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Barely Legal
Barely Legal (2011 Video)
4/10
If you can get through the first 15mins, you'll be OK
19 June 2017
A film about 3 girls trying to lose their virginity at a birthday party. What could go wrong!?

The first 15 minutes are pretty awful, in almost every way. The acting is pretty poor, probably due to a bad script and some things just don't make sense, e.g. All the morning drama and sex, then suddenly its only 6:30am! And the fact that 3 18yo girls can own that house with a pool?!

Once the party kicks off, the movie kinda does too. It does actually have some funny moments that aren't so cringe-worthy that it just falls flat. The acting remains hit and miss throughout for pretty much every character, bar maybe the character of Eric who was probably the best of the lot. It's most likely the tamest pool party you'll ever see in these kinds of movies.

If you want to see a lot of boobs and a bit more at times, then this movie will be enjoyable to you. The 3 leads are very attractive and you get to see quite a bit of them. Given who made the movie (The Asylum), it's not actually that bad, and decent by their standards.

If you have 90mins to waste on a forgettable yet OK movie, that does provide some laughs, and tonnes of boobs, then this might whet your appetite but it's not one you'll ever watch again after.
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Breakdown Lane
Breakdown Lane (2017)
5/10
Take it for what it is
19 June 2017
Warning: Spoilers
A very low-budget zombie flick that actually has some decent aspects to it but can't seem to decide which type of movie it is. For starters, the tone is all over the place.

It starts off as a fairly suspenseful movie, with the main character stranded on the highway miles from anywhere and there's small ominous feel to it that she'll be fighting for her life in the wilderness.The hillbillies/rednecks turn up to save her and she escapes, meets another guy who saves her and take her to the city/town, then the movie begins to lose itself a little bit.

She suddenly goes from a helpless woman to Rambo in the space of the minutes, with scenes like reading 'Shooting for Dummies' then she's a shooting ace and expert zombie killer, and the tone almost becomes like a comedy/spoof. The hillbilly/redneck just happens to be outside the door in the Mall, of all the places to be!

The pacing is a little off too, with the car scenes going over a relatively slow timescale, then once she's in the city, it speeds up and whizzes through its story, and the suspense from the start is a bit lost and it all becomes a bit tongue-in-cheek.

The acting is pretty good for a film of this stature, the lead actress, Whitney Moore, does a good job and carries the film well. The actor playing Max, was also pretty good and made the character likable. Same can't be said for the minor rooftop characters who were pretty wooden and emotionless, and just not very good.The rooftop jumping scene where they all jump onto rubbish, is clearly just a 2m drop as some of the actors landings are just awful. I appreciate that's what the set is, but still at least make it look like a jump from a building's rooftop.

The zombies or makeup aren't bad given the budget, but the CGI is bad, blood spurting everywhere yet no bullet holes or anything.

Is it great? No. Is it terrible? Also no. 'Breakdown Lane' doesn't outstay its welcome with its running time nor does it really bore the watcher. Take it for what it is, A C-movie zombie flick that quite frankly is a valiant effort that shouldn't be take too seriously. I enjoyed it.

5/10
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Ten Inch Hero
Ten Inch Hero (2007)
10/10
Light-hearted and Funny
28 April 2012
I really enjoyed this movie. So much that I decided to buy it on DVD within 5mins of the film finishing.

Its funny. It's happy. It's good acting. If you want to spend a night in and end up feeling good inside and smiling then watch this film. It explores the meaning of love and happiness and family/community etc... The comedic scenes are good (Hen-period salad).

It's interesting seeing how actors such as Jensen Ackles and Clea DuVall can transcend into another genre from such programmes as Heroes and Supernatural. All I can say is they do a great job.

If people don;t like it, fair enough. No film is absolutely perfect. But if you just want to watch a feel-good film then this is one that won't disappoint.
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Jason X
Jason X (2001)
6/10
Won't get much better for a 10th....
28 April 2012
OK, Yeah it's the Tenth in the series. Don't expect an epic. Because this is not.

To be honest, it's not got the biggest budget and at the tenth in a series, you won't really find incredible Oscar-winning actors, hence some of the acting remains a bit dodgy at parts throughout the film. Neither will you get awesome special effects and CGI, which this doesn't.

However, if you love an insane story-line and lots of gore and murder and menace then this one delivers, and it delivers well. Kane Hodder as Jason definitely delivers the hulking figure and menace that Voorhees has and he does it so well. It's an action-packed hour and a half and not to be taken too seriously. So if you sit back and don't put too much thought into it, it's really quite enjoyable. I certainly did.

Sit back and relax....
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