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Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
It's all in the Writing... kinda
No bad actors, no bad performances, no bad production...kinda.
Not since Game of Thrones have I been so frustrated with the direction and writing of a show. In this case it's both kinds of direction; the way they wanted the story to go and the way they translated it into actions in front of a camera. It's sloppy. And it goes hand in hand with the lame writing as well.
This show is a disgrace. Never has a movie or a book or a videogame or a show that has poor execution led anyone to believe that the quality will shoot to the skies as late as the halfway point. Which as the writing of this, is where we are now. No. By that point you know what it has to offer and even if you don't, you know how it will deliver it. And this show has delivered poorly on nearly all fronts.
It counts on you being braindead enough to forget esential lore in order to make their plot work.
It counts on you being as easily captivated as a toddler with a keychain with familiar visuals in order to disteact you from the fact that they stand on nothing solid.
It counts on you NOT remembering previous development crucial to these characters in order to force them into slow irrelevant arcs.
Horrible battles.
Horrible plots.
Horrible directing.
Horrible writing.
Kinda but not really decent production and make-up.
Also, the music is trash.
I feel bad for the actors. They all look like they are giving their best since they are breaking through or coming back and they are set on not dissapointing.
The writers on the other hand...
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
I CLAPPED!! I RECOGNIZE THING ON SCREEN!!
Natural. Warranted. Consistent. Well-written.
All these are elements you will hardly find in this movie.
Sometimes Marvel forgets that it has 20+ movies in its catalogue. They hope we forget that too.
20+ Marvel movies with elements that would destroy the settings and plot of other, usually weaker. Marvel movies. This is one of them.
Far from Home has a plot that only works if you choose to ignore what came before it and the movies it references.
In a world where secret super hero identities are non-existent, the movie opens with Spider-man's identity being revealed by the villain from the previous movie. We are expected to think that it somehow means anything when the identity of Spider-man is revealed. This would be an issue if we were talking about previous incarnations of Spider-man as it was a real stake in their movies, not here though. This Peter Parker takes his mask off as soon as he enters 90% of the scenes he is in, so why is it a problem? It has not been a problem for literally any other hero in this world. If they wanted his identity to be a stake, they would have introduced this Spider-man apart from any other hero and unknown to them as well, right? Or else they would be somehow forced to reckon that in some convoluted way in order to make it so, right?
Anyway, as Peter begins to get stalked and personally affected by mobs of people, he resorts to Dr. Strange for a mass mind-erasing spell that makes everyone forget he is Spider-man, risking everyone he knows forgetting his super hero alias... Not a spell that makes everyone forget what Mysterio said. Not a spell to revert time and prevent it. Other options would be to use a Skrull, whom aren't as detached to Spidey since he was around 2 of them in the last movie. I know that it would be harder to make it a conflict about Peter dealing with the problems of now becoming a public figure and absorbing the tremendous responsibility of now taking care of his loved ones while not giving up on being a hero. That would require work. And who wants to do work especially when the movie is going to sell like crazy anyway, right? Worked with Endgame...
This spell goes wrong, as expected and it opens a portal that brings personalities that know Spidey's identity in their respective worlds and it now brings references and memes back from the dead... I mean, previous Spidey enemies. These villains who all knew who Spidey was... except for Electro, who didn't know or had a hint at all of who Spidey was before he literally DIED, are back for revenge... even though Doc Ock redeemed himself before he died, Lizard saved Spider-man from death and delivered himself to the police, Sandman ended up getting forgiveness from his Spider-man and ended in good terms... The only guys that stayed evil until their deaths are The Green Goblin and Electro, so... I know of a solution, let's completely ignore their actual development and arcs and let's make them... go against Spider-man... for... reasons... Also, let's have them repeat phrases, no context, no meaning, just phrases from their movies...
Now that we know that the plot makes no sense, the characters have no common sense, the villains are underwritten to now be hollow / lifeless versions of themselves in order to "work" in the movie's plot. We are going to receive empty references with no real emotional weight. Now and only now, we can clap, we can rejoice in the blessing that is to be a mindless audience with no standards and excitable at the presence of images we recognize.
Also the other 2 Spider-men show up. Like in a cheap sitcom when a guest star comes into set, stands awkwardly and waits for the applause, then talks. It doesn't really matter what they say or how they say it. Remember we have no standards now. Anyway, they come, they go as far as putting on the suits and stand there... with the suits, clap you monkey. Cheer.
They have a formulaic, tensionless, stake-less final fight and then they all go back to their worlds.
This movie has the inclusion of 2 actual, real, good actors in Willem Dafoe and Andrew Garfield and they sure make the best they can with what they are given and make themselves the best part of the movie. At least on some level.
It also has an actual good scene. When it is stripped of its context that is. I am talking of the final scene of the movie with a reckoned Peter starting a new life as Spider-man in the actual way he was meant to start his story from the very first appearance he made.
So, in conclusion. This movie is not trash. This movie is just lazy. It had all the elements to be great, but it knew it was going to be successful with minimum effort, went for it and it was right. We clapped, we cheered and most importantly, we paid. We just encouraged laziness in our entertainment. We have showed that we have no standards. We just showed that we sell for cheap.
The Room (2003)
Doomed by Innexperience, Marked by Reputation
What is to be expected from a movie so bad it's good? In my opinion, not this.
The Room is a very subtextual movie about it's themes and arcs. Unintentionally that is, but still. I can see the machination behind what Tommy wanted the story and characters to be but failed miserably thanks to his own innexperience. Even with that, I can see a very honest attempt here. Since it was written with very little exposition and the development itself of the characters is done through actual "showing not telling"... for the most part. It was not done right, but it was attempted nonetheless.
This movie is about Johnny, a good man with a bright future. His growing frustration with the turning of events in his life and loved ones whom are unnapreciative of Johnny and abuse or waste his goodwill for their own detriment. Lisa, his future wife cheating on him with his best friend, making false claims of his behaviour and taking advantage of his resources. Mark, his best friend lying to him, sleeping with his Lisa, not being capable of controling his impulses and hipocritically smiling to Johnny on his worst moment. Denny, his almost adopted son falling into drugs and debt even though he counts on the inconditional and selfless help of Johnny.
These are some of the events that weight into the frustration carried by Johnny through and to the bitter end.
All this development we get only in glimpses since it is not really well executed or performed on any level by anyone. Were this movie any better at any aspect of filmaking, would it be remembered today?
The reputation this movie has gotten for itself is legendary. Special screenings of it are held and packed full of people willing to overact their reactions to the point of being ape-like. Acting as if every take, every line, every transition, every frame was the most hilarious moment ever put on screen. A movie with A-tier actors was made to glorify an aspect of the movie that is not really there. Completely mis-understanding the movie and making mindless fun of mis-represented events. This, I now perceive, as an almost act of humilliation directed towards a crew that at least attempted to get a movie made and succeded. Not in the intended way though. This reputation has led it's crew and Tommy himself to act as if the innexperienced nature of it's making was not only intentional, but calculated and planned. Smiling along.
I can say that, yes, this is a bad movie. But not really funny or nearly as bad as THE WORST or SO BAD IT'S GOOD movie I have seen.
Wonder Woman (2017)
The fact that it ain't crap, doesn't mean it's art.
Finally we get a half-decent movie from the DCEU. Compared to the last installments, it's probably the best. But that's not saying much.
To this movies credit, I gotta say that it has an honest heart. it's the first time that they actually feel honest about a movie. This one is not trying to elevate Wonder Woman to something unrealistic (considering the character that she is), it's very grounded, and overall a very enjoyable dumb summer movie.
Having said that. It's not perfect. Like I said. It's dumb, but with a heart. The acting is OK for the most part (even though Robin Wright's helmet thing looked embarrassing and was hard to take her performance seriously just for that). Gal Gadot was OK, Chris Pine was OK. The rest of the cast was kind of there. The plot was a lazy combination of Thor and the first Captain America movie. Pretty dull in my opinion. The way the plot moves is very dumb and most of the conflict is avoidable if some characters would just listen, otherwise they look very stupid, even if the outcome was the same, giving them some common sense would have given them some substance. It just didn't happen, but I give that to the lazy writing. The villain was uninspiring, not a big surprise for this kind of movie, so you know that it comes with lazy CG and motivation. He just serves to have a super claustrophobic final battle filled with explosions and stuff. One kind of head scratching moment for me was that Wonder Woman was trying to avoid the greatest and most violent conflict ever: WWI. So the stakes seem stupid when you know that WWII was way worse and knocking on the door. We are obviously not going to see her react to that. With a big dope face realizing that the war she thought was the worse was pretty much the beginning.
Oh, and the music. I hate it for the most part. I hate her theme. It's way too manipulating and forced.
The things that I would have liked this movie to be are way to many to be listed here. So I leave it at: it was OK, not great, kind of good, very stupid and face-palming. but nothing as sinful as Suicide Squad. And to it's credit it's the first time a DCEU movie actually makes more or less sense.
And to address those who believe that there is a big presence of quality on the film. No, there is not. It's just the first movie from the DCEU that is not complete S H I T. That doesn't make it good.
Nosotros los Nobles (2013)
Beyond my expectations
Well, here i am trying to redeem myself about this. I honestly didn't like the idea of going to see this movie at all, and the result was quite different than expected. There i was: A person that dislikes the movies from Mexico (my country), about to watch a Mexican movie, that i was sure was gonna be total crap, so if you are like me about this movie read what follows. The movie begins, and the first thing that caught my attention was the Warner Brothers logo, that put me in a skeptical mood, so it was running and for my surprise, it was really good, then it was becoming excellent, at the end i was with mixed feelings, i loved the movie and hated my self for being such an A-hole when i spoke about my reasons for not watching it. What i loved about this movie, was first of all: -The characters: I really loved what every character represented here, like :the hipster kid, the stuck up girl, the "oh my God my ideas are awesome because i think i know people"kid, the hypocrite sold friends, the real world people (you know, the people who lives in the real world), but my favorite was the father, that man knows how to give a lesson (i wont spoil it). -The way the plot was used: i am going to be honest here, the plot is a cliché, from the moment the movie begins,if you have enough brain cells, you know the plot, but what i liked was the way it was evolving, to be honest it was a "original" way to go trough the plot that we all know. There is a lot to love and little to dislike (not hate)i mean there is a lot of language but if you live in Mexico it is the standard level of language for a normal person, and that is just freaking awesome, it doesn't go to far or to limited with it, the passing is just good, even if i felt the movie was going fast, it was good, the character development is just like the plot: predictable but well handled. i really can not express myself as i wish i could but i hope you get my point. i just saw it, i would see it again, it's definitely worth checking out. to finish this i would like to apology to the Mexican cinema industry and i will check out more movies made here in México, and also say "don't judge a book for it's cover" because that is the stupid thing i did for years with Mexican movies and now regret. so a final verdict would be a 8.5 out of 10 in my humble opinion.