acting, writing and general production failure. You could see it in his soulful eyes; "why oh why of all the people in the world did I end up with this nitwit as the last master on Earth".
Not even worth watching for the soft core porn.
From Paris with Love (2010)
No Story, No Plot, No problem
*****Here there Be Spoilers****** Wow. Where to begin? Summary of movie plot. John Travolta goes to Paris and kills lots of people to try to keep them from killing lots of other people. That is all there is to it.
Characters and acting are all one dimensional, cartoonish and amateurish. Travolta even pans himself from Pulp Fiction, which may have been the highlight of the movie.
Special effects and camera work were spectacular. It really is too bad there was no story to tell. That is the only reason I gave it two stars.
There were the typical special effect Hollywood physics that do not exist in the real world. Every time Travolta shot someone (which was very frequent) or killed them in some other gruesome way they fell down and died in place. When Travolta went repelling without gloves, safety seat, belt or anything I could not help but inwardly groan (there were a lot of these moments). There were various goofs, slips, time lags etc that usually fill these kinds of movies.
Despite killing dozens (hundreds?) of people and openly carrying a vase full of cocaine around for half the movie the inept police only show up one time. That is just in time for Travolta to allow them to blow themselves up all in the name of a greater cause, which apparently is to allow him to go around killing more people. Despite killing more people in the movie than are killed in all of Paris (France? Europe?) every year the police never look for him or find him. Amazing really no road blocks, no searching, nothing.
If you want to watch Travolta as a homicidal maniac that goes on a killing rampage killing nearly every other person in the movie than this is the movie for you. Why anyone would want to watch that confuses the hell out of me.
I Am (2010)
Not Bad, better than a lot of Hollywood Schlock
As some one who does not go to or belong to a church I was mostly watching this movie as a movie and not for some kind of message confirmation. That said the movie is OK. There are no special effects, CG, nudity, graphic violence, satanic rituals, gore or glorification of illegal drugs. So anyone wanting a regular studio movie is bound to be disappointed.
That said the acting, camera work, soundtrack and script are a step above a made for TV or two steps above a S2V production, surprisingly good really. I admit my expectations were exceedingly low so any show of promise was rewarding. Was the acting high quality? No. Was it good quality? Yes. Better than most movies coming out these days really. The same could go for most of the rest. The soundtrack while I think nearly all Christian Rock (not really familiar) was actually very good and the producers should be commended for that.
As some have noted the movie is packed full of clichés. Not quite American Pie III clichés but the movie is based on the Ten Commandments and they have been around for a while so this should not come as a surprise to anyone. The Morgan Freeman cliché character was over the top disappointing in that he was such a direct theft that were movie a hit I would wonder about infringements.
I did find it disappointing that many people would likely find the characters not genuine. I tend to agree to a point. Not because such people do not exist but because they are so rare. It is difficult to find people anywhere who decide to turn their lives around in a meaningful way and take large apparently sincere steps to go about it. Having so many in one film is badly overdone. The movie would likely have been much more believable had some of the characters had more likely outcomes in their story lines.
All in all middle of the road movie with a few good points.