Change Your Image
bighand99-1
Reviews
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Exercise in Self-Indulgence
All I have to say is WOW, what a big let down. After loving the first Kill Bill, i went into this with high hopes. Knowing it couldn't have been better that Vol. 1, i wasn't expecting the best. But i had no idea it could be this bad. The film, although not exactly horrible, is by far the worst Tarantino movie i have ever seen. The dialogue, pacing, and acting all work together to solidify this movie has one of the biggest letdowns in film history (far behind the matrix revolutions, of course). This movie seems like pure self-indulgence on Quentin Tarantino's part. He draws out scenes to the point where you want to shot yourself. Now, i'm not saying it is horrible, i really enjoyed about 10 to 20 percent of it. But the rest is horribly written crap. None of the characters can get a whole sentence out before they pause 4 or 5 times to let the audience catch up to the previous three words they just said. Don't even get me started on the overrated David Carradine. I don't know how anybody thought he was good in this film. Maybe good for David Carradine, but not good for any other legitimate actor. Uma did ok, but her line delivery wasn't anything to cheer about. Michael Madsen was tolerable as was Darryl Hannah, until Quentin decided to have her spat out that crap about the black mamba. I think Quentin thinks that if he draws out a scene 5 minutes longer than it is supposed to be with a monologue about snakes or comic books he is supposed to be considered brilliant. Surprisingly that is what everyone is saying, but i found it be the opposite. Alright, i am done ranting about this film. Go see it if you haven't yet and please take note of what i am saying. Oh and the cinematography and camera angles are good, as is the music. There is the 10 to 20%
The Brotherhood (2001)
I'm Just Kidding
Wow. This movie is amazing! I had no idea one man could put so much homoeroticism into one movie! My friend and I rented this movie and realized it was overly gay with hot chicks but with no boob nudity! The movie is great! It is soo bad that it is good. Just watch it. There are three reasons to watch this movie: 1. The main actor says "I'm just kidding" to his roommate like 3 times! This is funny because his stupid jokes are delivered horribly. 2. The main actor is riding his bike and falls on his face, it is unintentionally hilarious! and 3. There is a scene where the main character is in his new gay frat. His roomie is worried about him but only has suspicions that there is something amiss, no actual proof. So he walks up to the security guy at the outside of the fraternity and tries to get in. The dude won't let him in so the roommate, without any idea that these guys are evil, pulls out a pin and stabs the guy in the neck, killing him!!! It is soo funny because the kid basically committed murder because he thought his friend might be hanging out with bad people. It makes no sense. I have tried to rent all of David DeCoteau's movies because they are bad. He loves the cock. And by cock i mean a rooster, not a penis. Oh, and if you haven't seen Big Trouble In Little China, you should see it. It is the best movie ever made.
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Horrible
I can't believe that this movie is at a 6.3 right now! The film is laughably horrible! The Wachowski siblings (one is now a chick) seem to be operating on autopilot here. I loved the first movie. I enjoyed three or four action pieces of the second, but there is no redeeming quality in this film whatsoever. The dialogue made me laugh out loud at least 10 times. The best being "Neo, I believe!" or "I believe, Neo!", i forget. I couldn't contain myself at that point. There is no reason for the kid to say that line during that part of the movie. It is a tagline for tagline's sake and is pretty damn sad. The only thing that makes this movie worth seeing is the first half of the Neo/Smith fight scene at the end of the movie. It gets tedious towards the end but for the first few minutes it borders on brilliance. Please, for the love of god, don't rent or buy this movie. If you do, come on this site and rate it a 1 so the rating will be lower. If you are looking for something else to rent, rent Big Trouble in Little China. It is the greatest movie ever made.
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Greatest Movie Ever Made
Big Trouble in Little China is the greatest movie ever made. Why, you ask?
Don't ask me why, ok, it just is. It is so effortless and fun that you can't help but enjoy yourself. Kurt Russell is Jack Burton, there is no distinction between the two. He embodies the man that others aspire to be. See this movie. If you don't like it then you are lacking in something in your life. Whether that something is a sense of humor or a pair of testicles, I don't care, you have to like this movie.