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Reviews
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Unimaginative and Boring
3D movies appear to be dominating a certain corner of the cinematic market as of late, and that's fine, but the 2010 "version" of Alice in Wonderland is anything but a standout effort in 3D visual effects.
The most interesting scene in the movie comes right at the beginning when we meet her father, a mildly eccentric but genius inventor who inspires Alice to think for herself later in life and allow for the possibility of magic and wonder even when she's supposed to be a proper lady of sorts. The problem is: that's all we see of young Alice and the promising father character. Why tease us with that and then go with something completely different?
The 3D effects were virtually not even there. If you frequent 3D movies, you'll barely even notice it after awhile, except for the rabbit hole scene which was great, but again- why couldn't we get MORE of that? Instead, the fight scenes barely utilize the 'action coming at you' quality that 3D fans want. I hate to harp on this, but really it's stunning how little the glasses and the 3D effects mean, especially in the second half of the movie when it was plugged so heavily for this feature. It feels almost like a bait and switch.
The acting, for the most part, is atrocious. You barely understand what the red queen says half of the time. Anne Hathaway's mannerisms as the white queen were ridiculous. She never puts her arms down. That seems like a small thing to pick on but watch it again if you didn't notice this. Her arms hang at shoulder level in every scene, and she walks around with a delirious, sleepy expression on her face. She's bad. Fans of the traditional Depp will not like the mad hatter. Very little of his personality comes out in this. He's featured on all of the posters and he's mostly background. Coming to this movie expecting to see Depp is as big of a ripoff as expecting to see 3D. It doesn't happen!
The most fun moments in the movie, for me, were the entirely computer generated characters. The highlight of the movie is that these voice actors did an outstanding job. It's just a shame that they were supporting an awful Carter and Hathaway performance and a weak Depp role. The only 'real person' worth mentioning is Crispin Glover, who had a pretty one dimensional role as a sinister, ambitious steward but he held his own and had a couple of good moments.
This paragraph is reserved for Alice. You can drop the ball on the Mad Hatter and still have a compelling story, but what you CAN'T do is drop the ball on the hatter AND Alice. The parts for these two were written horribly. The only difference is Depp has the talent to save it into mediocrity, but THIS girl couldn't do ANYTHING with her part. The main character has to BE the main character eventually; she can't go about just receiving the action from everyone else, and then all of a sudden at the end we're supposed to be able to believe she can beat a dragon. Action/Adventure movies don't work like that!
I'm not saying she should have been trained up for a half hour of the movie like Rocky Balboa getting ready to take on the Russian, but she CAN'T just pick up a sword and be the champion of the white queen, for God's sakes! The scenes of adult Alice leading up to and following her new adventure in wonderland are excruciating. They will make you absolutely beg to be taken to wonderland. Either way, the actress seems to have a very difficult time *reacting* to what's going on around her instead of simply saying the lines. You can't say it was because she thought she was in a dream the whole time- about halfway in, she realizes she's actually in a magical kingdom and she'd better beat this dragon to save everybody, but the cold, stiff delivery that lets you know she can't really see all the computerized imagery around her to react to it remains.
Overall, it wasn't a bad movie, but a boring one. The choices made from the scenery to the effects (for the most part) to the acting were just basic. Any director or someone with a knowledge of acting will say that the first choice is usually the least interesting, and that's what we have here- a movie of obvious choices that misses the mark of wowing us in any way.
WWE New Year's Revolution (2006)
Saved by the Edge
1)Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs Edge (with Lita)
About as good as it gets from Flair these days, he actually picked Edge up. Highlight of the match is Flair's pelvic thrusts and woos towards Lita. Flair wins by DQ when Edge smashes him with the brief case (had to get that in one last time didn't they?) Match rating:2 out of 5
2) Mickie James vs Trish Stratus
Surprisingly good women's match, kinda cool that they're letting the women do technical wrestling now. Mickie James gets the Mick Kick but takes to long to cover so Trish wins with the chick kick. Best you'll see from the women. 3.5 out of 5 (by women's standards)
3) Gregory Helms vs Jerry Lawler Where are you, Rob Conway? I'm not even going to try to describe what happens in this "match". Jerry Lawler wins with the fist drop. Wow. Match rating 0 out of 5.
4)Big Show vs Triple H Stop complaining, Triple H has done a lot of losing lately. This one goes back and forth. Triple H does his best to carry the mammoth and uses his resourcefulness to get the cast off. Triple H hits him with a piece of sledgehammer and wins with an even worse pedigree than the one he did on viscera. Match rating 3 out of 5
5)Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera Where are you, Rob Conway? Worst Benjamin match ever. My friend and I stopped and played chess during the middle of this one. We had to put it on mute because Shelton's mama wouldn't shut her aunt Jamima yap. Benjamin wins with a spin kick that never pins anyone but was good enough here. Match rating 1 out of 5.
6)Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match: Boobies, booty's. All you need to know. Ashley and ever male in the audience and watching at home wins. Match rating 500 out of 5.
7)WWE Title: John Cena vs Kane vs HBK vs Angle vs Carlito vs Disasters Order of entry: HBK, Cena, Carlito, Angle, Masters, Kane. Order of elimination: Angle, Kane, HBK, Masters, Carlito. Worst. Chamber. Ever. Nothing could top this suck-age. The best guy was eliminated first and the best two below him right after that. This left us with Carlito, Masters, and Cena in the same situation where we had Batista, Orton, and Triple H last year. Drop off in talent anyone?! Masters is double crossed and rolled up by Carlito who is immediately rolled up by Cena. Puke.
8) WWE Title: John Cena vs Edge What a shocker. Vince knew he had to do something to save this crap fest. He's not as far gone from what the fans want as we think. It's just that when you give them everything they want right away... it turns into Smackdown. Edge cashes in his money in the bank brief case (it's my theory that he's been using the brief case as his finisher to work on his weak spear) He spears Cena to hell the first time, possibly the best one I've seen him do since he took out Orton with a great one on his return. Cena kicks out. Puke. He lines up and hits another spear. I tell my friend if Cena kicks out of this then we won't know what happens cuz the coffee table is going through the screen. But he doesn't kick out, Cena falls for the 1-2-3. New champion, great moment for a guy who really deserved it. Great to see Cena lose the title. May he never gain it back. Match rating: 5 out 5 for shock value.
WrestleMania 21 (2005)
Wrestling? Yes, real wrestling!
The best Pay Per View I've seen in ages- proves the back stage "antics" aka time filler are not necessary. Only one segment in the back, the rest just great wrestling!
Match 1: Eddie vs Rey
Extremely slow paced and not the best we've seen from these two. This match lacked competitive fire- and Rey surviving a heck of a power bomb to pull out the win was disappointing. Surf board from Eddie was the highlight of the match. Winner: REY Match Rating: 3/5
Match 2:Ladder Match,Shelton vs Benoit vs Kane vs Edge vs Christian vs Y2J Innovative, unique, entertainment of the night. Edge and Christian hit a concerto with two ladders on Kane. When Kane entered, five ladders caught on fire. Benoit was busted open again, Shelton proved he was the most talented man in the match. Benoit hit a head butt on Kane off the ladder. Benoit looked like he was going to win it but was whacked from behind by Edge. Winner: EDGE Match rating: 5/5
Hassan/Dhavari ganged up on Eugene but were annihilated by Hulk Hogan. Hogan could have stayed out there flexing for another hour and would have still gotten cheers.
Match 3: Undertaker vs Orton The worst match of the night, hands down. Orton has to carry the match with a bad shoulder because Undertaker moves so slow. Orton does an amazing job of selling taker's weak offense. Highlight of the match is when Orton reverses and RKO into a choke slam. Taker tombstones for the win. Yay. Winner: UNDERTAKER Match Rating: 2/5
Match 4: Christy vs Trish Would have been rated lower than the previous match but I wasn't expecting anything from a Raw Diva Search Contest winner. Christy doesn't completely blow it for her first shot at Trish. Winner: TRISH STRATUS Match Rating: 2.5/5
Match 5: Angle vs Michaels This was the wrestling of the night while the ladder match was the entertainment of the night. Way to let two wrestlers wrestle, no interference- no cheating, just like I prayed for. Kurt Angle has to hit two angle slams (one from the top rope) and latch on a third ankle lock to beat Michaels. The crowd was going nuts for Angle, I think he's on his way back to being a face- especially if he comes to RAW. Winner: ANGLE Match Rating: 5/5
Match 6: Sumo Match, Big Show vs Akebono Not as bad as everyone (including me) thought. Big Show tries to act sexy in the thong. Big Show actually picks up Akebono which was cool. Overall Big Show shows some sumo skill. A break from the usual. Winner: AKEBONO. Match Rating: 3/5
Match 7: Cena vs JBL, WWE Championship Second worst match of the night. I would have picked this as the worst but again, what do you expect from two people who can't wrestle? Cena is one of the worst wrestlers of the new bloods in my opinion and he actually has to carry JBL. Cena finally doing a better version of the F-U though. Winner: CENA. Match Rating: 2.5/5
Match 8: Batista vs Triple H, World Heavyweight Championship Batista is over more than Randy Orton will ever be again. Batista is dominated in the beginning, but shows some stamina by battling back. Catapult onto the ring post from the outside was something a little unique. Batista has come along way in the past few months. Hits a heck of a Batista Bomb to put the Game away. Winner: BATISTA Match rating 4/5
Wrestlemania 21 completely outdid 20 in my opinion. This had several matches really worth watching. Almost all the action happened in the ring- not a lot of jawing on the mike or tours of the evolution locker room. Well done, WWE.