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9/10
Unexpectedly excellent
28 July 2021
This based-on-facts movie looks like it's going to be a trashy, violence-filled tale of mayhem, but it turns out to be something quite different, and much better.. It tells the story of Jay Bahadur (played by Evan Peters), a young Canadian who wanted to be a journalist. A chance meeting with a journalist whose writings he greatly admired (a fictitious composite played by Al Pacino) persuaded him that rather than going to journalism school, he should go somewhere dangerous and write about it. He went to Somalia, a country he had researched for a paper he had written in college, and found opportunities to interview the Somalian pirates, which no Westerner had ever done.

It's an exciting story, well told, well acted, and believable. The Somalians in particular are portrayed as three-dimensional characters rather than simply as savages (as they are often portrayed in the media). Yet brutality and ruthlessness are present in their everyday lives as well. Action, suspense, friendship, courage, humor, this movie has it all.

What it does not have, unfortunately, is captioning. Much of the dialogue is difficult to catch, especially the English spoken by the Somalians with their strong African accent. This is a rather serious flaw impairing the enjoyment of an otherwise excellent movie.
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3/10
Frustrating
27 July 2021
This right-wing Christian propaganda film (there's even one actor billed as playing "the Deep State") would be a whole lot better if the DVD offered captions. The whole point of the movie is the dialogue, and much of it is difficult or impossible to catch.
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The Muse (1999)
3/10
A waste of time and talent
15 September 2020
Albert Brooks wrote, directed, and starred in this not very funny comedy, so he has no one to blame but himself. Brooks plays Steven Phillips, a Hollywood screenwriter whose career has stalled because his scripts have lost their edge. His more successful Oscar-winning buddy (Jeff Bridges) lets him in on a little secret: His success is due to the intervention of a Muse, one of Zeus' nine daughters, who is alive in the person of a beautiful young woman (Sharon Stone). So Phillips engages her services too.

But he gets a lot more than he bargained for, because the Muse is a very demanding young woman, and she expects Phillips to satisfy all her very expensive whims. Phillips very unbelievably proceeds to do so, and when his wife (Andie MacDowell) gets wind of it, she is quite displeased.

I won't describe any more of the plot developments. Suffice it to say, more stuff happens, getting more and more ridiculous and unbelievable. Nothing about it makes sense, even on its own terms. The worst part is, it's not very funny. Brooks makes a lot of wisecracks, and a few of them are funny, but mostly we're just expected to get our jollies from what a hapless shnook he is, and that soon grows tiresome.

As for his acting, it's serviceable, but just barely. Andie MacDowell is pleasant to look at as always, and her voice has improved significantly from the days when she sounded like a broken coffee grinder, but her acting is still quite mediocre. Jeff Bridges is considerably better, but his part is small, and in any event while he can deliver his lines convincingly, he can't make them sound anything but stupid. Sharon Stone is excellent (and gorgeous) as the exasperatingly self-indulgent Muse, but the writing sinks the whole project. A number of cameos by luminaries like Martin Scorsese, Wolfgang Puck, Jennifer Tilly, Rob Reiner, James Cameron, Lorenzo Lamas, and Cybill Shepherd (all playing themselves) fail to do much to enliven the proceedings.

The music is by Elton John, and it too is merely mediocre, a far cry from his best work.

All in all: Despite a few amusing moments, The Muse is a tawdry time-waster.
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10/10
Intelligent, witty, and affecting
29 August 2020
Jessica Stein (Jennifer Westfeldt) is a shayna maidl who wants to meet the man of her dreams just as much as her mother (Tovah Feldshuh) wants her to. But all the guys she meets are losers or jerks. We see snippets of a few of her get-acquainted dates, and they're pretty hilarious.

On a whim she answers a Woman Seeking Women personals ad, and meets Helen (Heather Juergensen). Jessica is so nervous about the situation, it feels so peculiar to her, that she almost backs out; but much to her surprise, they hit it off. Helen is smart, kind, attractive, and fun. But how can a straight girl like Jessica get involved with another woman?

All the characters are very lifelike, and we grow to care about all of them. All the acting is excellent (Tovah Feldshuh is especially terrific), and the script (co-written by the two stars) is intelligent, witty, and affecting. Plus the musical score consists of songs by female jazz greats like Diana Krall, Ella Fitzgerald, Blossom Dearie, and the like.

All in all: Excellent in every way. Outstanding.
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Gumshoe (1971)
Incomprehensible trash
20 December 2019
For the first 15 or 20 minutes I thought Gumshoe was a spoof on hard-boiled private eye movies. As it went on I started thinking no, this is no spoof, they really mean it. Either way, it's just awful.

Albert Finney stars as a Bingo caller/comedian turned detective. We see a snippet of his comedy routine, and he stinks. But everyone around him seems to think he's terrific and has a great career ahead. This is only one of the very many totally unbelievable things about this movie.

Equally preposterous is the very first assignment he gets after hanging out his shingle: Some guy in a darkened room hands him a package with 1000 £, a gun, and a name. Apparently he's being hired to kill someone, and apparently the guy doing the hiring thinks it's fine to hire someone for that and toss wads of money at them without the faintest idea of who they are.

The plot goes on, getting more and more complicated until I could no longer follow it, and more and more ridiculous. There's a murder via heroin overdose, international intrigue, a dead body that mysteriously appears in a hotel room, clandestine gun shipments, women who are beautiful once they take off their glasses, you name it. But none of it hangs together. It's like someone took every cliché associated with private eye stories, threw them all into a bag, shook it up, and called it a movie.

The protagonist is a mean-spirited jerk. Practically everything he says to everybody is a cutting or sarcastic remark. (I believe these remarks are intended to be clever and witty, but they're so unfunny I'm not certain.) Many of his cracks are bigoted. And yet everyone, women and men alike, seem to think he's the greatest guy in the world, and would do anything for him.

The dialogue, oy vey, don't get me started. It's all that pseudo-tough kind of dialogue you hear in American private eye novels, and it sounds totally unconvincing coming out of the mouths of these English characters. Finney, who utters the bulk of them, seems like he can barely wrap his mouth around the words.

Some years earlier Albert Finney was terrific starring in Tom Jones, one of my all-time favorite movies. And Stephen Frears, for whom Gumshoe was the first movie he directed, went on to direct My Beautiful Laundrette and other movies much better than this tripe. It's sad to see two such fine talents so utterly wasted.

I guess it's only fair to note that the movie was BAFTA-nominated for best screenplay and best actor (Finney), and that the majority of IMDB's reviewers rank it as 8 to 10 stars, while I seem to be the only one giving it below 5 stars. (On the 10-star scale, I give it 2.) I find all that acclaim as incomprehensible as the movie itself.
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Closer (I) (2004)
2/10
A dismal failure
21 November 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Mike Nichols directed this drama about romantic entanglements among four individuals: a wannabe novelist who makes ends meet by writing obituaries (Jude Law); a fairly gorgeous young stripper (Natalie Portman); a somewhat older but still gorgeous photographer (Julia Roberts); and a doctor specializing in plastic surgery (Clive Owen). With that kind of cast and director, I expected a lot. Boy, was I wrong.

The movie is set in London, and the two men are English. The two women are Americans, and they bounce back and forth between the two men in a way that seems so arbitrary it might as well be a coin toss. There was even a point near the beginning when I thought the two women were going to start kissing, and the relations between the two guys have some distinctly overtones too (their initial encounter is online, with the writer masquerading as a sex-hungry woman); but none of the same-sex stuff ever blossomed.

Maybe that's just as well. Why add in more relationships, when the ones already there are so awful? Everybody's pretending to be sexually exclusive, and they're all lying; betrayals large and small abound. They all claim to be madly in love with whichever partner they're with at the moment, but they turn it on and off like a faucet. Perhaps this is intended as a cynical view of contemporary relationships, but it just comes across as unbelievable, only-in-the-movies stuff. Likewise the overly cutesy dialogue, which sounds like it was written by Oscar Wilde on an off day.

It's not just the falling in and out of love; in every way, these characters' emotions and statements and actions bounce around unpredictably, like nobody in real life outside of maybe a psych ward.

The title is weird too. Why is this movie called Closer, when none of the characters ever seem to really get close at all? It's a mystery.

With a cast of pros like these, the acting is pretty good. It even garnered some acclaim; Portman and Owen were Oscar-nominated, and won Golden Globes, for their acting. But good acting can't make up for an atrocious script like this one. (Incredibly, the movie also picked up some Best Screenplay and Best Director nominations. I assume these came from people who were so bedazzled by the big names, they couldn't even see the crap in front of them.)

One thing the movie is good for is plenty of eye candy. Playing the stripper, Natalie Portman's body is very much on display. And I gotta say, she has a very cute behind. In fact her derriere is what boosts this movie from a one star rating to two stars.

Long ago, Mike Nichols made some terrific movies. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and The Graduate stand out as classics. But Closer is a strong contender for the Golden Turkey award.

All in all: A shameful waste of solid talent.
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Hustlers (2019)
8/10
Good movie with an excellent performance
21 September 2019
I'm really astonished to see all these harshly critical reviews of this movie. I've never cared one way or the other about Jennifer Lopez-- saw her in a couple of so-so movies, found her acting mediocre-- but my wife and I both liked "Hustlers" and thought Lopez' performance was outstanding.

It appears to me that a good many of those criticizing this movie view it as trying to be a female empowerment movie, and as celebrating the characters' criminal activities portrayed in it. I don't think that's what the movie was doing at all.

I always review the movies I see for my own records, just to jog my memory later on. Here's what I wrote about this one:

Constance Wu stars as Destiny, a young Chinese-American girl driven to stripping to make ends meet, but Jennifer Lopez ("J Lo") easily steals the movie in the costarring role as Ramona, the veteran stripper who takes Destiny under her wing. After a while they and a couple more stripper pals graduate to steering well-to-do Wall Street johns into the club for a cut of what they get them to spend (which can run into thousands), and finally to drugging them to get it done more quickly and surely.

The screenplay (based on a real case chronicled in an article in New York Magazine) is intelligent and believable, so is the dialogue, and all the acting is very good. All except Jennifer Lopez, because "very good" isn't strong enough for her, she's really outstanding in the role, a performance without a single false note.

The relationship between Destiny and Ramona does not appear to be sexual, yet you could say the whole movie is really their love story. The music is good too, and the eye candy is wall-to-wall.

All in all: A fun flick with some intelligence and depth to it.
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8/10
Well-observed and quietly effective
21 November 2018
The most surprising thing about this movie is who it's about. As the biggest-name star, Rip Torn gets top billing as Alan, an aging and very successful Memphis music producer lauded as a living legend because he was part of the great cross-fertilization of black and white musical styles that occurred in the 50s and 60s; but the movie really belongs to Dina Korzun as Laura, his much younger Russian girlfriend. In fact "Laura" was the movie's original title. She's a songwriter, and "Forty Shades of Blue" is a song she writes in the course of the movie. She's blue because her relationship with Alan is reaching a crisis point, and that crisis is at the center of the story.

Alan's son Michael (Darren Burrows) comes for a visit to participate in an awards ceremony honoring Alan. The father-son relationship is contentious, and Michael is the other principal character in the drama.

It's a very believably realistic drama, with a well-written screenplay that repays attention. All the acting is excellent, and Rip Torn in particular is terrific.

There's a good deal of music in the movie, and it's a pleasure. The movie opens with "It's Over" by Ben E. King, and closes with another oldie (over the closing credits). In between there's some very enjoyable live music provided by the likes of Memphis session man Jim Dickinson, playing one of Alan's musician friends.

This movie has no guns, no bombs, no mortal combat, no car chases. Those who find movies lacking those elements boring should look elsewhere. But for those who appreciate a well-observed and quietly simmering character study, in which illumination comes through a gradual accumulation of detail, it's a rewarding and affecting experience.
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The Salvation (2014)
4/10
Wasted talent
31 October 2018
Mads Mikkelsen stars as a Danish immigrant to the Old West avenging the deaths of family members. Eva Green plays The Girl.

Like so many films nowadays, the plot is really just an excuse to showcase all kinds of murderous violence. The good guys are pure of heart, the bad guys are evil incarnate, and there's not a single unpredictable moment. Excellent acting, cinematography and so forth can't make up for the emptiness at the heart of it.

All in all: A well done film that wasn't worth doing in the first place.
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Crash (I) (2004)
10/10
A great movie
5 February 2018
An all-star cast including Terrence Howard, Thandie Newton, Matt Damon, Ryan Phillipe, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Larenz Tate, Don Cheadle, Michael Pena, Sandra Bullock, Keith David, William Fichtner, Tony Danza, and Brendan Fraser give performances ranging from excellent to searing in this ensemble meditation on racism in America.

The screenplay is intelligent, funny, tragic, gripping, and naturalistic, depicting lifelike characters who speak and act in believable ways; each is noble and ignoble by turns. Practically every character does something unexpected at some point, yet it's all not only convincing but illuminating.

The music, the cinematography, and the editing are all excellent. The screenplay is so intricately constructed that it really takes two consecutive viewings to comprehend it, as there are a good many details whose significance cannot be appreciated until further information is revealed. There are moments of laughter, moments of terror, and moments when you just can't help feeling love and pity for the whole struggling human race.

All in all: A great movie.
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Hair (1979)
3/10
Hair is a dog
8 August 2017
Well, I've finally seen this hallowed cultural icon of the Sixties, and I gotta say, it stinks. It's a musical, and that's a lot of what's wrong with it: "Age of Aquarius" and "Let the Sunshine In" are pretty good songs, and "Easy To Be Hard" is passable, I guess, but all the rest are just awful, with unmelodic music and pretentious lyrics. The dancing is good, and Twyla Tharp's choreography is excellent, but that can't make up for the lousy songs.

Then there's the story. Treat Williams stars as the leader of a small band of hippies, and his character strikes me (at age 68) as pretty obnoxious. Did director Milos Forman really intend for the hippies to come across as such smug, narcissistic jerks? *Were* we such smug, narcissistic jerks? I wonder.

All in all: An embarrassment to all us old ex-flower children.
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Red Knot (2014)
Can't hear a doggone thing
6 July 2016
This looked like it might have been a good movie. The music and the cinematography appeared to have been well done. But the sound level was very low, and the dang DVD didn't have any subtitles or captioning, so the dialogue was a mystery to me. I'm sure the characters were saying important things to each other, but they might as well have stayed silent.

I'm not planning on giving this movie any particular number of stars (unless the website forces me to, in which case I'll give it 5 stars since it's a toss-up), because how can I rate a movie I never really experienced? This is very frustrating.

Note to filmmakers, DVD makers, or whoever it is that's responsible for what goes on the DVD: INCLUDE A CAPTIONING OPTION!
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Movie 43 (2013)
1/10
I want those 90 minutes of my life back!
24 June 2016
It had to be a contest: "Whoever comes up with the stupidest, most repulsive, perverse, scatological, offensive, ridiculous piece of crap, wins!" That's the only way I can explain this colossally horrible collection of sketches, held together by a framing device that's just as awful. Talents criminally wasted include those of Terrence Howard, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Dennis Quaid, Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Uma Thurman, Richard Gere, Halle Berry, and a number of others, all of whom should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves for taking part in such a worthless project.

All in all: Vile.
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3/10
Superficial and supercilious
24 February 2016
I get the feeling I'm supposed to know who this Stephen Fry guy is. But to me he's just some pudgy English fellow who somehow managed to land this gig driving around the U.S. from state to state, pausing long enough in each to deliver some remarkably unremarkable observations about American life. His "uber-smart charm" is touted on the DVD package, but comments like "Americans often identify a place by its being east or west of the Mississippi River" strike me as pretty banal, and when he expresses amazement (in Wisconsin) that a water bottle left out overnight in sub-zero temperatures is frozen hard by morning, that seems downright dumb.

Some of the things he omits to mention are pretty startling too. When he passes through Clarksdale, Mississippi, he waxes rhapsodic about the astonishing number of great blues musicians who hailed from there— and neglects to name a single one of them. (Wikipedia says that John Lee Hooker, Earl Hooker, Son House, Sam Cooke, Junior Parker, and Ike Turner were born there; W.C. Handy, Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, and Howlin' Wolf all either lived or worked there at some time in their lives; and Bessie Smith died there.) No state escapes without some shallow, superficial commentary.

Not only is Fry superficial, he's supercilious as well, dismissing the great majority of what he encounters with a superior air and an endless stream of subtle and not-so-subtle put-downs. In New Orleans at Mardi Gras, while everyone around him is partying like mad and having a blast, he remarks that "fun" is a word that "makes me shiver with revulsion." In another state, when a couple who have invited him into their home give him an impromptu homemade serenade with a guitar and a recorder, he says (out of their hearing, of course) that it is the type of event that "makes my blood run cold." If those are examples of his charm, I'd hate to see him when he's being an obnoxious twit.

All in all: Fry goes some interesting places, sees some interesting scenery, meets some interesting people, does some interesting things, and makes a lot of uninteresting remarks about all of it.
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Rumba (2008)
7/10
Quirky and somewhat charming
27 June 2014
This is not the end-to-end dance movie I expected, but a rather dark comedy about a French couple whose passion is Latin dancing. There are some dance scenes in it, and they're very enjoyable, but there are long stretches with no dancing at all. Yet in another sense the entire movie seems like an extended dance.

It's in French with subtitles. But not too doggone many subtitles, because long stretches of the movie are told visually, without any dialogue at all. This is one of the movie's charms. Parts of the movie are very charming indeed; other stretches become a bit tiresome; much of it has a cartoonish aspect, even though it's all live-action rather than animation; and all of it is quirky as hell and mostly unpredictable.

All in all: I'm at a loss as to how to rate this peculiar film. I guess six or seven stars, something like that.
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