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Prometheus (I) (2012)
8/10
The equivalent of mixing " Alien" with "Avatar".
2 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
In all my life I have never seen something so awe-inspiring yet terrifying, Prometheus is that very thing I'm describing to you! Before watching this I had never seen the original "Alien" nor do I plan to. Instead I looked up. I studied it, dissected it, learnt it's inner most works to prepare me for what Prometheus has to deliver.

So does Ridely Scotts's long anticipated that's sorta prequel to Alien but isn't pay-off??? The answer it happens is yes. Not only does it deliver with incredible visuals and technology almost on-par with what James Cameron has made for his vision of the future, Prometheus provides a genuine sense of fear and tensity to itself especially mid-way with some pretty nasty alien attack and a Caserian scene that wouldn't be allowed on "One born every minute" even if it were re-cut multiple times, Quarintend , Disinfected and given a lollipop afterwards.

And Speaking of Re-cutting, I actually glad "Prometheus" wasn't butchered and forced to line a life of "12A" because any cuts would have severely water-down the force and and energy of the film and What Scott was trying to achieve. While the likes of "The Hunger Games" and "Hot fuzz" are excellent in their own violent rights, their Gashing is almost wussy-like compared to Promethues because Scott is crazy and brave enough goes to places of stomach that most wouldn't consider.

The Acting in the film was amazing and well thought out, the ones that stand out the most for me are Noomi Rapace's Liz Shaw and Michael Fassbender's David. I swear to god if Fassbender isn't nominated for the award for "Best Actor" at the BAFTAs along with Mark Ruffalo (The Hulk), critics will have me to deal with, He deserves a big fat golden face for him to take home.

In conclusion that the film has best cliff-hanger ending period. If you've watched "Alien" before it'll knock yer socks off.
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The Avengers (2012)
10/10
The Box-Office shall be Hulk-Smashed...
28 April 2012
GRAAAAH! Oh my god. The sheer power of this film, how it is able to pull of one big magic trick and somehow cram everything in without coming off as a bloated or lazy being that lives off a diet of eye-candy and Clichés. No. Absolutely No! The avengers takes the harder but more fulfilling route making it more of a god like the mighty Thor, and god that deserves attention and respect for all mankind.

I have personally seen this film twice and not once has it's quality withed with each viewing. It has genuine sense of epicness and suspense that almost makes you think everything will be all right in the end, Meance provided by Loki resonates perfectly, in fact in one of his scenes I felt my heart rate going up! literally. If you only know a bit about the film before seeing it, ;et me tell you he does things that you'd didn't expect which only adds to it all. The visual splendor is huge and with the acting coupled with it believable. The fight sequences can be narrowed down to three things: Tesserect theft, Hellicarrier attack and NY final showdown. It makes you stay on for the ride, it makes wish it could have gone on. Even my family found themselves in joyful hysterics at the end of it!
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10/10
Makes other aardman movies look like complete pants!
6 April 2012
In my eyes even the mighty "Wallace and Gromit" and all those Gothic stop-moes from Burton and what have you are just a single inch away from what "The Pirates" has been able to accomplish.

It's just an imaginative comic thrill-ride from start to finish. Obviously it won't be as thrilling as let say umm... a Marvel or Transformer film but still thrilling on a family level. What amazes me is the kind of boundaries that have been pushed since "Curse of the Were-Rabbit" not just in visuals but also in tone. The overall film contains mild swearing, a little more risqué elements than what W+G Would normally allow and a several wacky Historic Anachronisms which help the daft and buffoonish tone of the film move smoothly along the seven seas out to go try a plunder the box-office if it can get passed the healthy competition e.g. The deadly, all money consuming "Hunger Games" sea monster for example (I enjoyed that too).

Of course underneath all that tomfoolery and cut-throatiness a warm and eager heart beats underneath the beard providing us with the same care and emotional connection with the characters who by the way are one of the most well put together and recognisable of animated casts I've ever witnessed since "Kung fu Panda". Hugh Gant makes a terrific, bumbling Pirate Captain whose performance is held up high by the Portrayers of his crew (Particularly that of Martain Freeman and the rest of them) Even supporter Charles Darwin (David Tennet) gets his fair share of scenes. And I'll salute anyone who sneaks the Elephant man into an animated movie. Who says it's just for kids?! Not me!
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John Carter (2012)
8/10
Visually thrilling and well realised.
18 March 2012
John carter has got to be one of the visual spectacles of 2012, with much of it's combat scenes being reminiscent of Star Wars (a franchise that came long after the original "Barsoom" series was first published) However John Carter is a able to to such scenes in it's own unique way so that though they resemble what Lucas did later in the 70s, it creates creatures, Cultures and Airships that only the people of Mars could have dreamed off from hulking White Apes to an imaginative mash-up of Traditional bladed weaponry of the ancient past and Sci-fi technologies.

The film takes a while to get going (Such as the firsts scenes with Carter on earth) but once he gets to Mars I can assure you you will regret nothing because the Filmprovides us with a more fascinating mythos than Avatar's.

The plot is decent to an extent but is pushed along effortlessly by the amount of talent that's involved in the performances regardless of whenever it's a savage Thark or Taylor KItsch as He-man (I therefore look forward to seeing him in "Battleship" when it finally hits land) Did I mention that Edgar Rice Burroghs himself his more or less involved in the beginning and end of the story. I wont say any more for fear of spoilers but I will say it is all really interesting that he appears in the film himself even though the "The Raven" has done similar thing this year.
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The Muppets (2011)
10/10
One of the funniest films of the year!
17 February 2012
Warning: Spoilers
This film is quite literally a Joy to be hold. It shows what felt things are capable of, It's quality makes it worthy of being among those being entered into Next year's baftas. It has this timeless quality to it in that many of the things the Muppets do for entertainment never seem wear and tear at the felt seams over time, It's one of the advantages of being Hand-made and not hand-drawn.

It's Hard for any one to hate the antics of Kermit and pals, even the most cynical and fun-hating of people pone to getting annoyed will find themselves succumbing to awesome power of an Aforementioned frog's banjo and a bear's bad jokes that are constant targets for heckling. Even the sunny and colourful songs avoid entering sickly-sweet Saccherine town because in the Muppet franchise no age or demographic gets left behind.

The Muppets did what J.J Abrams did for Star Trek in that it took an age old franchise and pumped wholley good energy back into it ready in time for it to delight a new generation of HensonWorshipers with Gags, Clebraties and laughter galore!
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Chronicle (2012)
7/10
Shaky cam does Awesome tekinis that makes this worth the watch.
16 February 2012
Chronicles is sort of like the rouge super child of "Cloverfeild" and "Blair Whitch" in that it goes in a direction no other found footage film has gone before, In that it actually has a plot of some sort even though it is told in the same format as it's monster-mash father. One camera. Zero Music and Mold-breaking visuals.

In fact when I say Mold-breaking the visual effects in Chronicles go beyond the very word. "Splitting the very fabric of the universe" is what it should be used to describe the divine powers of this film and I don't mean the Telekenetic ones our 3 characters gain in the story, I mean that kind of CG (That's come a long way since Cloverfeild) that used to make said abilities come to life and seem so real to the point they make the Force in Star Wars look old-hat and dysfunctional (Not that the force is).

The film is Essentially a visualisation of the whole "With great power comes great responsibility" thing used my Spider-man in marvel in that it shows the three focuses of the picture initially messing around with their abilities in broad daylight before an accident convinces them to try take better care of them. It also shows the corruption of said powers depending on the users's Exsitance. Secpifically the film explores the creation of a supervillan in how they are eventually driven to use their powers for Greedy or down-right mental purposes based on how difficult their life was before which involve a lot of pain, wrecking stuff and causing general anarchy. If you watch the whole film you'll know which of the two out of the three characters sides with the either the Light and Dark side Respectively.

Although they don't technically have superhero/Supervillan names in the film cause they don't need to. I would have personally called the hero "Tellikit" and the Villain "Apexus". You'll know why I gave those characters those names if you watch the film. I wouldn't call it a masterpiece but never-the-less Chronicles offers a new, Exiting and Interesting take on a film in a strange yet popular genre that offers up hints of a sequel.
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Mongrels (2010–2011)
10/10
BBC 3... Bring.This.Show.Back.
18 January 2012
Mongrels is perhaps one of the funniest TV shows that I have seen in a long time. It's just big furry comedy ride of a lifetime from beginning to end. It also pushes the boundaries of comedy even further.The one who gets the notice would have to be the badly behaved and dirty-mouthed Vince with his constant spouting of the C word and territorial behaviour. The show also has this unique mixture of American and British humour which means any English speaker from different parts of the world can enjoy.

In Case your wondering why The summary is in big caps then I'll tell you why... the show has been AXED! Shocking I know, when I first saw the news that it been given the "big sleep" I felt lie half the comedy universe had collapsed in on itself. Why would BBC 3 cancel such a wonderful show like Mongrels?? I know it'll never be big as the Inbetweeners but still In my eyes it still had a way to go. BBC 3 should have given this show several more series! I was hoping it would go into series 4!

That's the problem with network at the moment, their constantly deleting shows like they'e lost the will to keep going. This was the same network that murdered Dr who confidental. Think about that avid Time lord fans!

Hopefully this review will get across to any Mongrels fans out their so that they may launch a campaign of outcry to force the BBC to bring this show back regardless of what they say about the ratings!

If Vince heard what they have done to the show he would have been like: "oh you cheeky little ****s." cue bloodshed in the BBC office.
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7/10
Funny though slightly Bankoked up.
15 January 2012
Essentially the overall film basically just follows the same format that the original had but this time the ever raunchy Chaos is erupting in Bangkok, Thiland with even more Crudness, Frontal-nudity and scenes that will either offend or amuse you. New additions to this crazy sequel include a Monkey who smokes and deals drugs for bananas, Lady-boys (eep), A cut off finger and Stu getting a tattoo Fused onto his skin! When you watch the film you quickly realise that this no ordinary Rehash. It's actually one that offers a lot more Adultness that even the likes of South Park or Family Guy could ever dream of.

Being much bigger, The Sequel tends to veer into much darker black-hole content and comedy than the first, But still retains the Madness and hi-cap Hiluarity that helped the original make a name for itself. This sequel will either overall feel like a demented scientific clone Of The first one or The original Upgraded into into something even bigger depending on how you feel. I reckon it will probably feel like both.
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The Hangover (2009)
10/10
Chaotic, stupid ,but very funny
14 January 2012
Nothing more then a deranged completely unashamed thrill ride of laughs, This film delights itself in mocking, teasing and outright twisting things that would normally be frowned upon if they were ever committed in real life.

Showing a fairly accurate portrayal of how things can get out of control in Vegas, The film follows the exploits of Phil, Stu and Alan. Three guys who one day go out on a stag-night to the city of sin itself before a wedding with Groom-to-be Doug who goes missing the following day next morning leading to the three trying to piece together the events of what exactly happened during that crazy last night in which they were all tipsy and out of their minds.

Characters swear like sailors, Propert is broken and smashed, Danger is made a complete laughing stock, all put together to form one anacarhic and funny comedies. I especially laughed at the "pretending to ***k a tiger scene. With the amount of raunchy jokes and a scene of full frontal male nudity, This is definitely not one for the kids or grandparents.
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10/10
The Greatest Christmas film of all time!
23 December 2011
This film is perhaps the best thing to have come out of Aardman since Wallace and Gromit. It might not be in the Legendray stop-motion category the duo are know for, 'Arthur Christmas's Computer Animation was just as well blending a well assembled cast British actors with A mixture of British and American humour effortlessly they virtually all demographics can enjoy without being offencive.

Best of all it Goes to places NO Christmas film has ever gone before. Not only does it contain an original Idea that does not involve Santa getting Amesia! (A child is missed which means our Titualar hero must put things right) Cue a crazy, MANIC and entertaining Slegih-trip that ranges from Lion attacks to Supposed Alien Invasion! And yes it also has a sentimental heart which is core to most Festive big-screen eye candy.

Arthur Christmas is film that ditches any Saccharine, syrupy junk that seems to plague some Christmas entertainment today and instead brings in something new, fresh, TIMELESS, cool and above all chaotic and jolly. And for that I'd like to bless the following groups with Christmas Cheer:

1. Jesus 2.Santa. 3. The guys and women at Aardman and Sony 4. Those that are less fortunate. 5. The leaders of the U.S and U.K 6. My family. 7. And most importantly this MOVIE!!

MERRY Christmas! (have a happy new year IMDb)
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Puss in Boots (2011)
9/10
Critics, don't make the cat angry!
21 December 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Dreamworks has practically mastered the majority of generes in this world. Shrek conquerd 'Fantasy', Megamind took over 'Superhero' and Kung Fu Panda went up to 'Martial Arts, said "Skadoosh!" and blasted it up into the heavens were the Box-office gods reside. Now Dreamworks has succefully charmed and beaten (sort of) the 'Spanish Western' with Puss in Boots which shows the life of the Zorro-esque cat before he was kicking it with a certain Green ogre and a Certain Talking Donkey.

In general the plot is a fun complete with a murderous outlawed married couple, The Origons of Puss and his rather tense relationship with egg-shelled mastermind and Childhood friend Humpty Dumpty, A plot to steal Golden eggs from a giant's castle, Magic Beans, A cat that says "ooooohhh..", Puss attempting to fix a broken reputation, and a showdown with (I'm not kidding) a GIANT freaking Goose named uh, Mother Goose/The great terror! It might not have that big of a climax, However Puss in Boots offers enough Spectacular Visuals, Voice-acting, Computer Animation and Humor to make this film a worthy addition to 2011's final line-up of films.
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Fred Claus (2007)
3/10
Unfuny festive folly.
20 December 2011
Fred Claus. Hmmm . Did Fred by any chance claw the comedy out of this movie? I say that because this film is perhaps the most humourless piece of dribble in the history of Christmas kind. It would cause the mince pies to go off, the Elfs at the north pole to go on strike and most of all Santa to go "Ho, Ho, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" a bit like Darth Vader having watch the this lump of coal flick that stars Vince Vaughn a man who I find difficult to find funny in comedy.

It's just that the film never tries to try anything funny And as a result were left sentimental moments sure but at the cost of the humour which goes to show that like Arnold Swazernegger, Vaughn here had to find about a bad Christmas film the HARD way.

We also have a plot line involving an evil Inspector played by Kevin Spacey which goes into an almost insulting plot-line that Christmas is treated like a cooperation that has to do well or get shut down. What the Holy Yuletide red nosed reindeer hell!? (no offence Rudolph). We also have another plot-thread that's established but immediately forgotten and Dismissed which Involves Vaughn's Character's girlfriend getting together with someone else.

The concept seems promising at first but Ultimately THIS sleigh ride comes crashing down.
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10/10
Better than the Movie in every way
28 November 2011
Ignore any negative reviews you come across, this show is dead good. In fact it seems to completely make up for the disappointment that was the Martian Campbell steered flick that had Ryan Reynolds donning the green suit and ring before eventually fighting a giant evil black bag of literally bones with a head that could be mistaken for radiating sick if not examined closely.

Unlike the Movie, This show is much better constructed. It's overall plot and premise isn't too heavily loyal to the original comics and while it does include a bunch of the old stuff from the source material, It also provides new elements and a different continuity and plot allowing it to attract old fans and bring in newer ones who are unfamiliar with Green Lantern.

The animation is simplistic yet slick and cool-looking with some great special effects that range from flying spacecraft to bright Green/Red Lantern constructs created from either Willpower or anger. The humour and drama of the sneak-peak which aired on Catoon Network is balanced out nicely. It is also the first part of a two-parter Which I will guarantee will leave you wanting to know more about some of the story threads introduced in that premiere.

So overall I'm asking you to give the show a chance even if you didn't like the recent Green Lantern movie (although I admit it wasn't that bad). Don't be put off by a bunch of the negative comments on this page. The Users who put those down probably had their expectations too high or they probably arn't into this sort of stuff. I'm into it. You probably will be too.
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Horrid Henry (2006–2021)
Good show for kids. Not much for adults. "Good! said Henry, I hate grown-ups!"
12 October 2011
No doubt this show has been faithful to the original books it's based on. It's also one of the few animated shows on Citv that's popular. Most other series on that network tend to be broadcast ed but get no attention what-so-ever. It's like there there to fill out Citv's time slot on the condition they get no popularity at all. Horrid henry is different. Probably cause It's based on a book and stuff. Heck it even got a Movie! This show's got a lot of stuff for kid's to enjoy, however there is lot of empty space there that could have been used to interest Adult viewers or viewers of my age (I'm 15). The shows cute and realistic and all however nowadays I yearn more for the surrealism of Regular Show, The Destructivness of Ed,Edd n Eddy and the politically- Incorectness of South Park.

It's a decent show for kids though and It used to be one of my childhood favourites!
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8/10
A new golden age in animation...
17 September 2011
This is it people. This is the one show in the history of mankind that despite being based of a toy-line for little girls has ultimately spawned an entire internet following that has stretched to the end of the earth composed entirely of comics, fan-fiction, remixes and there fact that most of it's followers are teen to adult males know as bronies.

Prior to wacthing this show I had a lot of mixed feelings about this show because I was uncertain on how it would affect my position as a male of the species. So I watched it and OM Freaking G WAS IT GOOD!!! This show has everything you could ever want! great colour, completely memorable characters and HIGH-larious facial expressions. But enough of that let's take a look at the plot shall we? Okay so the focus of this show is a Unicorn pony named Twilight Sparkle (getit it supposed to be like the sparkly vampires in Twilight (God I shudder at the memories..)She spends most of her sweet time in her library in Canterlot (the capital city of Equestria where the show takes place). Seeing her lack of social skills Equestria's ruler Princess Celestia sends her of to The community of Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship because that's what it says in the show's title 'Freindship is Magic) so she heads to Ponyville with her loyal, hard-working but comical assistant a baby dragon named Spike who's always with her no matter the scrapes he get's into.

As she makes friends in the place she tries to find out more about The Elements of Harmony a powerful kind of magic in order to stop the return of a malevolent Alicorn (Unicorn/Pegasis hybrid) who is to plunge Equestria into an entity of everlasting night and doom. I won't say anymore about the story you'll have to watch the first two episodes to find out. yup. You're gonna have to wacth this.

We then have her friends who are always with her in her many adventures ((All female by the way just so you know) First their's Applejack the western apple-harvester, Rainbow Dash the completely awesome tomboy and fastest pegasi in the land as well as long-time admirer of Equestria's personal aerobatic squadron 'The Wonderbolts', Fluttershy the cute one who would rather look after animals than engage in activities that involve noise, attention and danger. Rarity the fabulous one who's goal is to bring out a Ponie's inner beauty as long as they don't trail in dirt on the way in and Finally Pinkaminea Dianne Pie OR Pinkie Pie for short who is undeniably the most random, party obsessed and hyper-active pony you could ever meet (She is also the most famous character from the show.) So there you have it. The brief introduction to My Little Pony: Freindship is magic. Wacth it. Give it a go and can assure you it will latch onto your brain stem like a Centurian slug! (see star trek).
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8/10
look out Holiday makers... here come the bad boys and their even badder film!
18 August 2011
The inbetweeners. After three series and several years dominating Channel four's comedy line-up, it's only fair we say far-well with a whole feature-length adventure to the land of Sun, Booze, Birds ans well you get the idea.

The plot concerns Will, Simon, Jay and Neil as the kiss school goodbeye and in celebration of their newly found independence take a holiday to sunny old Greece.

The film in true Inbetweener's style is touching yet ludicrously offensive, vulgar, smutty and with Potty-mouth rating that'll break the parent group's backs! The film is insanely funny and comes with numerous clever puns (most of the to do with sex) as well as some slap-happy situations that most teens will likely go through. I've only seen two episodes of the series so this is a big thing to me. It may get watered down with a few of the romantic subplots but the end this wonderful film's content has it competing with Borat and South park:Bigger, Longer and Uncut for the title of world's most offensive comedy.
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The Looney Tunes Show (2011–2015)
6/10
Not as looney as hoped but still watchable.
15 August 2011
This show has been getting a lot of mixed reviews lately. Some love it for looking at the characters from a new perspective, others pan it for wrecking their childhood. I belong to the latter group as it happens because this quite a good show. The actions less wacky and more Sitcom-like because thats the direction Warner Bros. wanted to take I guess (It may be that the shock of faliure of their last Movie Looney Tunes: Back in Action rattled the studi exectives to the point that they redesinged the characters in deperation). but don't steer clear of this show just because of that, it might not be laugh-out-loud funny or slapstick but it's still funny. I'd say it was hit and miss funny.

I'd compare it's laid-back humor to Regular-Show. laid-back and witty humour to the kind that you see on another CN show Regular show. We have some great stories that are perfect for the modern day Looney Tunes and audience. Humor is sharp and slightly more mature than previous toons. And I've gotta say it's quite funny to see Daffy Duck try to look cool with over-the-top lies and stories and ultimately failing.

Bugs and Daffy haven't changed much of course although Daffy is shown to be more brain-dead than scheming in this incarnation. Still though show is good with half-solid humour, catchy songs from the Merrie Melodies section, and awesome Roadrunner and Wile.E.Cyote cartoons so I'm asking you stop being a maroon and give this show a go!
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Despicable Me (2010)
Steam rollin, whatever I see, uhhh huh... Despicaple Me!
13 August 2011
Despicable me falls into what I like to call the bad is the new good category in which villainy is the focus but ends up becoming good. only three films exist in this category This one, Igor and Megamind (with a fourth due in 2012 by Disney). Despicable is also the few other computer-animated films out their capable of taking on flagship studios like Dreamworks and Pixar. Don't think of Despicable Me as another lame family film because it's not, it's actually a good one. Kids will no doubt lap this one up as if it was melted chocolate and adults will find themselves entertained by this heart-warming,humorous and clever animation flick which borrows rather smartly from War bros. cartoons and other more higher-ranking studios as opposed to just ripping them off. Kids will obviously fall for the yellow minions in the film with Their cute looks, Irresponsible ways and bizarre native dialect. It also has some great voice talent from numerous A-list actors e.g Steve Carrel, Russel Brand and Jason Segal IF people were to look back at this film in say about 10 years time they will probably consider it the 5th best animated movie ever (Behind A Nightmare before Christmas, Shrek, South Park: Bigger,longer and uncut and of course Toy story umm.. what should I go for here Toy story 1, 2 or 3? I can't decided cause their such good films.
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Rio (2011)
The Ice team goes samba!!!
8 August 2011
Rio is possibly one of the best animated films I have seen in a long time! I first saw this in the spring of 2011 when me and mum went down to the cinema in Crawley. The film was done by the same people who spawned the equally brilliant Ice age movies which I have seen too. the film was directed by Carlos Saldanha who did Ice Age 2+3. A lot of people say Saldanha can't direct as well as Chris Wedge (who directed the original Ice Age film) due to 2+3 getting a more mixed word of mouth than the first one, but what I have seen from Rio is amazing which shows that Saldanha knows his Brazillian stuff if not his cold sub-temperature skills. Overall Rio was good. The animation was colourful and cheerful, the characters were fun to watch, the joke's were funny and the voice acting was well.. good. If you like feel-good family films mu friend then this is the movie for you!
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The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991–1996)
Low on verbal gags, but stupidly funny none the less.
8 August 2011
Ren and Stimpy is a show which apparently would set the stage for other gross, adult shows like Bevis and Butt-Head. The premise is that it focuses on the deranged, strange and mostly untamed exploits of Ren a crazed, lunatic Chihuahua with the donkey ears and his companion Stimpy a kind but half brain-dead, mucus picking, hairball-whiffing Manx feline and the other weird characters that inhabit their world e.g. Mr Horse, Muddy Mudskipper, Kolwaski, Circus Midgets. The show had a long and troubled history with it's broadcaster Nickelodion due to some of the content edging dangerously overboard into adult territory which is a shame because it is a really good show. Unlike other comedy shows R+S rarely used verbal jokes and resorted to more gross, visual gags and extreme close-ups but don't be put off by that. Because once you see their tales of Space Madness, Kity Litter, Rubber Nipples and Magic nose Goblins complete with limited continuity, you'll wish the train of Sickness would never end.
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