Reviews

Another movie bringing the magick of the ancient times to today, unfortunately it does not meet up with the recent productions. This movie will provide you with entertainment if you do not want to think while watching a movie, in a coma, or otherwise catatonic. While this movie does have some messages throughout, and there are some funny moments, too, but none of these save the movie.

The cinematography was poorly done and while watching this movie I noticed scenes where the lighting showed absolutely nothing. This really needed work. The script seemed like it was written by someone with penis envy (sorry Rob Schneider) and those were some of the best lines.

I was completely disappointed by the acting in this movie. Though "Booger" (Matt Weinberg), Jessica Spencer's (Rachel McAdams) brother, was wonderful as her cross-dressing sibling and the only shinning star in this movie. As for Rob Schneider I realize that playing the part of a high school cheerleader is a tough act, but he does not pull it off at all. The rest of the cast is very much lacking, as well, showing little enthusiasm and they appear to have no direction whatsoever.

After switching bodies with a skanky male thief via ancient magickal earrings, Jessica finds herself unable to wear her clothes ~! *what WILL she DO?!* The race against time begins and Rob Schneider as "Jessica" must find a way to get her body back. This is where those pre-mentioned messages (however ambiguous) come through. This and the constant suggestions on where to hide your weed by Adam Sandler raise this movie, if only slightly. This film will either make you laugh a lot or make you wonder what was the point?

This movie gets 3 carrots.

If you want a thrilling and suspenseful movie with wonderfully delivered lines, great acting and a good plot DO NOT get this movie. There are not many movies out there that I have watched that would help me get to sleep. This is one of those movies. Okay, there are some lines that were delivered well. There are some shinning stars in this movie also, Katie Holmes (Dawsons Creek, Go) and Melanie Lynskey (Rose Red, Coyote Ugly, Detroit Rock City). Mind you there is so much that affects a movie. In this case it started with the writing of the screenplay and script. Then the directing was infected. You can tell from the very start that there wasn't much energy put into this movie. Does it not take a writer to put his heart and a creative mind into the writing of a good script? Well this movie falls short of the thriller that it is made out to be but it makes up for it in suspense. In fact that is all this movie has to offer. All you get is suspense. I tried to be interested in this movie but there was nothing to keep my interest. There was nothing put into the settings, they just looked for places out on the street to put their camera. The suspense dies out as you figure out that nothing is going to happen. Well something does happen right at the very end. Though it puts a twist to the storyline the idea is not exactly an original idea. Do yourself a favor and do not watch this movie, well unless you want to see Katie Holms in her underwear but I am sure there will be other movies where she will reveal herself.

This movie gets NO carrots. But since IMDb won't let me do that, I'll settle for 1 carrot.

Growing up I concentrated on study rather than cinematography. Watching this movie was part of my "catch-up". I have no idea what possessed these people to make this movie, let alone the actors wanting to star in it.

Maybe they just wanted a movie to their name so they would not be approached for another soap opera, so they just jump from 'B' grade movie to 'B' grade movie. Whatever their motivations I bet there was no drug testing for this movie. They spent two million dollars on this movie and for what!?

This movie was done eleven years after 'Star Wars' and there is no hint of the effects which completely changed how movies were made. This movie came out in the same year as 'The Big Picture', 'Red Dwarf', 'Cocktail', 'Die Hard' just to name a few so how in the world could they even conceive making this movie.

How this movie can be considered anything but horrid is beyond me. If someone handed me this movie I would buy a video camera just so I could tape over it.

This atrocity gets NO carrots! But since IMDb won't let me do that, I guess I'll settle for 1 carrot.

... and then straight away it ends. Did they not realize when they wrote this movie that if they strayed from the storyline at all it would flop?? Well I guess not. Lui Kang (Robin Shou) was a student at the Shaolin Temple, so why did they write it so that he left? They felt there was another movie needed to suggest that you cannot fight your destiny? Give me a break!

Straight away we see Lui Kang's brother, Chan Kang (Steven Ho), being killed by Shang Tsung (Hiroyuki Tagawa) at the Shaolin Temple. There is a definite problem with this. Did Lui Kang have a brother at all??. Where was Kung Lao during all this? Kung Lao is the last descendant of the one who fought in the first Mortal Kombat and won, his name sake. Did they study the history at all? The introduction to this movie would have been one hundred times better if they looked into the history of this game. It would have been so much better having Lui Kang as a devoted student of the Shaolin Temple and Shang Tsung carried into the temple on a pagoda and Goro behind him completely covered and hidden by a cloak.

Making a prequel to this would have blown away the majority of the fans of Mortal Kombat. It would have also brought in much more money. I have no idea what possessed the people who produced this movie to let it out in the condition that they did. It should have been left on the cutting room floor.

Okay. I have said enough about the storyline. But that is not where it stops going down hill. The settings looked completely fake and was sadly lacking in atmosphere. The settings look like painted cardboard plastered onto the structure pulled together to make the setting with no form what so ever. I expected the walls to cave in whenever there was a fight scene. When the camera zoomed out as they climbed up the staircase when they first arrived at Shang Tsung's Island, it looked like it belonged in "Krull". Now "Krull" isn't a bad movie, for what it was. But let's face it. MK was made 20 years later. Hence the comparison. The sets and scenery should have been 20 years to the better. Not 20 years behind. As for the atmosphere, it felt like a pirates' den rather than the island of a great sorcerer in another realm.

The fight scenes; where do I start? Robin Shou took part as one of the fight choreographers. Unfortunately this does not save the movie. There seems to be no natural flow in any of the fight scenes and how they repeatedly jump off the walls is over the top. Laughter passes my lips every now and then.

When I first saw this movie in the cinema I had high hopes, but the more I watched it the worse it became. Characters were left out, they mixed one and two and there was very little of the background stories for any of the characters. I do have a complement to give however. The casting was spot on. Robin Shou as Lui Kang, Hiroyuki Tagawa as Shang Tsung, Linden Ashby as Johnny Cage, Brigette Wilson as Sonya Blade and Christopher Lambert as Lord Rayden did an exemplary job at playing their part. They were believable and easy to follow with no complexity or hesitations. The dialogue was well written also, with both comical and storyline based scenes.

"A hand full of people on a leaky boat are going to save the world?", Brigette Wilson. "Exactly!", Christopher Lambert. A wonderfully delivered and written scene. Unfortunately there are times where the dialogue is melo-dramatic, mainly Shang Tsung's one liners. "It has begun." and "Your soul is mine!" although delivered well are too melo-dramatic and are two of only 3 or 4 lines which were taken from the game at all.

There were a lot of games made for this series. If they played their cards right they could have made several great movies all following the rich history and storyline created by the game makers, and brought in more money and provided a better level of entertainment. After all if they don't provide us with entertainment they don't get our money. I am very disappointed with this movie and I will not be viewing the third installment to this disaster.

This movie gets 1 carrot.