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3/10
Very disturbing - for the wrong reasons
8 August 2023
A large part of the story here is about an old Catholic Church girl's reformatory school, which was run by a priest named Father Martin. The program claims that the site of the reformatory is now haunted by figures of young girls who died and were buried there, and by the spirit of Father Martin who went "insane" while there.

It mentions the "highly mysterious" number of girls who inexplicably became pregnant and a haunting number of babies that were buried in its graveyard...but it decides this all occurred because of paranormal reasons and not the more likely case of an abusive and serial rapist priest.

Apart from that, whenever the host says he sees things he can't explain, the camera is always conveniently on his face, instead of what he should be filming (if it were there). Or the camera mysteriously turned itself off just as.

The local townsfolk do have some very interesting stories to tell, but they can't make up for the bunkum production.
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Stowaway (I) (2021)
9/10
Beautiful, claustrophobic, moving
1 May 2021
This isn't like your modern sci fi film. There are no explosions, no monsters, just people trying to deal with the bad hand they've been dealt.

It's not slow; it's deliberate. It's not dull; it's contemplative. There's no villain; just time and distance.

It will, alternately, have you sitting on the edge of your seat, then trying to grapple with your morality.

The acting is very, very good and the effects can times be quite dizzying.
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Wounds (2019)
4/10
No, you didn't fall asleep
8 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
It might seem like you did, because by the end of the film it feels like you missed all the exposition and explanations of what was going on. I know films don't always need to explain everything, that leaving things up to the viewer's imagination can be a powerful tool, but to do this you have to give the audience at least a few clues or pieces to the puzzle. This film provides no clues. It's such a sad waste of potential, as I feel this movie could have been really something. The acting is good, especially from Armie Hammer as Will - drifting through life, somehow convincing himself he is content with his dead end job (that lets him get drunk every night), his relationship (Will and Carrie are more like two strangers sharing a bed). His only "interest" in life is Alisha, and possibly only because he knows she is unavailable. There are so many ignored threads that could have been woven together into a taut supernatural thriller - the messages and photos on the mysterious phone; the growing number of bugs everywhere; the tunnel and the strange effect it has on Carrie; why was Will considered "chosen"; the "wounds of translation"... If only the author of the original novella had allowed someone else to screen-write and direct the film - they might have been able to pull a cohesive story out of the weeds.
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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Part 33 (2019)
Season 20, Episode 14
10/10
A different view
1 October 2019
This episode is fascinating. It moves away from the usual procedural style of the show and delves into the psychology of the main characters, showing us different sides to them but also explaining why they are the way they are.
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Antisocial (I) (2013)
6/10
Retelling of Stephen King.
14 April 2019
Antisocial is basically an updating of Stephen King's Cell, only instead of mobile phones creating "zombies", it's a social media site. There is such amazing potential to an idea like that, but the film makers didn't rise to the challenge. Antisocial isn't a terrible film. It has some genuinely creepy moments. Ironically, it's much better than the dreadful film adaptation of Cell.

Give it a go, you could do much worse.
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7/10
Entertaining but unoriginal
22 March 2019
If you like your suspense/horror/cabin in the woods films without having to think too hard about what's going on, do yourself a favour and check this out. Laura and her daughters Kayla and Maddie arrive at their holiday home, and Dad is due to turn up later than night for reasons. Throw in a possibly creepy stranger, a story of a missing boy and a mysterious tea party deep in the woods, and you have the setting for this tale of one woman fighting for her life and those of her daughters. The film is entertaining, but if you prefer your thrillers with a plot twist or two, this might not be for you. Keeping some mystery around your bad guy is usually a good idea, but if you're looking for at least some semblance of a motive, you're out of luck. One positive however is that Laura, the heroine of the piece, is not a typical dumb victim. She doesn't really do anything stupid to put herself in extra peril. She basically does everything right, but the killer is always just a step ahead of her. My biggest complaint about the film is about the elder daughter, who I'd guess is aged around 10 (I'm not good with guessing kid's ages). Both kids act quite well, and I'm sure they were directed to perform in the way they do in the film... but I was honestly hoping the killer would just take her and shut her up! Yes, she was scared and panicked, but please - be quiet, let your mother think and don't make me shout at my TV!
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1/10
I will watch almost anything
16 November 2011
... but I couldn't watch all of this.

I pray that you are reading this before considering watching this film.

I would hate for you to have wasted your money at the DVD store, or your download limit in order to watch it.

As I said, I will watch almost anything, no matter how bad it is. But I could only make it to the 50 minute mark of this film, about the same time I made it through Twilight actually.

There is nothing wrong with improvisational comedy, in fact I normally find it hilarious - but the fact is that the improvisation in this film is not funny and can in no way be considered comedy.
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The Project (2009– )
7/10
A fun way to end the day
1 August 2009
I've enjoyed watching the 7pm Project over the last couple of weeks. I hope Channel 10 stick with it and don't dump it only to show repeats of "Everyone loves Raymond" or "Friends".

I'd never gotten a handle on Charlie Pickering before this show, but I'm enjoying the way his slightly dorky, "regular guy" personality is coming to the fore.

Carrie Bickmore is terrific of course. After being used to her on Rove, it was a little odd to not hear the punchline after each news story, but I'm used to it now and I like how Charlie and Hughesy usually interject between stories I've never been a big fan of Dave Hughes, but he's not too bad on this show. Having said that, I really enjoyed the July 31 2009 episode - where Hughsey wasn't there and Jane Hall filled in. She was much funnier than he is! Hopefully, Channel 10 will stick with it until the rating settle... they are more likely than Nine or Seven to allow a show to build an audience.
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Day of the Dead (2008 Video)
2/10
Enough to make George A Romero cry.
1 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Let's start with an important disclaimer - I'm pretty generous when it comes to scoring a film. I like good films and score accordingly, and I like bad films if they're entertaining enough, and score accordingly.

When it comes to the Day of the Dead remake, my scoring system goes out the window. I normally score movies by the feeling they leave me with. The films I can watch over and over (Secrets and lies, Dawn of the dead remake) I'll score highly. Films like "8mm" or "Random Hearts" that either grossed me out or sent me to sleep will score low. But with this film, I actually had to start at 0 - and add points for things I liked.

So... I gave the film 2 out of 10. Half a point just for featuring Ving Rhames, even if it was to trick people into thinking this was a real sequel to "Dawn of the dead 2004". Half a point for "Bud", the cutest zombie this side of the apocalypse, and a nice little shout out to "Bub" from the original film. I gave one whole point, believe it or not, for AnnaLynne "Drunkface" McCorde. I thought she made a cool zombie killing chick. And it's not coz she's a hot chick either, I'm one of those gay homosexuals, so that had no influence on me.

The majority of the film unfortunately was fairly ridiculous. I don't have a problem with fast moving zombies (as I said I love the Dawn remake, and the 28 Later films)... however the zombies in this film were sped up to Keystone Cops level.

I thought it was silly that the infected people instantly seemed to rot away as soon as the virus zombified them, it just didn't make sense. Also the fact they could seem to defy gravity by crawling on walls and ceilings also detracted from the enjoyment of the film.

Overall, a disappointment. With some luck, George A Romero will return as a zombie upon his death.... and dismember the people responsible for this mess.
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Razzle Dazzle (2007)
8/10
Sweet and thought provoking
26 March 2007
I watched Razzle Dazzle today not knowing much about it before hand, and therefore not having any great expectations. I love a good mockumentary, and if I had to compare it to any other, I would say it was in the same vein as "Drop Dead Gorgeous". But of course it had that Australian flavour to it which therefore meant the characters were a bit more relatable for me. Kerry Armstrong was wonderful as a pushy stage mother. This role could easily have gone into cliché but Kerry is such a good actress that she manages to get you to almost (only almost) fully understand her motives. Of course her daughter Tenille doesn't need to be pushed too hard, she wants it just as much. In contrast to Justine and Tenille, Nadine Garner's character of young Grace's mother is more of an interested outsider. She encourages her daughter, but it is Grace who is much more motivated and has the desire. The characters of Mr Jonothan and Miss Elizabeth are also complete contrasts - one is nurturing, the other a harsh task master. Miss Elizabeth also has the best cat's bum face I've ever seen. Denise Richards as Barbara the serial foster mother is a riot, while I didn't even recognise Tara Morice until the credits... but I did enjoy her rendition of "Gold".

Overall, the film was gently over the top, which I feel is the point of mockumentaries, while simultaneously making us feel for the characters. Razzle Dazzle is well written and very well acted. Good job.
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7/10
A surprising film
25 September 2006
Wow, this film was so much better than I expected. As a zombie film lover, I didn't have high expectations. I was expecting a cheap zombie murder by numbers film with characters you didn't care about. Well, it's a cheap film but that's where my expectations and the actual film departed ways.

A young couple are on their honeymoon when Danny is attacked by a zombie lurching out of the ocean. After being dead for 10 minutes, he miraculously returns to life. Unfortunately all is not quite right, and Danny becomes a zombie/cannibal. His wife Denise, while freaked, stands by her man, all the while still grossed out by his actions.

In the last few years we've had a few different types of zombie films. "Dawn of the dead" was a traditional zombie film. "28 days later" was a modern zombie film. "Shaun of the dead" was a zom-rom-com. Zombie Honeymoon, while not in the budgetary league of these films, is the first romantic drama film I've seen where a lead character happens to be a zombie.

Danny and Denise were good couple, they were decent people. And it's not difficult to feel empathy for Denise's plight.

Of course, the film is not without flaws. It seemed to me that a lot of the dialogue was dubbed in later, and was incomplete. For example, when Officer Carp was talking to Denise, you could see his mouth say words but there were no words.

All in all, a film which had an emotional effect that was as strong as the special effects.
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Neighbours (1985– )
10/10
Just gets better and better
12 November 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Neighbours has always been one of the flagships of Australian soap. Naturally over the years it's gone up and down in turn of quality, but luckily we are currently in the middle of a great upturn. Neighbours in 2005 has been the most dramatic year yet. It began with the cliffhanger finale for 2004 when Lou's Pub was blown up, trapping Stu and Sindi in the basement. And who happened to turn up in the crowd to watch the conflagration? None other than Paul Robinson.

From this single event, the lives of the Ramsey St residents have changed irreversibly. Secrets have been uncovered, relationships destroyed, planes crashed, entire families wiped out - and that's just a small portion of the years events.

Last month's plane crash affected every single resident of Ramsey St - and will continue to play a major part in 2006 story lines.

So here's to the greatest resurgences in Australian TV, and to one of the great programs in TV history
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Spice World (1997)
10/10
A whole SpiceWorld of fun
9 January 2005
This film is a blast! Definitely not to be taken seriously (some people act like they were expecting Shakespeare here), it's a funny, charming, witty and light hearted romp through a week or so in the life of the Spice Girls. Of course, the girls play stereotyped versions of themselves - Mel C is always exercising, while Baby is constantly sucking lollipops and Posh obsesses over which black Gucci dress to wear.

The girls aren't bad actors; they seem quite natural, which is probably not as easy as it sounds when making a film. The plot is quite simple, but the twists and turns it takes (eg the screen writers explaining their premise to Richard E Grant becomes a narrative of the girls actually doing the crazy things that so far have only been committed to paper) make it a wild ride.

My favorite part of the film is the incredible special effect of the double decker Spice bus leaping over an open drawbridge. The build up to this scene was perfectly tense, and the climax of the scene was brilliantly conceived and executed. I've seen this film many times over the last few years. Andjust so you know, I'm a 32 year old, straight Australian male.
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Futurama (1999– )
9/10
Futurama rocks
12 July 2004
Futurama is the story of Fry, a pizza delivery guy who doesn't quite fit in with the world of 1999. He has a crummy job, no respect, a girlfriend who just dumped him after repeated cheating, and no friends. So on Millenium Eve when he accidently falls into a cryogenic chamber, the rest of the world goes on without him. Even his parents insisted that a police search would be a waste of taxpayers money. Fry is unfrozen on Millenium Eve 2999, and soon becomes friends with Leela, a cyclops alien, and Bender, a hard drinking foul mouthed robot. Together, they start to work for Professor Farnsworth, Fry's greatx20 nephew, and share a multitude of crazy adventures. This series is incredibly funny, and is often much funnier than the Simpsons, which was also created by Matt Groening. Because it is set 1000 years in the future, there are no societal rules for the writers to follow, and they have the opportunity to create anything they like - after all, who's gonna correct them. 4.5 out of 5
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on DVD in Oz?
17 June 2004
I found this terrific little show about 4 years ago on cable TV and have never forgotten it. I would race home from work every afternoon just to catch it, and was really disappointed to find that so few episodes had been made. Yes it was far-fetched, but what SciFi isn't? Yes it was lightweight, but what's wrong with that? Not every show needs to be Law and Order Yes it required some concentration, but only a little. I don't care if the effects were good or bad, I enjoyed this show because the acting was good, I liked the relationship between the leads, and I've never been able to resist the dejavu of characters witnessing their own previous actions.
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10/10
something in it for everyone
7 April 2004
I thought this film had something in it for everyone - if you're like me and love reality tv, it had everything good you find in reality tv, as well as the bad (meaning the trashy parts we guiltily enjoy), and can be considered a homage to reality TV. However if you don't like reality TV, it can be seen as a parody that displays all the manipulation employed by the tv producers - the selective editing, the re-enactments, the character backgrounds to create more sympathy for some characters than others... And is it hard to believe that in a few years if the trend towards reality tv continues unabated that this type of show won't exist? Just look at what is being offered up now - incredibly manipulative shows such as "My big fat obnoxious fiance" and the cut throat world of business as in "The Apprentice" Think of the rating bonanza if a contestant took it upon him/herself to eliminate some of the competition.
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Noises Off... (1992)
10/10
Hysterical
5 April 2004
I first saw Noises Off years ago, and thought it was THE most hysterically funny film I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of films. The slapstick, the pratfalls, the fast and furious dialogue, the sardines... I love it all. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen it, and I never get tired of it. I unfortunately missed the chance to see a stage production of Noises Off in Melbourne last year, and I'm still kicking myself.
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