Reviews

As someone who used to frequent ren faires, and worked at one for several years, I was hopeful this would cast ren faires in a good light. Sadly it begins by showcasing a sad, borderline crazy and sexually obsessed octogenarian trying to sell his business while simultaneously finding a romantic partner to have sex with who's 30-45 years old? The behind the back deal making by his underlings vying for on]wnershio of the Faire is almost as sad. I don't care how good this Faire is, I would never spend my money going to it. It is everything loathsome about America.

Cinematically it reeks of a high-school production from the 90's with poorly filmed scenes, poor quality sound, and no real sense of where it's going or what story it's trying to tell.

Apart from Matt Damon's less than stellar acting as a 14th century French night, which harkened back to Kevin Costner's portrayal of Robin Hood in Prince of Thieves, the way in which the story was presented was a hard slog to follow. The costuming wasn't bad, but those jousting helms... It's as if the writers and armorers were utterly clueless as to why people in the Middle Ages and before developed coats of arms and the associated livery. One was clearly wearing red, the other blue, yet for the actors' vanity (I presume) someone decided to throw hundred of years of martial knowledge and weapons and armor advancement out the window and create helms with half the face exposed, for jousting no less. I read somewhere that Damon/Affleck felt the "tin can" armor was too heavy and restrictive for the foot position of the duel that followed the unhorsing of each, yet merely a cursory internet search shows that armor of the late 14th century had not yet developed to such an advanced state as to reminder a man unhorsed to even rise from the ground. Setting aside my own experience wearing armor and fighting, and the time I've spent researching such things, I'm baffled as to why it's so behind the pale for writers and directors to do the least bit of research as to make such things in historical films at least marginally correct.

Mediocre storytelling and bad armoring aside the combat scenes were well choreographed and filmed, and while I can imagine this could be hard for some women to see the story of one's rape retold three times in violent scenes I fear the fight scenes and decent wardrobe and scenery weren't enough to rate this any better than a solid Meh+. Definitely not Damon's and Affleck's best work, though Jodie Comer drives home a stellar performance as the most aggrieved Marguerite de Carrouges. I feel she alone warrants 6-stars, the others should strive to do better, in my most humble of opinions...

Ok, thin plot line aside, and ignoring that this isn't nearly Liam Neeson's best work, there are plenty of glaring issues with one's suspension of disbelief. Now, I may not know a lot about trucking, and I know even less about trucking on ice roads, but I know this- you simply can't flip 2 semis, on ice, with no other equipment save for those same 2 semis. I also know once you've righted them, there's sure to be plenty of damage to the sides what was laid down upon, yet there we go truckin' along shortly afterward with nary a scratch in 'em and by golly the mirrors didn't even get broken. And sure, you can just hitch a winch to a truck and tug her right back into the ice, and if'n ya gotta a trailer half off a cliff, why just unhitch it and use that winch (didn't it get brown off trying to pull the red cab outta that ice a few scenes back?) and tug that trailer back onto the road, a road far too narrow for two trucks yet there they sit, side by side.

Sure did blast them miners out awful quick at the end too... My "Bull Run" meter was pegged the whole way through and I can hardly believe I stuck with it. Whomever thought this movie was good oughta have their head checked, I think they're suffering the same TBI as Gurdy. RIP to my good man Gurdy too, perhaps the best acting in the whole film and he dies right before the goal line? His death served no purpose whatsoever. Crying shame.