Reviews

This really is a stupid idea for a show: Vampires co-exist with people and are basically treated like minorities, complete with "racism" and congressional bills trying to give them equal rights. Has every idea for a show been exhausted? Is this all they could come up with? The acting in the show is pretty good, even if some of the accents are suspect (Anna Paquin does a horrible Louisiana accent), but the whole plot is just too weak to make a good show.

HBO has had a pretty good run with its shows, but its ventured into Cinemax-crap territory with this stinker. Stick to Californication or Weeds if you want quality television, let "True Blood" go the way of its vampires and die.

I've watched this show a couple times, and each time I thought the punchline was the show itself, not actually any of the jokes in the show. The show plays like a "MAD-TV" sketch that is a parody of bad sitcoms, but as you watch this further, you realize that what your watching is an actual sitcom meant to be funny on its own merits. Normally, humor of this level is on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel and for children, but I think this show is actually meant for adults and sober ones at that. This show reminds me of "Kenan & Kel" or another show meant for kids with cheesy jokes and lame humor that only children would laugh at. The only way you can tell something is supposed to be funny is when the laugh track plays, otherwise I wouldn't even know this was meant to be a comedy.

I haven't seen any of Tyler Perry's movies, but they've done well at the box office and have gotten pretty good reviews. Has he seen this show? Does he realize they're using his name to promote it? If you enjoy this show, have you ever watched a sitcom before? Those of you who say this is a well-written show, have you ever read anything beyond the "Dick & Jane" books? This show must be seen to be believed. I hesitate to even call it awful, because I haven't gotten to the point where I even comprehend what I've seen yet. If this show is for real, Tyler Perry needs to sit down in quiet room somewhere and contemplate his career and what he hopes to accomplish, because if this is the kind of work he is proud of, he needs to consider a career change.

Looking for quality acting, a seamless plot and thrilling plot twists? Then keep looking, because this ain't it. The acting is terrible, the plot is virtually nonexistent, and the closest thing you get to a plot twist is Nikki Fritz's attempts at remembering her lines. This movie has hot chicks, T&A, and a lot of everything in between. There's no real reason why anyone does what the do and by the end you forgot what the movie was about in the first place, but that's OK. A few too many butt shots of the guys for my tastes, but not too many to kill your rhythm. The way to enjoy movies like this is to fast-forward over all the plot garbage and get to the real reason you're watching this in the first place.

As far as a movie goes, it gets a 1. As far as a skin flick goes, it gets a 10. I give it the average, a 5.

This is a thorough, up-close look at KISS drummer Eric Carr and the person he was until his death of cancer at age 41. It begins with his childhood and how he got into drumming, the bands he played for until he got with KISS, his KISS audition, and his time with the band. It includes numerous interviews with his parents, friends, and musicians Carr played with. Conspicuous by their absence are the other members of KISS (Ace, Gene, and Paul) who, had they participated, would have given this documentary the extra amount of credibility to really put it over the top. Its also clear the filmmakers could not get the rights to the KISS music library as there is not a KISS song is heard throughout the entire program, concert footage is shown without the music. But this is not a documentary about KISS, its about Eric, and there are tons of family pictures and home videos that haven't been shown elsewhere. By the end, you get an excellent feel about what kind of person Eric was and how everyone who came in contact with him have nothing but praise for the person he was. You almost feel like you knew him yourself by the end.

A good effort, even if its pretty clear the filmmakers had limited resources at their disposal. If your an Eric Carr fan or even a KISS fan, this really is a must see.

This basically sums up this show: "An English guy, using a bad American accent, rips off Archie Bunker as he, along with his family, have conversations which consist of a series of bad punchlines from other sitcoms that didn't work, but they had to use them somewhere." This show is unbearably bad and stinks of every other generic sitcom that ever existed. There are no original ideas, no original plots or jokes, and why does Mark Addy use an American accent? It would be funnier (if not slightly more original) if he was an Englishman and they used that as an on-going gag, but that might actually differentiate it from every other cheeseball show. This show is so embarrassingly bad, you are shocked to see you're not watching Public Access or a college-TV show, but in fact are watching a major television network. The punchlines are all forced and the writing is awful. This show is for people who don't get "Seinfeld" or "The Simpsons" and need to be spoon-fed their comedy in order to get a joke. This show makes "Who's the Boss?" seem genius by comparison, even Tony Danza would think this show is lame. This is the show "Family Guy" is a parody of. Somebody has naked pictures of the President of CBS, that's the only way this thing could have gotten picked up.

OK, I know this is a low-budget movie with inexperienced actors. I was not expecting Steven Spielberg-quality and I wasn't expecting a script to rival Citizen Kane. Unfortunately, my expectations differed from the creators of this movie who seem to think they've made something resembling a watchable movie. I found it difficult to watch more than two minutes without skipping ahead to see if there was any reason for me to continue watching. The characters aren't interesting, the plot is nonexistent, and the dialogue is on-par with your average second-grade play. The scenes drag on to the point that you can take a bathroom break, come back, and you haven't missed anything. I'm not sure what parts of this movie make it a comedy because I couldn't tell the difference between the funny and serious parts. Half the time, I was waiting for the bad jazz music to start because this had to be a porno, but the sex parts never started. Thats the only thing that could have saved this movie.

I get the director is trying to popularize the Dogme film-making technique concept, but just because your going with a concept doesn't mean your making a film worth watching. So if your half drunk, the TV remote is broken, the channel is stuck on public access and this movie comes on, just close your eyes, plug your ears, and know it will all be over soon.

That having been said, Tim Vetscher's performance was outstanding. How the Academy passed him up for Oscar contention still mystifies me.

Why do I love this show? Is it the deep, complex story lines? Is it the award winning acting? Is it the fact that my IQ drops about 30 points after each episode? I don't know what it is, but there's something about this show that is completely mind-numbing. The only thing I can compare it to is the Home Shopping Network or maybe a dog show - you don't know why your watching, you don't know how this channel got on, but you've lost feeling from the neck up so you can't look away. I never found that many of the girls in it super attractive so that can't be it. I like the Australian accents but I don't think its that either. Maybe I'll go home and suck some Nitrous Oxide and that will put me in the proper frame of mind to think about it.

This might be the worst show of all time. Every time I go to England I'm forced to watch this pile of sludge and without failure I come away depressed and bewildered at what I've just seen every time. Killing off a main character on Christmas Day? I thought people watched TV to escape, not to be more depressed than when they turned it on. Who are you people that like this show? Are you the same people that like "Home and Away" for its deep plot lines or "Crinkly Bottom" for its witty humor and zany gags? This show is why some people should be prevented from owning a television. Its depressing enough to be in England with all the rain and bad food and poor dental care, do you really need television to make it worse? Go see a shrink and keep away from Constipation Street!

I absolutely love all the games on this anthology. I remember them all when I was just a little kid and to play them again on my Playstation is great. I'm really big into retro gaming and this is perfect for anyone who is. As if the games aren't good enough, there's features where you can play the games upside down or in a star field among others. My favorite is with the bad V-hold because thats how I remember playing most of these games. A definite must have for anyone who had or played with an Atari as a kid. There are about 30 games on the disk and it even includes Pitfall II which I think is the greatest game of all time.

I like Dana Carvey. I've always thought he was funny from SNL to his own show on ABC. I even liked his film "Clean Slate" and "The Road to Wellness" wasn't that bad. But this film is arguably the worst waste of talent, celluloid, energy, or any other resource for that matter that has ever been put on film. Not only is the film not funny, it is difficult to even sit through. Had the plot developed out in a more tongue-in-cheek manner, it probably could have worked, but there would have to be a plot first. The character names alone give a hint at just how bad this film is. How do films like this get a green light? Who really thought this would be a hit? This film is an exercise in how to end your career and leave little chance for it being resurrected.

An amazing documentary about a man (Dick Proenneke) who spent 30 years living in a tiny log cabin in the Alaskan wilderness. By the end, I felt a little envious of him. His lifestyle is so appealing in its simplicity, but because of my reliance on modern conveniences, I know I never could live like he did. I think a lot of people would feel this way after watching "Alone in the Wilderness". Dick Proenneke was an unusual person who was able to devote his life to nature and really understood what it meant to be one with it. The way he was able to befriend animals is almost like something out of a Disney movie. This is a must see for anyone who ever wanted to leave it all and put civilization behind him.

I highly recommend the companion book as well. I rarely read, and I couldn't put the book down.

How could a movie that features Halle Berry in a skimpy, tight, leather outfit be unwatchable? I don't know how, but the geniuses in Hollywood found a way. This movie is so bad, I was embarrassed that I was even watching it. I'm even embarrassed writing a review because you then know what I must have watched it. Halle Berry doesn't even become Catwoman until about 1/2 hour into the movie. Its not just bad, ITS SLOW TOO! Not worth a rent, not worth watching on cable, and not even worth stopping on when flipping through the channels. Stick to masterpieces like "Gigli" and "Caddyshack 2" because this is what "Catwoman" makes films like those look like.

Grade: F-

This 10 minute trailer-spoof is supposed to be a parody of Starsky and Hutch and unfortunately, its not funny at all. I'm a Christian but have a sense of humor when it comes to Christian satire even if it involves Jesus. This could have been really good if it had been done similar to "Ghandi 2" in Weird Al's "UHF", but it moves way too slow and the inclusion of big name actor's like Stoltz really takes away from it. When Jesus beats up a thug, you expect him to recite some Biblical passage but all he comes up with is "Where's your posse now?" When the thug says "F-you", Jesus calls his bluff and the the thug realizes Jesus knows all. Really lame! This could have been really funny, but it just isn't. The only remotely funny parts are when Jesus guns down some Hasidic Jews or when he autographs a Bible for a little kid, but they are played so slowly that the joke is old before the scene is even over.

Proof you need to get satire if your going to write comedy like this. D-

This was a very good b-movie. I think there was a plot, but I'm not sure. If your interested in plots, you shouldn't be watching b-movies anyway. The women are hot, the scenes are long, and it was exactly what I hoped for. The best thing about the "plot" was that it didn't get in the way of what I was there for.

Mia Zottoli looks better than just about any woman I've ever seen in a b-movie. The sex scenes are fake and thats obvious (you can tell), but most involve Mia on top moving around and she looks awesome. The best scene is when the guy has sex with her and, a few days later when he approaches her, she has no idea who he is. Good stuff if its on late at night on Skinimax.