Reviews

Suck.

Yup, they managed to make a worse Indy movie than crystal skull. That in itself is a feat. Indy is old, his goddaughter is ugly and annoying. The story is mediocre, which everyone should expect from Disney in 2023. Indy is of course, divorced, because all old men should be according to Disney. His goddaughter is as masculine as a woman can get, because all women should be according to Disney and feminism. After the first hour I was completely bored out of my mind. Isn't it great that these writers and actors are striking? If it stops more terrible junk like this it's definitely a net positive situation.

If you liked the original Indy movies, just accept that there are only 3.

This show is odd. It feels like it's written by 6 year olds most of the time. The writing is so juvenile I'm surprised this made it past the dreadful season 3. High school kids get addicted to d&d? Sure, the nerds might, but the hot people that are always banging each other? Doubt it. Then you've got the goblin king and the farm.... Like what? Like most teen dramas, you have old pretty people playing high school students (think 90210 levels of old people playing kids), the acting is mediocre. The characters aren't believable outside of Luke Perry as Archie's dad and it definitely takes nothing but the names from the comics. The forced diversity and alphabet mafia garbage is typical for this era and needs no more discussion. And the singing, wow is it bad. Sorry, I doubt believe these kids are running around the halls yet sound like they're being overproduced in some boy band studio. Stop the singing, write believable stories. Or rockos diner (the restaurant in mission bc that becomes pop tates) will have to go back to selling greasy slop 24 hours a day to survive.

This is getting comical. Now fast and furious comical, comically bad (yes, f&f is comically bad, but it's actually funny.) this has to be the worst transformers yet. Optimus doesn't like people? Odd. 2 diversity hires for the human protagonists, not odd. Poor acting and a weak story that steals a few aspects of the original cartoon, ie unicron and the girl car, not odd (hello force awakens). Even the cgi was rather mediocre. Which is usually all a transformers movie has to offer. At least we had king Kong and his animal friends to contribute to the abortion that was the script. Please stop making these. My childhood has had enough of hollyweird. Y'all destroy everything.

I'm sorry, but wow. I went into this expecting very little and still walked away feeling underwhelmed. This movie is beyond tedious and the pretty visuals only distract you for so long.

The runtime is beyond 3 hours, and it is readily apparent throughout the movie. Everything is dragged out except for the story, which is a distant second on the priority list behind visual effects. Our power couple has a bunch of kids who never do what they're told, ever. Angry soldier man is back in an avatar because Cameron couldn't think of a different antagonist, so he implanted soldier guys memories into an avatar to keep him alive. Humans returned to Pandora to kill Jake and extract goo from whales. I'm sure the goo had a name but I don't recall what it was, hopefully it was more thought inducing than..... Unobtainium. Sigh.

This movie was to the original avatar, what "the force awakens" was to "a new hope". Same story, new names.

The children were mediocre characters that were more annoying than necessary. The new tribe were a slightly greener color, otherwise they were the same as the tree tribes. Some new animals that were virtually the same as the last one, just water based.

Ratings

Special effects - 9 (3d in the Imax version was pretty meh, but the movie is very visually attractive).

Story&characters - 1 (both give mediocre a bad name) Plot - 1 (there isn't one) Ending - 1 (There isn't one, this feels like an episode, not a movie)

Overall - 4/10. 1 star removed due to the runtime which shouldn't have cracked 1.5 hours but is more than double the length, mostly to add more special effects to distract you from the lack of story/plot = 3/10.

The first 4 seasons are some of the best television has to offer. They are ruined because a little girl has a tantrum that her nephew won't engage in intercourse with her.

Whether it's the awful attempts at new York accents by the rock and awkward-Fina, Danny devito's character destroys this movie. It's an average action comedy movie anyways. Super forced storyline "I missed being bravestone" being the reason the kid puts the game back together, after it almost killed them all..... Stupid. Mediocrity at its finest.

This piece of trash basically spits in the face of every fan of "The Terminator" and "T2: Judgement Day" when John Connor dies 13 seconds into the movie..... Thanks for basically making those two masterpieces worthless. Wtf? This is just another in a long line of pc bs movies that didn't need to be made at all. Next time write a good story, instead of focusing all your efforts on inclusion and girl power. The 4 stars are for the effects crew, everyone else associated with the movie can feel free to go play on the highway..... Go dump on someone else's childhood with your liberal trash.

But you can be king? 🖕

King hodor would have been better and far more believable. Shouldn't Kings have personalities?