Change Your Image
madmacgix
Reviews
CSI: Miami: Bait (2003)
Horatio Intro Line
"Alex, this is a different kind of shark, a human one." Yeahaaaaaaaaa...
This has got to be one of the best lines delivered by Horation, but you don't find it in the YT highlight videos. I give it a clear 10 stars for being my number one.
Obviously this show is garbage if you're expecting a serious police drama. It's more like Police Academy which is a classic! Who would have thought that Horatio would recover from leaving NYPD Blue? I even spotted him in Rambo (First Blood 1982) playing a sensitive policeman, I fell of my couch laughing too hard. Good for him, a lot of people actually liked Jade(1995).
The Tree of Life (2011)
What A Mess.
I'm at a loss for words, which is a tough spot to be in when you're trying to write a review.
Let me just warn anyone who might be considering dumping a few hours on this film to find out the point. THERE IS NO POINT! If you are a discriminating viewer like I am, you will no doubt laugh at this director's attempt at art creation. The techniques used here are those of amateurs and film students (except for the length). There is a list of problems so long that I'm just not even going to bother. For you Malick promoters, I understand that this is not a review but a WARNING to help real movie enthusiasts avoid this garbage.
One thing I must note is the universe sequence, which many found spectacular, and I'm sure solicited most of the comments about the best cinematography. This was of absolutely no importance to film, and was more reminiscent of an episode of Nova than a relationship between father and son. Ah yes, and how could I forget a couple of dinosaurs just thrown into the mix. I can say something about how the CGI was on par with a boring Discovery Channel episode on dino extinction. However Malick was trying to do something more. Attempting to show the creation of the universe 13 billion years ago and then he somehow drifts over to the dinosaurs as if that is the only thing connecting humanity to this time "A Long Time Ago". He is treating his audience like children by simplifying to the point where we just don't care anymore.
I was reeling, marveling at the train wreck that Malick had created. I pictured Terrence crying his eyes out in the editing room, filled with despair, trying to edit-in crap from other film footage to repair his sinking ship. During that time he called his friend Kevin Costner for advice on how to spin straw into gold. To no avail. But alas, he appears to have gotten away with it judging by the number of people comparing Mal-ick to Kubr-ick.
The only thing that makes me feel better about this film is that I downloaded it for free.
BOMB! 1/10 N.B. I rate a 1 simply because this film is trying to fool the viewer into thinking it has content. I rate Sharktopus higher because it is so bad that it's actually amusing without the pretension.