Reviews

30 years ago a group of explorers entered an immense cave system under a church in Romania. The church caved in and the explorers were trapped, never to be heard from again. Flash forward to present day, where a geological expedition comes across the mouth of the cave. They call in an experienced group of cavers to map the place out, but an underwater passage way collapses, sealing them over a mile underground with no hope of being rescued. They begin searching for a way out, only to come to the realization that they aren't alone; not only are there bizarre, undiscovered creatures, but also the group of explorers from three decades ago, who are no longer quite human I just got back from seeing this in a near-midnight show. There were a total of 9 other people in the theatre, not a good sign really, and combined with the almost exclusively rotten IMDb reviews I wondered if I'd made a mistake. Deciding not to waste my eight bucks and ride the film out, I actually enjoyed what this flick had to offer: A claustrophobic atmosphere, stunning photography, plenty of action, cool monsters and nifty special effects. This is the directional debut of Bruce Hunt, a former second-unit director on the Matrix films and 1998's "Dark City". While he handles some of the dialogue scenes awkwardly, he certainly knows how to make the film LOOK good. Man, this flick is GORGEOUS! Not only are the cave sets great (fantastic production values on this one) but their lit perfectly (and surprisingly realistically). Kudos to cinematographer Ross Emery for giving this flick the visual kick it needed. As for the actors, just about everyone here does well, especially Cole Hauser and Morris Chestnut. The only weak actor here is Piper Perabo. Sure, she's pretty, but she really, really needs to develop some ACTING skills. Then there are the creatures. We never get a lingering look at them, but they are COOL. I'm glad the creatures were mostly created with puppets and prosthetic instead of CG (what little CG there is was mostly limited to shots of the creatures flying), it was a wise move by the filmmakers. Effects artist Patrick Tatopoulos, who also handled the creatures in "Independence Day", "Pitch Black" and "Underworld", has done a great job as usual. Some people have called Tatopoulos the next Stan Winston, and based on the work he's done so far in his career, this very much might be true. Also worth noting is the score by Reinhold Heil and Johnny Klimek, which, though often low-key, is pulse-pounding and exciting and keeps the action flowing nicely. The ending is your typical twisted horror ending, but hey, it works anyways.

Is "The Cave" a masterpiece of modern film-making? No. Would it have been better if it had had an R rating and more gore? Most certainly. Still, this summer creature feature is more entertaining than I expected it to be, I came in praying I might get at least a LITTLE enjoyment out of it and in the end I got more than I expected to. Enjoy!

6.5/10.

"Feeders" opens with a lengthy prologue about how there ARE other intelligent life forms in the universe, then as the titles role, we watch a UFO, an impressive effects created on a 1985 Mackintosh, hover around anywoods, America. Then we meet the real stars of the film—the Feeders themselves, and let me tell you, these are some scary beasties. Standing a good one to two feet high (depending on the scene) with big heads, black eyes, tiny mouths and menacing faces. If you thought the title creatures in "Aliens" were scary, these creatures will have you sleeping with the lights on for the rest of you life! Don't be fooled by the fact that these creatures obviously have no teeth and tiny mouths, they are deadly, cannibalistic little buggers. In the following scene they eat a couple of richly developed throwaway characters (these scenes are EXTREMELY violent and unsettling, if you're squeamish I recommend fast-forwarding through them). Then we meet our heroes-- two guys on a road trip together. They stop in town for a few shots of the damage caused by a recent flood (the shots being obvious file footage straight off of the weather channel) and to hook up with two 40-something, overweight, super-hot babes. While driving to the park, they accidentally run over a man's foot, the poor guy babbling about seeing "little men". Upon bringing him to the local doctor's office, they lay him down on a table and the doctor pulls a towel over his torso, saying, "sorry, nothing I can do. He's pretty much dead." Our heroes offer to call the police but the creepy doctor says, "No, I'll call them later." So they leave the doctors office, neither feeling bad for killing a man nor having to deal with the authorities in any manner. They get to the park, only to discover—a blood-spattered human skull!!! Figuring that might be a bad sign and realizing it's getting dark (actually it doesn't look anywhere past noon but whatever), they decide to walk into town (the UFO's magnetic interference causes their car to cease functioning). Back at the doctors office, the cooky, spooky physician notices a rather large, computer-generated chunk of the dead man's body is missing, and upon investigating gets decapitated by one of the tiny, toothless alien terrors. Meanwhile, at the house of one of the obese, 40-something, super-hot babes, the said super-hot, 40-something babe, while preparing to hook up at the park with our heroes and the other super-hot babe, investigates a strange sound in her basement. Unfortunately for the poor woman, a feeder is waiting for her, jumps her, eats maybe three square inches of flesh from her stomach and kills her. Like the earlier death scenes, this is very violent and unsettling, viewer discretion is advised). Then the OTHER super-hot, 40-something, obese gal shows up at her house looking for her fat old friend, only to discover her gory, eviscerated corpse (well, a still photo of the corpse). SEVERAL feeders then ambush her, but she gets away by stomping the head of one until it resembles a pile of green macaroni and then frying the other feeder with a conveniently placed, fully-working flame-thrower. She then peels away in her car never to be seen again. Then we catch up with our heroes again, who, after an incredibly tense scene of suspense, investigate a house they find in the woods and determine it's safe. Well, it isn't safe, for not only are feeders getting in but also the UFO in which they've arrived is hovering above them. How will they escape this nightmare?

I'm not gonna spoil the rest for you, but let me tell you the plot twists that follow are BRILLIANT. The ending will leave you in thought and wonder days after you first view the film. EVERYTHING about this film is fantastic. The actors are compelling and realistic, full of intrigue and nuances (check out the scene with the two super-hot, obese, 40-something chicks talking on the phone for some exemplary performances), the musical score—which puts the work of "renowned" composers like Bernard Herrmann, John Williams and Jerry Goldsmith to shame—is haunting, ambient and atmospheric. I can't wait to get my hands on the CD! The editing is top-notch (flawless in fact), I love how the actors are always drowned out by the music or wind blowing into the microphone, what realism! The direction is excellent. The overall look of the film is unique and appropriate in building suspense. The special effects are easily the best ever put to the screen. The aliens were great, but the visual effects were simply unbelievable. I thought I was looking at a REAL UFO!!!

Buy this film today. It'll change your life, your perspective on the world and on the universe, you will become a grander, richer human being to your core. This film is truly, TRULY, the epoch of film-making.

A well-earned 10/10.

After a deadly virus escapes from a lab, a secret underground facility becomes a living hell as the staff is turned into undead zombies. To make matters worse, there are mutant creatures on the loose. Alice, a security operative for the subterranean lab, with the aid of a group of soldiers, enter the lab to see what happened—only to discover escape seems impossible. This film is understandably hated by many people for various reasons, some of which I agree with and some of which I don't. The biggest problem with the film is writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson. He clearly is capable of making a good and enjoyable film, which he proved with 1997's underrated Event Horizon. However, his direction here is unfortunately MTV-style in nature—that is, there are lots of slow-motion shots during the action sequences and even a bullet-time shot or two. I do, however, really like the general atmosphere he gives the film—the scene near the beginning of the film with Alice walking through the giant mansion is decidedly atmospheric and creepy. Unfortunately, the actors are all wooden, and most of the characters are easily recognizable as creature/zombie fodder from the second they enter the screen. While I really liked the main theme music for the film, the rock music employed for the action scenes is terrible and obnoxious as hell. While there are a couple of good bloody bits here and there, most of the gore is computer-generated and looks absolutely awful. On the topic of bad CG, the first stage of "The Licker", one of the mutant creatures, looks HORENDOUS!!! I'm talking sci-fi-channel-original-movie level CG. It must be seen to be believed! Fans of old-school horror will be happy to know that once the licker eats it's first victim it mutates into a predominantly animatronic creature, which looked great. I also really liked the ending (though, granted, it rips off John Carpenter's underrated 1995 flick In the Mouth of Madness pretty badly).

In conclusion, Resident Evil may be flawed and relatively brainless at times, but it's entertaining and way, way better than its terrible sequel.

4/10.