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The Nun II (2023)
Indi-Nun-na Jones and the Eyes of Saint Lucy
The Nun, The Goat and the Possessed Frenchie
I am a big fan of James Wan's Conjuring films. Everything that came after within the franchise is of mixed quality and more often than not pretty terrible. The Nun was the low point. That movie was boring, predictable and nothing more than a series of jumpscares stitched together with a weak story. I hoped they had learned from their past mistakes.
They hadn't.
The Nun 2 is almost an exact replica of the previous film and brings nothing new. The opening scene alone is full of clichés and false suspense building. Immediately I had an idea of what the next hour and a half would bring and I was right. Fortunately, the rest of the film already has more story than its predecessor so that's a plus. The production also looks very good overall with foggy streets, mysterious chapels and imposing churches lit by moonlight, among other things. Some of the practical effects are also to be applauded. The cast does not disappoint either. Taissa Farmiga can't do anything bad for me. Anna Popplewell arouses feelings of pure nostalgia in me because of her role in the Narnia films. Bonnie Aarons as the titular nun is still very creepy.
That's about any positive thing I can say about this disaster of a movie. Jumpscares can be seen from miles away and are not even well executed. The nun hardly comes across as threatening because she doesn't really put the protagonists in positions where the consequences are palpable. In terms of shock factor, they played it very safe. There are some good scenes but they were all already shown in the trailer. Never was I blown away. At one point I did have a little tingling in my stomach but then I realized it wasn't from excitement. I had to go to the bathroom.
If you were an all-powerful demon trying to bring hell down to earth, what would you do?
A. Kill everyone with a snap of your fingers and sharp teeth.
B. Play endless games, hide yourself in a pile of magazines or a mold stain, throw balls around, scream endlessly without making any threatening move.
I don't have to draw a picture to show which option the writers took.
2*