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slatif74
Reviews
Crawl (2019)
*This* is how you do a horror / creature feature!
Absolutely loved this film - an absolute gem that's easily up there with the original 'Tremors'. Yes there are goofs, plot holes and silly decisions made by the characters, but it just adds to the fun tbh and should be expected in these kind of movies.
The 2 main leads do a great job as the trapped father and daughter, and despite the aforementioned dumb choices etc, they keep us in suspense pretty much all the way once the action kicks off. The gators look great too, slinking about and launching out the water. There's also a few nice gorey/grisly bits thrown in too which is always nice.
Overall well worth a watch if you like stuff like Tremors, Arachnophobia,Anaconda etc.
D-Railed (2018)
Shill reviews
The first 3 reviews of this film give it 10/10, so something definitely stinks to high heaven. I'm the 4th reviewer and won't be giiving it a 10. Watch it and you'll see why!
The Poison Rose (2019)
So bad it's actually pretty good!
Bit of a weird one, this movie. It starts off almost as a pastiche of old B&W film noire movies; the narration from the hero/private eye, the setting, the goons after the hero, and the beautiful mysterious lady turning up at the private eye's office looking for help. It almost remonded me of Casa de mi Padre with Will Farrell or A Deadly Adoption, but everything is actually played straight, for real!
The movie ticks along pretty well, and it has a pretty decent cast, but it can get pretty predictable, and some bits are laugh out loud, although probably unintended.
Overall, worth a watch on a rainy sunday afternoon.
Emeryville (2016)
Oh dear...
Let me start by saying *please* do not watch this poor excuse for a movie. As clichéd as it sounds, you genuinely will want that hour and a half of your life back. I actually had to write a review for the first time just to warn others.
To say this film is bad, is an insult to bad; absolutely everything about this 'production' sucks to the nth degree. The story is a mish-mash of utter nonsense. The acting is actually worse than anything that's come from the Asylum guys, and that's some mean feat. And then there's the camera work - it looks like it was filmed by a blind one armed man on a poor quality JVC camera from the 80's. No concept of framing, and on more than one occasion, foreground scenery completely obscures the actor that's talking.
I think the continuity guy must have been hungover during the night scene in the cabin, as the curtains appeared to be letting in daylight. Foley work is just as bad, with outright strange noises used for everyday things. Like, WTF???
About half way in, I thought this might be so bad that it's good, but that feeling passed. Very quickly. The annoying this is, the premise is really good, but unfortunately the execution is dire.
Please, please for the sake of all that is good and holy, keep away from this. It literally is cinematic diarrhoea.