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The Jerk, Too (1984)
How is this a sequel?
In the event that you ended up here without having seen the first movie, please watch The Jerk first and this movie never.
Despite this being called The Jerk, Too, it in no way whatsoever advances the plot of the first movie, first and this movie instead starting over with Navin leaving his sharecropper family. I was like "Okay, so it's a remake?" but it's not even that; Navin never ends up at Jackie Mason's garage, never invents Opti-Grab, never gets rich, and never gets sued into bankruptancy. He never even becomes a jerk!
Instead, he and Marie already know each other as pen pals and he basically becomes Rain Man for two scenes before he finally gets around to infiltrating Marie's wedding since the guy she's marrying is misogynistic twit. There's also a musical number that comes out of nowhere and serves no purpose aside from padding out the film. The only thing that brings even an inkling of excitement is a car chase where a Cadillac limousine somehow can't catch up to an ice cream van.
Literally the only connections this movie even has to The Jerk are the title, the main character is named Navin and was raised by a poor black family and his love interest is named Marie. No Mr. Hortunion, no sadistic biker babe, no Opti-Grab, no mansion, not even S***head the dog appears. Unlike The Jerk, the black family never appears again after Navin leaves. Aside from the obvious stuff like they're both feature-length movies, both have humans in them, etc, this movie is completely unrelated to the first. Literally the only reason anyone even knows it exists is because of the name.
Mark Blankfield is wasted here. Check out Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again if you want to see how funny he can be.
So Long to Run (1978)
It's okay, but needed to be longer
This short film about a woman struggling after leaving her abusive husband is okay, but it definitely would have benefited from a longer runtime. It doesn't really get across too well that the system is making things difficult for her; the police visit her motel because a man was seen climbing her fire escape; they had good reason as the man could have been her ex-husband.
Speaking of the ex-husband, he is played by John Dunsworth who would go on to be more well known as alcoholic park supervisor Jim Lahey on Trailer Park Boys. This was his first screen appearance and he does look the part of a scumbag wife beater, but he's not in the film that much. He's only in the first half before he's arrested for trashing his ex-wife's apartment.
Curiously, the actress who plays our lead, Jan Pottie, did no other work and this short film is her only acting credit. Not too surprised considering her last name.
The Groove Tube (1974)
Great '70s fun! Definitely not one to watch with parents around!
This was a riot, mostly, from beginning to end! Butz Beer, Brown 25, Koko The Clown, Let Your Fingers Do It, Safety Sam and The Dealers! All great wonderful hilarious segments! Some segments like The Sex Olympics or whatever it was called, the President, and Kramp TV Kitchen, mumble jazz over the Watergate hearings, I can take or leave, they were just fine. The final segment, where Ken Shapiro does a cute song-and-dance number while wearing a brightly-coloured tux on the streets of New York was a worthy finisher to the film! This movie also has an excellent soundtrack!
However, my least favorite segment was the evening TV news. The actual phony new stories like the part set in Vietnam but was obviously filmed in a muddy field on the edge of the Upper New York Bay were all fine but the ending... ugh the ending... after the news anchor signs off, the camera stays on him as he just awkwardly sits there, fumbles with his pen, signs some papers and slowly tries to crawl away. The ending of that particular segment was just tedious, drug on way too long, serves zero purpose other than to pad the film's runtime (much like how I'm padding this review complaining about it) and the 3-5 minutes of drudgery from after he signs off until it goes to the next bit feels like forever and really should have been replaced by another segment entirely. Keep your VCR/DVD player remote handy for this one!
Overall, from the trippy psychedelic opening credits to the old-fashioned '70s-era logos at the end of the commercials, this film is so VERY '70s and very much a product of it's time and makes me wish I had been around at the time to experience this film in the context of the 1970s. Plus, there's a ton of nudity from mostly women in addition to sexual acts being described in detail so make sure you're home by yourself before popping this one into your VCR! Get in your chair, kick back a few beers, get a few bowls into you and check out The Groove Tube! And if you want more TV sketches once the end credits begin to roll, grab Kentucky Fried Movie and Amazon Women on the Moon and have yourself one HELL of a hysterical triple feature!
Grizzly II: The Predator (1983)
It should have stayed unfinished
This movie is easily one of the worst hack jobs I have ever seen. Why in the love of fudge would you take an unfinished film from the 1980s and pad it out with stock footage from the 2010s instead of using stock footage that was around when production was initially halted? Those clips stick out like a sore thumb and completely take me out of the film. This movie is all a giant train wreck from start to finish, every decision they made while stitching together this Frankensteinian abomination is the absolute wrong, worst possible choice they could have made.
William Girdler made Grizzly, Day of the Animals, and The Manitou which are all amazing films. I'm willing to bet that had he been alive to see what became of this movie, cease and desist orders would have been sent out fast enough to make your head spin. This is a complete insult to his legacy that no doubt has him turning in his grave. I myself have zero film-making experience and I could have put this film together better. Ed Wood could have done a better job!
If this is the best they could have done, they shouldn't have even bothered. Nothing in the new footage syncs up with the old stuff, things that are meant to be in the same location look like they are miles away. This "movie" is little more than a compilation of stock footage with the thinnest plot possible and it's a complete waste of time, effort, and money. Not just yours, but everyone who "finished" it. Shame on all of you.
Chillerama (2011)
Great schlocky fun!
Wadzilla - 9/10
I Was A Teenaged Werebear - 4/10
The Diary of Anne Frankenstein - 8/10
Deathication - 3/10 (though this one doesn't count because it's so short)
Zom-B-Movie 7.1/10
Wadzilla starts things off with a wonderful send-up of cheesy '50s monster movies with a doctor played by the "DON'T TOUCH ME, MAAAAN!!!!" guy from Robocop giving some poor impotent guy some pills that are meant to strength his sperm but instead, he ends up essentially giving birth to a giant chinchilla-sized sperm through his... one-eyed wonder weasel and it just keeps growing until it's Godzilla-sized.
I Was A Teenaged Werebear was alright, but it's my least-favorite segment. It spoofs beach films, greaser films, gay cinema, and musicals and in my opinion, it just spoofs too many things to cram into a 24-minute segment. I think it would been better-served to just leave the beach and musical bits out and just have it be a gay parody of the I Was A Teenaged ______ films that were trending in the late-'50s. I'd still watch it again, but only for the gore. I'm also not the biggest fan of musicals so there's that.
The Diary of Anne Frankenstein
The skinny guy from Hatchet who'd rather see a bunch of fog and marshes instead of hot chicks plays Adolf Hitler who uses parts of deceased Jewish inmates creates a Frankenstein-ish monster. Where does he know to do this? From Anne Frank's diary! Turns out that Anne Frank's great-grandfather was the infamous Dr. Frankenstein. However, the monster ends up turning against his Nazi creators and his fight with Hitler goes through all three sets of the film. The dialogue starts out as normal German, but gets worse as the segment goes on, until they're trying to pass off vaguely German-sounding words (such as clothing store chain Osh Kosh B'gosh) as German but it works incredibly well!
Deathication
This segment is only a couple minutes long. This is basically a send-up of films from John Waters, mostly Pink Flamingoes. It starts off with a William Castle-esque intro explaining how the movie will literally make us, the viewers, crap our pants. This segment is pretty juvenile, but it gets points for a priest fighting off a caca demon with a crappy cross. Seems they may have also been inspired by 2Girls1Cup. This segment is cut short by a zombie attack, leading into...
Zom-B-Movie aka the framing story
At the start of the film, a guy digs up his dead wife who was apparently quite self-absorbent when she was alive and he feels his thanks for putting up with her is LONG overdue but before he can begin the post-mortem hanky-panky, she comes back from the dead and bites off his winky! He goes to work, infects the butter for the popcorn, and now we have crazed sex zombies running rampant like a gory remake of Shivers! Tom Smykowski from Office Space gleefully shows off how much he obeys the 2nd amendment and is gunning down crazed sex zombies left and right so the two unzombified people left at the drive-in can escape, only get to the car (a '73 Cadillac Sedan DeVille) and find that it won't start. So they give up and decide to bang before the zombies break in. Great segment, though the ending is pretty weak. They try to start the car and give up after it doesn't start only once? I would've been trying and trying until it either starts or, if the filmmakers were dead (or would that be undead?) set on them not making it out, the starter blows out from overcranking.
If you can get past Teenaged Werebear and the lackluster "Welp, guess we'll die!" ending of Zom-B-Movie, Chillerama is a great cheesy anthology film to spend an evening watching the demented lunacy that it provides! Highly recommended!
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
Well worth the wait!
This movie was amazing. It proved that with the right people, you can make a sequel 30+ years after the original installment and still have it work with the right people! If you loved the original film, this movie is for you. Make sure you stay for the stingers!
Better Off Dead... (1985)
*beep* this movie. SUICIDE IS NOT A ****ING JOKE!!!
Suicide is NOT something that should be made fun of. My best friend in high school committed suicide and it upset me so much I almost dropped out. We had known each other since we were six and it tore me apart. Seeing it turned into a joke here is downright appalling and makes me feel physically sick to my stomach that someone would have the gall and audacity to try and make people laugh at it/
This movie also wants to be a John Hughes-style teen movie and it fails miserably. John Cusack is damn lucky he even the slightest inkling of a career after this movie. I honestly wish Lane's first attempt had been successful so I would not have had to sit through the rest of this purile and insulting garbage.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
A Guide on what NOT to do during a zombie apocalypse.
This movie had a LOT of potential but just fell completely flat. Bill Murray has a few good funny lines but judging by the remainder of his performance as well as Adam Driver's, they both put almost no effort or emotion in and seem to be there just so they can cash a paycheque. When Bill first sees a zombie, he acts completely calm which would lead you to believe this is because he knows what to do, right? WRONG. He shoots this zombie twice in the chest before Adam hacks its head off.
Selena Gomez and a '67 LeMans (identical to the one from Night of the Living Dead including it's real-life color of light green) show up but they really do nothing at all, aside from the LeMans providing fan service. They also get Steve Buscemi to play a racist farmer (though this only goes as far as him wearing a MAGA-like hat, even though he shares scenes with Danny Glover) but like Selena Gomez and her two friends, is only there to add to the number of kills. This movie also MAJORLY skimps on the gore. In fact, this is one of the least bloody zombie movies ever. At least five characters find themselves "overcome by the zombie hordes" but we never see people getting torn apart and eaten alive; no limbs are torn off, no guts are ripped out, there's no grand gory "THE KILL" like Capt. Rhodes in Day of the Dead or David in Shaun of the Dead.
Speaking of that, several characters, including our two leads, make a bevvy of unbelievably stupid, STUPID decisions. For example, Danny Glover and the town's gas station owner take shelter in the town's hardware store which also sells guns and completely board up the store's front door but forget about the back... even though it's in plain sight from the front and Mr. Glover's character has presumably owned this store for a while. The zombies break down the back door and these two are goners. Any sane person during a zombie apocalypse in this situation would turn their gun on themselves before the zombies even got within biting distance... these two just stand there and let themselves get eaten. The town's three cops drive INTO A CEMETARY (where the majority of the zombies are coming from) AND GET THEIR CAR STUCK ON A ROW OF BODIES (that they most certainly saw and knew that their Crown Vic would not be able to drive over).
At one point the car is completely surrounded and one of these officers can no longer take the stress of the zombie apocalypse and decides to kill herself. Now if you were a cop in this scenario, what would you do? Perhaps find a long straight stretch road, get your cruiser going as fast as possible and then crash into the next support beam you see? Perhaps you would put your gun's barrel in your mouth? Possibly take advantage of the handy-dandy shotgun next to you, take out the car's windshield and GTFO? What does this example of shining intellect do? She gets out of the car and allow the zombies to eat her alive. She choose to be torn limb-from-limb and disembowled rather that eat a bullet; she chose one of the most painful and horrifying ways to go instead of one of the quickest and most painless. -_-
Shortly after she bites it, the zombies are distracted by something else and begin flocking away from the car. You would think that our two surviving cops would take this opportunity to get out of the car, make a run for it and seek alternative transportation. Perhaps try and spot the recently undead female cop, kill her, take her keys, make a break to the station and escape in her car? Yeah her car is a 2nd-generation Prius but any port in a storm! Or they could have waited until all the zombies were a safe distance away, one of them gets out and pushes the car while the other floors the gas and if that doesn't work, kill the undead lady cop and take her keys for plan B and if THAT doesn't work, the first possibility I talked about would become plan C. Nope, these two decide to do a macho last-stand even though there was ample room for them to just walk past the zombies...
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
Fear and Loathing this movie
I really REALLY hate pretentious comedy movies like this, Grand Budapest Hotel, Royal Tenen-BOMBS, and The Big Lebowksi where I hear it's one of the best comedies ever made, I sit to watch it expecting non-stop laughs... closest I came to grinning was a smirk at the "This is bat country" line, not because it was funny, but because I finally heard that famous line in context. I finally gave up when by the time Jake Busey pulls over Mr. Del Toro, not only had I not laughed once, the movie hadn't put a single effort into being funny.
The acting was okay, but there's only so much you can do with such an unfunny and garbage script.
They could have had Johnny Depp thinking he's picking up a hot young woman who's a perfect 10, only to wake up the next morning in bed after the drugs have worn off and found the "perfect 10" was a hallucination and he actually bedded an 80-year-old woman. THAT would have been funny! But no, we just have two drug addicts acting like idiots. How on God's green Earth do you make a "comedy" about two guys constantly tripping on drugs and make it a total bore? Even freaking BIO-DOME put more comedic effort in and was a better comedy than this. When a critical and financial failure starring Pauly Shore such as Bio-Dome gets more laughs than this, you have completely and utterly failed and a filmmaker and should never make another comedy again before taking several classes on how to write comedy. I can safely say to Mr. Terry Gilliam (without this review being unaccepted due to profanity), screw you and screw your stupid movie for wasting my time, equaling one hour of my life which I will never get back.
Jigoku (1960)
A very very good Japanese horror flick!
This movie is a very interesting film to watch. Some of the Hell scenes are jsut beautiful to look at. The Hell depicted is this movie is the version from Japanese Buddhism.
This movie is about a student named Shiro who CANNOT catch a break; his best friend is evil and has no qualms about leaving someone he just hit with his car to die in the middle of the road, his girlfriend is killed in a traffic accident, his best friend seemingly dies right in front of him, another girl he falls in love with (played by the same actress as the girlfriend!) is shot dead by his "best friend" and he can't even avenge her without being strangled to death himself. If that's not bad enough, he is sent to Hell for indirectly causing someone to die (the guy was hit by Tamura because Shiro wanted to take a shortcut) and strangling his best fiend (not a typo) to death. Talk about it not being your week! I certainly hope that you'd have to do a bit more than be a passenger in a car used to commit hit-and-run and vehicular manslaughter and strangling someone who just murdered your girlfriend to get sent to Hell.
Anyway, the last 40 minutes take place in Hell where people are given horrific punishments regardless of the situation in which the sinful decision was made. For example, Shiro's wicked father who served all the people in the retirment hoem tainted or poisoned fish and killed them is sentenced to eternal flaying. His professor who is a genuinely good person took water from a soldier while both of them were dying of thirst during WWII. His sentence is to forever be dying of thirst back in the war and crawling towards a puddle that will always drain itself before he can get to it. However his character died by committing suicide which some religions do view as a sin so that may have been his sin instead.
This movie has amazing visuals and I highly recommend you watch it at least once. This movie also has really good gore effects for 1960. People get flayed alive showing all their guts, eyes are ripped out, people are sawed in half, a woman's head is chopped off and her body is pulled away, someone gets their hands chopped off, people have giant glass spikes impaled through their throats, and people are beaten bloody only to reform and go through it all over again. This movie was made 3 years before Blood Feast which is said to be the first splatter flick. Nah, Jigoku is the first splatter flick. Shiro gets hope spot after hope spot... just when you think his luck starting to turn, things go wrong.
There are a couple problems I have, though. First of all, the movie's editing can be a little janky at times; when the crash happens that kills Shiro's girlfriend, the taxi crashes into a pole and clearly sustains little to no damage but upon cutting to a close-up of the front end and for the rest of the scene, the car suddenly has a lot more damage. Tamura (Shiro's evil friend) is clearly turning the wheel to avoid the person he ends up hitting but the car continues to move forward. In Hell, the cuts to other scenes can be very sudden but this is to disorient you.
The other problem I have is the ending; Shiro is given one last chance to save his unborn daughter by catching up to her an a giant spinning wheel and it goes to a freeze frame, we see everyone's dead bodies again, and then it shows the two girlfriends seeming to welcome somebody into Heaven.
Another problem I have is a couple of characters get sent to Hell even though they seem innocent, one of which is Shiro's girlfriend who died when the taxi hit a pole. I wasn't aware it was a sin in Japanese Buddhism to die in a car crash. Another is Shiro's professor but the way he died may have had something to do with it.
I would really love to have been there when they were making this because some of the Hell sets are gorgeous and I would love to know what they looked like in real life. Seriously, they HAD to have had a crew of firefighters ready for that giant flaming wheel scene.
Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984)
Overhyped garbage home movie
This is not a blaxploitation film. This is just some schmuck's garbage home movie that they pathetically tried to pass off as an actual movie. If you pay hundreds of dollars for this, you got ripped off big time and you deserve to lose the money. Maybe the N in Chester N. Turner's name stands for numbskull. That's the only explanation for why he thought anyone should waste money and time on his worthless pathetic attempt at film-making.
By the way, this movie's music made me want to put a power drill through one ear and out the other. Do not watch this "movie" at all. You want a killer doll movie, watch Chucky. Hell, even Pinocchio's Revenge is better this. If this counts as an blaxploitation film, so do Big Momma's House, Are We There Yet? and Nutty Professor. DO NOT buy this movie. If you spend hundreds of dollars on this, you're a giant sucker.
The Fly (1958)
A great movie completely ruined and spoiled in the first five minutes.
I really shouldn't have to put a spoiler tag on since the end of the movie is literally the first thing you see; the Andre-Fly monster getting it's head crushed which obviously kills it. The rest of the movie is told in flashback and is about his family desperately trying to capture the fly that has his head... but it's completely pointless because we know that they fail!! I couldn't bring myself to care or be concerned for the main character because I know that he dies!!
There's literally no point to watch this movie past the first five minutes because you know that the main character's family's struggles are in vain, you know that there's no hope for our main character!
It'd be like if Terminator 3 started with John Connor and Kathrine Brewster at the old Government fallout shelter and John told us of the struggles in trying to stop Skynet from the beginning; it'd be pointless because we'd know that they lose and Skynet wins!
I'm so glad James Clavell never wrote another sci-fi movie after this. He couldn't even put the movie's ending in the right place.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
appallingly unfunny
I really hate "comedy" movies like this and Budapest Hotel that try to be all deep and dramatic and artsy with a narration, presented like we're watching a book. Why? THEY AREN'T FUNNY. I'd rather read a darned book than watch this kick in the nards to comedy ever again.
I wouldn't give it such a low rating if it didn't have Luke and Owen Wilson, Ben Stiller, and Bill Murray!!! HOW?! How on Earth can a comedy exist that has four of the funniest people in the world in the cast and not even make me laugh once?!
This is easily one of THE most disappointing movies I have ever seen. It takes a special level of incompetence to have Bill Murray in your movie and have it be entirely devoid of humor.
Again, this movie stars people who were in gems like Wedding Crashers, Ghostbusters, There's Something About Mary, and Lethal Weapon! Was this just a case of "too many cooks"? No!!! There's been movies where the entire cast is comedians and those movies are gold! Ed Wood and It's A Mad x's 4 World come to mind!
If you want to laugh at a movie with Bill Murray, watch What About Bob?.
If you want to laugh at a movie with Ben Stiller, watch Night at the Museum
If you want to laugh at a movie with Owen Wilson, watch Starsky and Hutch, also with Ben Stiller.
If you want to laugh at a movie with Danny Glover, watch Lethal Weapon. All of them. Even the fourth movie is gold compared to this.
Jacob's Ladder (1990)
A great horror movie completely ruined by a garbage ending
I loved this movie to pieces and it was horrifying but all the horror, suspense, scares, thrills, etc are completely ruined and undone by the 100% BS that is the final 60 seconds. If you do not want this movie to be completely ruined for you, stop it when the screen goes white after the final scene with Tim Robbins and Macaulay Culkin.
The Time Machine (1960)
An absolute sci-fi treasure!
After adapting The War of the Worlds, George Pal made lightning strike twice by adapting H. G. Wells' The Time Machine.
This is by far one of the BEST time-travel movies I have ever seen! While the special effects aren't decades ahead of their time like in Pal's previous H. G. Wells previous adaptation, they are still very good for the time.
Rod Taylor is extremely likable as George, he is incredibly brave, witnessing a cataclysmic event that would send the average person back to their time in a heartbeat but he presses on.
The special effects here are incredible, it feels like we're actually watching time go whizzing by with him.
Definitely watch this, I can't praise this movie enough.
Freaked (1993)
'90s: The Movie
This movie is completely crazy and I loved every second of it! Alex Winter, Brook Shields, Mr T, Randy Quaid, and an uncredited Keanu Reeves bring to the world of cinema one of, no, THE most '90s movie I have ever seen. This is like if MTV and '90s Nickelodeon merged to create the wackiest, craziest bat-dookie insane movies I have ever seen.
The special effects are top-notch, the make-up and claymation are some of the best you will ever see and the acting is fantastic! Randy Quaid plays and acts like a crazy long-haired bearded lunatic... so he's basically acting like he does in real life now, LOL!!!!!!
The opening credits make you feel like your on LSD and acid, so SEIZURE WARNING!!!!
One last note, if you can find another movie that has Gumby doing a very x-rated thing and giving an obscene gesture, I'll give you both my kidneys.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
lame
Three schmucks wander around a forest and get lost.
Only scene that was scary was something happening to Josh at night. Other than that, boring.
The movie ends with two camera's falling and one of the guys standing in a corner. Lame.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017)
Predictable "road trip goes wrong" movie.
If you've the first three movies, you know the gist; Greg Heffley is the unluckiest kid in the entire world and everything that could go bad for him does. A gamer is about to beat a world record? Greg will somehow ruin it. I saw it coming.
This movie is based on a book. There is a scene in the book where the family is driving through a hunting zone and there's a loud BANG!!! We're lead to believe someone took a shot at the minivan, but an tube of cookie dough exploded. The movie makes a mistake and shows the tube inflating on the vent, thus ruining the impact.
The one moment that redeemed the movie for me was the spoof of the infamous Psycho shower scene but that was already done in National Lampoon's Vacation but wasn't as long there.
Speaking of which, this movie seems to borrow/steal jokes from older better roadtrip comedies. Greg peeing into an empty bottle and needing more than one? Dumb and Dumber. Two kids tricking other motorists into thinking they've been kidnapped? Are We There Yet? A kid making an enemy of another person who follows them the entire movie? Done only TWO YEARS EARLIER in Vacation!
This is a decent roadtrip movie, but there's a lot of much better ones you could watch instead.
End of the World (1977)
A gripping, suspenseful sci-fi thriller!!!
Don't let all the negative reviews fool you; this movie is a low-budget high tension thriller with aliens!!!
This movie is beautifully shot, getting you immersed into the 1970s setting and sucking you in... what if... all these natural disaster you see in the news are something bigger? This is no goverment conspiracy ..... the aliens are behind it!
Christopher Lee is not Dracula but a heartless alien... a role he plays to perfection!!
In this movie, everything explodes; pay phones, coffee machines, computers, Ford Thunderbirds, and paper mache planets!
If it seems boring, just let your mind fill the blanks.
The Happening (2008)
Another turkey from M. Night Schlamalamadingdong...
What if instead of a toxin making people go insane and start killing other people for no reason, the toxin instead just made them kill themselves? This movie answers this question.... and proves that it was a question better off left unanswered!
Mark Wahlberg is a fantastic actor, but here he just doesn't give a crap, he's phoning in every line. Where's the fantastic acting we saw in the Ted duology, dude?
His wife, she constantly has a look on her face like she just crapped her pants and doesn't want anyone to know. Or like a zombie with no appetite..
John Leguizamo.... I would expect better from the guy who gave us Luigi Mario and the main character from Land of the Dead. Here, he's just as forgettable as Wahlberg.
Guess who else pops up in this movie but is wasted more than Johnny L. and Marky Mark combined? None other than... Brian "Dante Hicks" O'Halloran. He's in the movie for five minutes and doesn't say a word. I would've given this movie five stars to just hear him say "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
Do not watch this trash.
Gojira: hoshi wo kû mono (2018)
Worst Godzilla movie ever
This movie sucked, just like all the other ones. We got teased with Ghidorah being huge and epic, and we only see his heads.
This series focuses 95% on our human/alien characters. In the Showa films, the human scenes were boring and tedious and just made us wait for the next monster scene. The Heisei films actually had the same human characters through out and had them grow and evolve. The millennium series... it didn't have consistent characters but at least they were okay. Here, the humans make the entire trilogy completely UNWATCHABLE. This entire series sucked, the writing was piss-poor, the voice acting was fantastic but there's only so much you can do with such a bad script. I wanted our main character dead after the first 15 minutes of the first movie and after three sucky anime movies with ZERO character development I finally got my wish; Haruo dies at the end of this one by way of suicide and I couldn't be happier!!!. I would rather slog through Godzilla's Revenge three times in a row than watch this complete waste of gorgeous animation again. Screw this entire goddamned trilogy in it's fat radioactive ass. I hope that the rule of three is in play and that this is the LAST bad Godzilla story/movie we will ever see.
Bring on Godzilla: King of the Monsters to wash the taste of this burning pile of dogdookie out of my mouth.
Computer Space (1971)
One of the most important video games of all time!
It's all there in the title :P This game helped birth the video game! Following this, the Magnavox Odyssey was released on 1972, making it the world's FIRST home video game console! Than came the Fairchild Channel F, then the Atari 2600 and the rest is history!
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
So cheesy and stupid it's brillant; a 1950s sci-fi styled movie.
Oh my god, is this move ever so gleefully stupid!!! All attempts at me ever taking it seriously was erase from existence when the aliens said they had to kill off the Earth's original inhabitants.... we are then treated to a scene of several alien ships KILLING OFF THE DINOSAURS!!!
This movie is so cheesy and so lovably stupid it's just brilliant. It's practically a modern-day unintentional parody. I almost died from laughter.
Sekai daisensô (1961)
A sadly unknown and obscure antiwar masterpiece.
This movie is one of the best anti-war films I have ever seen, on par with such films as The Day After. Threads, The War Game, and When the Wind Blows.
Where as The Day After deals with multiple people from multiple families dealing with the aftermath of a nuclear war, The Last War mainly sticks with one five-person Japanese family and the few people who are like family to them, such as the fiancee of the family's eldest daughter, as they deal with the rising tensions between stand-ins for NATO and the Soviet Union and all the anxieties that would naturally come with escalating tensions that could result in nuclear holocaust.
The patriarch of the family, Mokichi Tamura (played by late Japanese comedian Frankie Sakai) is a limo driver who is in compete denial about the tensions up until the final few minutes before the titular war happens. He breaks down and rants to the sky about all the things he has yet to do, such as see his daughter get married, see his son (who is in the range of 5-7 years old) go off to college, the college he never went to, among other things.
This movie also shows schoolchildren is what I assume is the Japanese equivalent to kindergarten being comforted by a teacher. These kids have no idea what is going on which brings you back to that point in your life where you lived in your own little world with no idea about the scary stuff in the real world.
The special effects of when Tokyo is hit by a nuclear bomb are incredible; buildings are completely obiterated, airplanes are thrown about like toys, Tokyo bay becomes boiling hot and the nuclear fire just destroys everything it can while a giant red mushroom cloud rises over the city but it's not over yet. Acid rain comes down and destroys even more buildings, a volcano erupts (I assume it's Mount Fuji but it's miles away from Tokyo so it's either artistic license or another volcano) and what little is left of Tokyo at this point is swept away in rivers of lava... the final shot of the movie shows what precious little is left of the Diet Building, possibly the only remaining thing in Tokyo.
Definitely watch this movie if you like antiwar/anti-nuclear weapons movies. It is easily on par with the original 1954 Gojira. I recommend watching this on a double bill with The Day After... I recommend The Day After first, then The Last War.
I was iffy on putting a spoiler tag on this since the movies title kind of spoils the ending but better safe than sorry.
The Swarm (1978)
A fun popcorn flick
The Swarm is often regarded by some people to be the worst movie ever made but this doesn't even come close!!! While nowhere near as good as Allen's earlier works like The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure, The Swarm definitely lives up to them in terms of spectacle and acting.
Michael Caine is our main star and when he ha to act angry, he actually sounds angry, shouting until he's red in the face.
when I got this movie, the side of the cassette box labeled this as a horror film and I was like "Pfff, sure." but there ARE scenes that are legitimately scary, like the infamous park scene and when a scene expected me to cry, I did shed some tears and sob a little.
The only problem I have with the movie is it's runtime. It's 2 and a half hours long and there are many scenes and one pointless subplot that should have been cut out. It's as if Irwin Allen forgot to have the editor delete the scenes that should've been cut.
So if you have 2.5 hours to spare or need to kill time for that same amount, give The Swarm a watch but shut your brain off and DO NOT take it seriously.