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Estate of Panic (2008– )
1/10
Dreadful. A cornball, cheesy show with a smarmy unfunny and unscary British host...
15 November 2008
"Fear Factor" will never go down in the annuals of being a great television series. It will probably never be fondly remembered by anyone twenty years from now, but "Fear Factor" had its good moments from time to time with Joe Rogan actually displaying some empathy towards the contests if the situation called for it. Joe Rogan had a heart if he wanted to show it.

But the British host of "Estate of Panic" lacks any sort of semblance to a real human being as he "pretends" to own a haunted house that dim-witted contests blunder through in an attempt to earn some money. The funny/scary lines that he spouts out are neither funny nor scary. (Count Floyd from SCTV almost seems like a real person compared to whoever it is Steve Valentine is trying to portray.) The stunts the contests go through are neither interesting nor horrific.

I guess the big tip-off should be that the show's writers couldn't even bother coming up with a name for the host of the show and he is merely listed as "Estate Host." At least, the silent butler in the haunted estate has a name, but he adds absolutely nothing to the show and he probably would have been better off being nameless in this mess of a show.
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Pittsburgh (2006)
8/10
A pleasant surprise!
12 November 2007
It helps if you know the play or the film "The Music Man" to appreciate this film and how terribly miscast Jeff Goldblum is in the lead role. Trying to shoehorn his personality (or "acting choices") into the part of Professor Harold Hill gives this movie its wonderful comedy edge.

Given Jeff Goldblum's persona as an actor, he isn't the ideal candidate to star in "The Music Man", but he is a professional actor so you figure that he can pull off the role. Unfortunately (or fortunately), he can't which makes for a very funny film.

This "behind the scenes/pseudo-documentary/improvisational" film places loose with some of the facts which helps it to achieve its off-the-wall humor. Ed Begley Jr. gives a terrific, naturalistic performance which would fit easily into any of Robert Altman's best films. His spoofing of his environmentally-concerned self is a brilliant piece of comedy. Also, very good is Richard Sabellico who is directing "The Music Man." (Part of the credit should go to the filmmakers for getting just the right moments and shots of Richard as he "suffers" working with Jeff on the actual play production.) The whole film moves quickly and is a brief eight-four minutes, but the DVD has many deleted scenes which are also enjoyable. Maybe we'll see an extended Director's Cut someday. (Probably not--those extended director's cut films are usually made for the bloated blockbusters.)
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Crazy Love (I) (2007)
5/10
I was expecting more...
12 November 2007
This film was pretty heavily hyped and garnered some very good reviews on the TV movie review shows ("Ebert & Roeper") so I was expecting a top-notch documentary. Unfortunately, as another reviewer stated it would have made a decent "Court TV" (or "Dateline or Oxygen True Crime") episode and that's about it.

The film takes its time getting to where it wants to go and when it finally gets to its pay-off, there isn't that much of a surprise. Many people in abusive relationships are there due to their own inability to see how mentally messed up they are. That's not much of a revelation.

(I wish the filmmakers would have delved more into Burt's marriage to his first wife. Perhaps she is dead so the filmmakers couldn't get her perspective on this crime. It would have made a more fully realized movie if they had.)
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1/10
A Children's Movie? No. A Movie Made By Children Perhaps...
9 June 2007
Supposedly this is a family film that will delight children and adults alike. Well, I was delighted when it was over and I could get on to more important things in my life--like cleaning my cat's litter box. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that a bunch of fifth grade kids wrote the script and that they figured that they'd just write down anything "cool" that came into their minds. No. That's insulting to fifth grade kids. They have a more logical sense of the world than this movie possesses. My cat's litter box has a more logical sense to it.

I could go on and state how awful this whole mess was, but why bother? It's made it's millions and many actors I once respected are now laughing all the way to the bank. (Wish I was laughing somewhere during this movie. Well, my wife laughed during the entire movie. Actually, she was laughing at ME as I cringed at every line and "gag" in this turkey.)

(The two commentary tracks on the DVD are actually pretty funny as the directors and writers speak of how fond and proud they all are of creating this mess. They actually sound as if they're in love with this piece of junk. To hear them gloat and slap each other on the back is incredibly amusing in an absurd sort of way.)

This movie easily made it onto my list of "Worst Films of 2006."
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9/10
Brooks In Fine Form In This Film
3 September 2006
From the lack of distribution of this film and the poor reviews I'd read about this movie, I feared that Albert Brooks had lost it as a maker of satirical films. I almost regretted just renting the movie because I think that Albert's films are always very rewarding and I didn't want to see the man fail. But I figured the film would be good for at least two decent laughs so I gave it a spin. I was pleasantly surprised as the movie was, indeed, very good. The subtle satire and jabs he always presents about himself, our society, and Hollywood were all there in this film.

I don't think today's younger audiences understand (or appreciate) true satire which is why films like the vastly overrated "The Forty Year Old Virgin" or "The Wedding Crashers" make so much at the box office. This is a film that functions on a higher intellectual level and does not go for the cheap, gross out laugh. This is the Albert Brooks of "Real Life" and "Modern Romance" leanings. A concept is introduced at the beginning of the movie and it's only a matter of time until Brooks is deviating from that concept and exploring other possible avenues. He pokes fun at himself, our culture, and other cultures, but never in a mean-spirited or crude way. He plays a believable character caught up in a series of realistic ordeals, and not a cartoon character thrown into unrealistic situations. This is not "Caddyshack" humor, but humor that needs a higher level of educational background to be appreciated.

Most critics missed the boat on this one. I'd suggest the ones that did rewatch the Brooks cannon and see that this one fits in quite nicely.
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The Cooler (2003)
2/10
The Cooler Craps Out...
8 May 2004
I was expecting something much better than this due to all the hype this film was receiving during Oscar-time.

The heavy-handed symbolism through-out the film (almost in every scene) had me cringing; the "Movie Made For TV" level of acting had me squirming (I know. A lot of people have said that the acting in this film was excellent, but it verged on melodramatic in a great many scenes); and the script which seemed to be written by a first-year film student had me shaking my head in disbelief. The only thing that kept me interested in watching the film to the end was the nudity.

If I want smart, well-written and acted films about people in the gambling world, I'll stick with my favorites: "Casino", "Atlantic City", "Hard Eight", and "California Split".

Score: 2 out of 10
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2/10
My expectations were too high...
8 April 2004
Ouch. I'm hurting after this one. Richard Linklater (who directed one of my all-time favorite films "Dazed And Confused"), Mike White (who penned the very good "The Good Girl"), and Jack Black (who writes some nifty songs for Tenacious D in addition to having a wonderfully comedic presence on screen) all added together "SHOULD" have equaled at least a half-way decent film or maybe even a home run. Instead, it's a mess. Linklater and White are capable of writing/directing films in which subtle characterization can deepen a film's story, but, instead, the story is bulldozed over by Jack Black's high-voltage acting.

And yet, Jack Black is the best thing about this film. If a gag or joke doesn't work, he just keeps speeding forward throwing out more and more gags and jokes. At the speed he's going, you have to admire his ability to have so much energy and never burn out. (I think if this had been a one-man stage show, it would have been terrific.) As it stands now, all logic and character development is thrown out of the window and what we're left with is clichés and a very predictable plot.

Mr. Linklater, you once gave us a very believable high school filled with `real' students, teachers, and parents. It's shame you couldn't do the same with `The School of Rock.' (Then again, maybe your hands were tied. Maybe you were forced to make the movie the way it was due to the influence of the `suits' at the studio because I KNOW you're capable of much, much better work.)

Score: 1.75 out of 5
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Choose Me (1984)
7/10
I chose "Choose Me" again...
29 March 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I had seen this movie on a cable channel many years ago and once on DVD when it first came out. Somehow, something compelled me to rent it again a few years later in order to watch it again.

I only vaguely remembered what the story was about and only vaguely remember ever watching this film before. (Maybe that kind of sums up the film--a vague story fleshed out with some interesting characters.) As I rewatched this film, it was like seeing it again for the first time. If you gave me a million dollars I couldn't have predicted what the next scene would have been or how the film ended. (And I don't suffer from Alzheimer's disease, drink excessively, or do drugs.)

The story contains enough twists to keep it interesting, and quirky, yet endearing characters to keep a viewer compelled to watch it. Still, I can't really put my finger on what the whole things adds up to. I guess it was trying to tell me that even the most love-scarred people can find love in this world. Or maybe it was saying that if you keep looking for love, you'll find it--maybe not in the way, shape, or form you intended it.

Anyway, the story revolves around a man who is released from a mental institution who is on his way to Las Vegas, but ends up in downtown Los Angeles. He interacts with a trio of women (one a "Love-Line" talk show host, another a bar owner, and the last a kept woman) whom he influences and they in turn influence him. Remarkably all the people are connected in ways that the viewer (and sometimes even they) is/are not aware of. (Alan Rudolph who wrote and directed the film and who also worked with Robert Altman on many of his films employs some of the same techniques Altman uses concerning multiple, interconnecting story lines and characters. Then again, maybe it was Altman who was using Rudolph's techniques.))

All the actors do a good job and it's good to see John Larroquette playing a serious role. The only problem I had was with Geneviève Bujold's acting.

SPOILER



(Bujold plays the talk show host (who is incognito) and she moves in with Jennifer's Warren's character. Warren's character calls Bujold's character on the phone for advice about her love life several times in the film they have several conversations throughout the film. Warren is unaware that her roommate and the talk show host are one and the same person. Now, Bujold's accent is VERY distinctive and obviously Warren's character should have put two and two together. Too bad that Bujold is not a good enough actress to be able to handle two different accents in the film.)





END OF SPOILER

Anyway, the many times I have watched this film have always resulted in an enjoyable experience so I rate this film an 7.
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4/10
Female Yak-Fest Of The Hollywood Kind
24 March 2004
I went into this movie positively and came out shrugging my shoulders, thinking, "Yeah. So tell me something I don't know." (Actually, I never went into a movie theater to see this film since it was released straight to DVD. Nonetheless, I was still shrugging my shoulders at the end.)

The movie really doesn't say very much other than to let some once female "big players" vent about how difficult it is to survive in the Business once you pass that golden age of forty. (Missing in action in the Vent-Fest are Demi Moore, Goldie Hawn, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sally Fields, Faye Dunaway, Jessica Lange among others.)

The movie could have been ten minutes long if Ms. Arquette just included the segment where Roger Ebert pretty much sums it all up: "Movies today are made to appeal to a young male audience of teenage boys since they're the ones buying most of the tickets. Young teenage boys like to watch action films and pretty young girls." There. Mystery solved. Hollywood is so capitalistic nowadays that it is fully ready to cater to the almighty buck whenever possible. (Art and creativity sometime sneak into the mix by accident.)

Ms. Arquette's film ("experience" as she calls it) wanders off in a couple of other directions which really end up going nowhere. Still, it was nice to see so many familiar female faces who once ruled the Silver Screen with their good looks. And it was nice to view how their good looks (and attitudes) were holding up in their middle-aged years.

Score: 4 out of 10
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Open Range (2003)
4/10
It goes on and on and on like an open range...
24 March 2004
Warning: Spoilers
The scenery and photography were at times breathtaking in this film. Too bad there's wasn't a film attached to it that was also breathtaking.

I found myself laughing too many times at the many ridiculous turns of events in this bloated Western.

Such as...(SPOILERS AHEAD!)





A forty-something year-old nurse (Annette Bening) who is perhaps the prettiest woman in a town filled with men, and yet she's not married, engaged, or even dating anyone. In fact, the men in the town are so lacking in testosterone that they don't even try to chat her up. Maybe the town is a homosexual haven in the West? Perhaps, she herself is lesbian? Nah, can't be because when a cowboy with very little charisma (Kevin Costner)shows up she suddenly discovers she has a libido and falls in love with him.

Gunfights in which guns always have a never-ending supply of bullets and hit with pinpoint accuracy. (Back in those days most guns were highly inaccurate and unreliable. The same can be said for the men shooting the guns, but you wouldn't know it from this film. You might think that Costner was a sharpshooter who had some kind of S.W.A.T. training.) Of course, when it comes to shooting the main villain (Michael Gambon), no-one can shoot straight. At one point almost the entire town is shooting at him while he's holed up in a little room and yet miraculously he isn't killed. (Perhaps, I was watching a Westernized version of Pulp Fiction where an act of Divine Intervention had taken place!)

A near-dead character named Button (who hours before was in a coma with little chance of ever recovering) somehow gets the strength, determination, and ability to take part in the final shoot-out.

The old coot (Duvall) who turns into Superman. He even gets the upper hand on and successfully beats up a group of young men more than half his age. And when he gets shot in the stomach in the final gunfight, somehow he's able to stop himself from bleeding to death and continue on making speeches and shooting at the bad guys.

I could go on and on (like this film does), but I think I'll take this time and rewatch a true Western directed by John Ford.
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