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Arogath_Oblivion
Reviews
RWBY (2012)
Fun, a bit lacking, and a lot of potential
I went into RWBY almost entirely blind as to what it was, and I've just finished the first season in a single sit-down. What initially caught my attention were two things, the fight scenes I'd found in some amv's, and the weapon Ruby uses. The fight scenes are incredible, at least the bigger ones (my unquestionable favorite was the group fight against the bird creature). They're fluid, creative, beautiful, and exciting. Unfortunately, that's the only time I could call the animation any of those things, but it's my understanding this show doesn't have the highest of budgets, so I can let that slide quite easily. Ruby's weapon is one of the coolest things I've seen in recent years in terms of weapon design, and the styles of each character in the show are usually just as visually pleasing to match. I'd love to see what this show could do with more money in the aesthetics alone.
My main problems with the show were the voice acting and the writing. The voice acting ranged from pretty good to terrible, while the writing, at times, felt a little too contrived and forcefully "anime-ish" in style. I understand the show is meant to take from that form of media, but a lot of the stereotypical tropes it tries to pull come off as out of place and uncomfortable, which may possibly become less of a problem with a better voice cast and quality of animation - maybe. Some characters are better than others. I absolutely hate Yang's character and actress, while I love Nora's, Jaune's, and - at times - Pyrrha's.
Yang as a character is boring and predictable, her lines are delivered dryly, too quickly, or just poorly in general. So poorly, in fact, there were times I had to stop the episode and go back a few seconds to understand what she'd said. Nora is genuinely funny, Jaune's lovable and is, even though he suffers from some of the previously mentioned overused anime tropes/clichés, maybe the the most human and relatable character on the show. His relationship with Pyrrha is fun and often cute to watch, and they have great chemistry together. There were moments from all characters that made me roll my eyes or wonder who thought it'd be a good idea to fit that embarrassing line into the script, but nothing that made me want to turn it off.
Conclusively, I found the show to be worth watching, not only for what it is right now, but for what it might be in the future. If you like exciting battles, cute girls, and creative ways to make those cute girls do exciting things, I recommend it. If you want incredible writing and peerless acting, look elsewhere or wait until the show improves - which I think and hope it will.
Have a Laugh: Blam! (2009)
no
I want you to consider for a moment that this is currently rated 5.7 as I write this. That means, in terms of how good this could possibly be considered, it is ALMOST 60% of perfection in the eyes of at least a hand full of people. This fact alone makes me wonder, are that many users truly retarded? Certainly, at least that many worthless human beings exist, but what caused them all to gather in one spot? what has happened? are people being hired to rate this? how did they operate a computer? I cannot accept that this holocaust-level atrocity has been rated so moderately. When you watch BLAM you will have one of two reactions. If you own a cup specifically assigned for excess drool, you will be entertained, and clap your fat little nubs together in excitement at the animated narrator and pretty colors. If you are above the age of 5 and possess a competent mind, you will reel in horror, curse the day you were born a human, and find both infinite hilarity and sadness in the fact that this is a real thing that actually exists and will always have existed from this point on. This colossal stain on humanity's record will never be removed. Millions of years from now, considering we live that long and still resemble the humans of today, aliens in spaceports and bars around the galaxy will still be mocking humans, jeering and laughing to each other because one of those "blam tools" just walked in. This is on you, Disney. This is on you, Blam narrator guy. There is such a thing as peace no more, there is only blam.
Wipeout (2008)
Abysmal with the hosts, passable without.
I remember MXC quite fondly because of its ability to compliment the difficult and often times surreal "challenges" with funny, witty, or equally surreal commentary in general. The show flowed really well, and although it was absolutely stupid television, it was stupid television that knew what it was and played off of that very effectively indeed. Wipeout, on the other hand, is much dumber television without any of the charm or self awareness its predecessor had. The show is similar in that there are contestants putting themselves through an assortment of challenges, and it's hosted by two human males, but its similarities stop there unfortunately.
If you're going to have a show with people talking constantly and without pause, you need to be sure those people are both entertaining, and have something relevant to say. The hosts on Wipeout have neither, and bombard the viewer with the most terrible of jokes that offer no benefit to the show whatsoever. They range from outright pathetic to mean to tasteless, which would be fine if they could be funny, but never have I heard a single thing from either of them that I felt needed to be said, or enhanced the experience in any way. I cannot stand hearing them talk, to the point that I NEED to mute the TV when it comes on, it isn't something I can tolerate even as background noise, as it does nothing but dampen my mood.
The one good thing I can say about this show is that they sometimes have interesting or funny contestants, such as Ariel Tweto, but this too highlights how worthless and talentless the hosts and Jill whatshername actually are. They're constantly overshadowed by the no-names that put themselves through that torture and, rather than playing off of their characters as MXC would do, they in most cases insult them or offer some obvious poorly written crack about the situation they're in.
This show is like a castrated, dull, tedious version of MXC, hosted by two Tom Bergeron-tier absolute existential failures. It's watchable if you mute it, but if you have a shred of human integrity, compassion, or a taste for humor outside of puns and douchebaggery, look very far away from here.
Space Buddies (2009)
funni, good value to watch for childes
very good veuri fun, love it when dog makes stinky frat noise very sad to, as little pappies loose out on home to go to space satin
full of many fun and moralities for parent to view their childes, go to watch this film for good enjoyment
sound - 9 of 10 - pope noise of the doges very loud and funni, striking sound tacks
video 10 of10 - clear blue rays, 1080pepps for very crystallite vi wing pleasures
characters 8 of 10 = many cut dogs, all very golden with heart and humus, fun to get along and love the little boy with which they travel
overalls - tight wavily together storey with many funni farts noise together with heart smother warmly, very a+
Zoink'd (2012)
Legally recognized as a form of torture in some countries
Concentrated decay of the soul. You do not watch Zoinked and emerge with your former self in tact, it takes something from you that can never be returned. Some would argue it's your innocence, or perhaps your ability to enjoy or even tolerate the existence of children. This, however, is only the tip of the iceberg within this barren sea of despair.
Zoinked is very bad. A very special, particularly infuriating kind of bad, that can eat away a man's will to exist as a maggot eats away at a corpse. Anything or anyone that uses the word "zany" in a non-ironic fashion is a cancer of the mind and must be destroyed. I find this to be an indisputable rule when dealing with television shows especially. Zoinked. Just saying the name causes the most foul and detestable of human emotions to well up within me. Disgust, terror, hatred, blood lust. The name is perfect in its own way, in that it perfectly represents the indescribably large amount of insult to the viewer's intelligence and dignity as a human being. I have never felt I wanted to physically harm a child or television host, but if there were a hot iron poker lying beside these people just waiting to be used, I would seriously consider employing its services. Many, many times, until the screams of the dying drown out the screams of my spirit, and all can be at peace from this suffering. All that stays my blade is the knowledge that these children are reading from a script, as no child that exists could be so obnoxious and that determined to bring about the collapse of society without the guiding hand of adults whose contempt for decency is dwarfed only by their desire for money. A terrible, evil script forged in the fires of mount doom and bathed in the tears of the innocent.
If you ever want to have children, or be able to remain in their presence without developing a strong primal urge to kill them, stray far from this sacrilege and protect your hearts from its piercing malevolent will, for it's far too late for me.
America's Funniest Home Videos (1989)
Justification for terrorists
Tom Bergeron is my least favorite person. If Tom Bergeron, Hitler, and Osama Bin Laden were in the same room and I had a gun with 2 bullets, I'd shoot Tom Bergeron twice. The man is paid to speak puns. Terrible puns that even the eldest of grandmothers would not dare speak to their grandchildren, either out of compassion or fear of the scorn and rejection they'd receive from their family. 1 out of every 100 videos featured on this television spectacle of garbage could be considered funny by the average person. The rest are filled with pain, misery, or non-events.
If you enjoy sitting down for an evening to watch a pathetic hack old man pander to the outdated idea of family humor by doing terrible voice-overs and repeating dry humorless punchlines to people getting hurt ad nauseam, then I implore you to find the nearest toilet and drown yourself in it.
There was probably a point in time where this show was relevant, maybe even good. Now it serves as an awful televised version of youtube, where you cannot choose what you watch, everything is terrible, and your stroke survivor grandpa is making commentary about everything that happens in a desperate attempt to be funny over your shoulder. I would like this to be cancelled, so the money can be used for better things, such as sewage management or the production of crossword puzzles.
That's So Weird! (2009)
No, sir, you shouldn't review a show you're show runner for
In a way, this show is great. By great, I mean it's great if you love watching that obnoxious fat kid in your school try their hardest to be funny and relevant by barraging anyone he can get to pay attention to him for more than five minutes with goofy noises and "random" jokes that lose their appeal as quickly as they started, only to be incredibly awkward, creating an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. Speaking of fat children nobody likes, there's always the over-protective and well-meaning mother behind him. The mother will say anything she can, think any way she can, to make her son and sometimes even herself believe that they're great, and special, and deserving of praise. As anyone who has a mother like this knows, though, the outside world will never see you as your mother does, and the truth is her worst enemy.
Numbers, awards, and ratings do not indicate quality, they indicate appeal and popularity, and the three are separate things entirely. The vast amount of stupid crap that has been put on a pedestal for one reason or another is endless, and no amount of viewers will change the quality of that which they're viewing. You will not find a shred of value in this show, it does nothing that would warrant repeating and it will be forgotten along with the other waves of watered down teen comedy shows. If you'd like to believe the person who cast these idiot children and gave it a 10 star review, pleading within for "other ways" to judge it over the outside observers, that's up to you, but it's no more valid than the loving mother ensuring her fat autistic hillbilly child that he's cool.