shannonsuxx's Reviews

Thanksgiving (I) (2023)

5/10

16 November 2023

Warning: Spoilers

I'm tweeting this while watching #Thanksgiving.

This film is horrible.

This is one of the most poorly directed and poorly written slasher films ever.

It has horrible story, horrible direction, horrible acting, horrible pace.

This film is so poorly cast, I can't express how bored yet annoyed I am at how this film plays out.

I have absolutely no idea what the characters names are.

There is no connection between the killer and the main group of friends in this movie that makes sense throughout the film.

There is the most random series of deaths in the beginning of the movie before the killer starts picking off the main group.

I genuinely had absolutely no idea why people were being killed other than they were all present at the beginning of the film.

Eli Roth is not fit to direct slasher films.

He got away with giving us Hostel and its sequel, but this abomination of a horror film is so unbelievably bad.

Does this film have memorable kills? Yes.

Will you remember this film after you leave the cinema? Yes.

Does this film make any sense?

Absolutely not.

5/10.

Skip this and save your money.

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The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)

6/10

It's No Autopsy Of Jane Doe

3 September 2023

I really tried to get into Dracula: Voyage of the Demeter, but I couldn't get past the glossy Netflix cinematography and the fact the entire time the crew was supposed to be at sea on a boat, their hair wouldn't move an inch by any wind. Not to mention the poor dialogue and general lack of grittiness a horror movie needs.

It was all stage performance-like, which is such a shame because the director's previous film The Autopsy of Jane Doe was one of the most terrifying horror films I had seen in years.

Clearly the budget for this film was a bigger one he had had for his previous films by miles and it seems like when a director has access to more resources than he needs, details get lost in trying to perfect everything.

I hate the Netflixifcation of cinema. The glossy 'every hair in place' look is so damn tired.

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Halloween Ends (2022)

5/10

HALLOWEEN H20 IS THE TRUE CONCLUSION OF THE HALLOWEEN FRANCHISE

15 October 2022

This entry was kind of what I was expecting since it's been the talk of the town on all the horror YouTube channels. The introduction of the new Corey character was spoiled through gossip and speculation which turned out to be accurate.

I didn't mind this final entry. After the first two of the franchise reboot I was expecting a completely out of left field incoherent film like Halloween Ends.

I really wish Gordon Green never lasted a hand on this franchise, but we all know Malak Akkad has to make money somehow.

There are hardly any kills in this compared to the previous entry for sake of building a relationship between the granddaughter and Corey and it's just nonsense.

It is what it is. No suspense. No tension. No surprises.

HALLOWEEN H20 at least brought you suspense and you were CHEERING for Laurie Strode at the end of the film.

Halloween Ends is sort of a joke. A disappointment.

A real head scratcher. Why did they make this reboot? It was the worst attempt at closure ever.

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Hellraiser (2022)

7/10

Surprisingly Strong!!

7 October 2022

I have only seen the original trilogy once, I didn't bother seeing the others so going into this I had an idea of how the puzzle box worked, but they take it to an entirely different level and bring an entirely unexplored lore to the film.

I will say I didn't find the Cenobites to be as intimidating until the final act where they are quite threatening, I think the lack of gore up until the final act is why, but also their stature is quite small and not like the original where they appear to be taller and more intimidating.

The cast is brilliant. I'd say the writing is a tad janky with the transition of the brother scene to the hospital scene - very random and I don't believe that's how events would play out naturally, but overall I found this movie to get better as I watched.

The final act is definitely the best part of this film.

Best of the franchise hands down only because of the updated cinematography and expansion of story.

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Selling the OC (2022– )

7/10

Better Than Sunset

27 September 2022

Just finished watching Selling the OC. Jarvis & Rose are Queens. The rest are jealous. Alex Hall is very problematic. Polly is annoying and unnecessarily loud. Kayla needs to stop crying & sell property. Brandi is sheep. The others are extras.

This is the most accurate description of the show I caught on Twitter and thought this would make the perfect review.

I found the drama to be more engaging than the Sunset series of the show. Probably totally produced, but still engaging. The Kayla storyline is also super interesting because Tyler just broke up with actress Brittany Snow so it seems interesting about why that is.

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Orphan: First Kill (2022)

6/10

Just 'Good'

16 August 2022

Orphan First Kill is just 'good'. It does something entirely different which works when you get past the great twist. I like that Julia Stiles accepted a role that is completely different to other roles she has performed. It's not scary or shocking. Just 'eventful'.

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Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

6/10

Unnecessarily LONG and Over-Edited

16 May 2022

The film is basically two hours of long, drawn out slow motion effects. That is NOT an exaggeration.

I sat in the theatre asking my boyfriend what the time was because it kept jumping into slow motion so unnecessarily. It literally could have been a 90 minute film, but it's basically two hours of slow motion and colours and minimal story. It's all about the slow motion.

I was more engaged when they were in the laundromat telling the normal story and lost interest as soon as the film became all exposition from Short Round and all the slow motion Kung Fu that took way too long.

Disengaging as hell.

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From (2022– )

6/10

Has its interesting moments.

22 March 2022

But is ultimately a non stop talk feat where you're waiting for monsters or something interesting to happen because the characters are so uninteresting.

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Master (I) (2022)

6/10

A WITCH, AN ALLEGORY FOR INSTITUTIONALISED RACISM

20 March 2022

I am the first person hate the issue of wokeness and racial division and fake hate crime hoaxes from Jussie Smollet, and although the on the nose references in this film are so obvious a swipe at white people, I really found the direction to be engaging, and the movie creepy as hell.

A lot will downvote this film because of its blatant message that white people are somehow inherently racist, which is not scientifically or socially proven, and that is their right.

I have this film a solid 6 for keeping me creeped out and engaged. Though there are a few loose ends with some of the characters, especially the storyline revolving around a tenured professor.

I choose to look at this film as just a storytelling lens for the purpose of the story, and nothing to prove that white people are different or more racist than any other nationality on earth because we all know other cultures can be pretty .... Let's say exclusive.

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

6/10

THIRD BEST IN SERIES

21 February 2022

Story line is pretty basic but when things kick off, THEY REALLY KICK OFF.

Holy crap the kills in this are so violent and just what chainsaw fans have been wanting from all the entries.

People complaining that it is woke have obviously never seen the original Candyman because this film isn't that woke.

Definitely recommended for the TCM fans!!

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Scream (I) (2022)

7/10

After a 3rd viewing it's actually one of my favourites .

15 January 2022

My initial first review said that the film was too fast paced and that it left no room for character development. I gave it a 6 and said it was meh.

After watching it a second time today I was actually to grasp the story and the new characters stories, and now I'm giving it a third watch and I love it.

It's definitely a film that needs a few watches to really appreciate what they have done with the story and the setup.

It's probably the second or third best in the franchise. It's a fan tossup between this entry and Scream 2.

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The Lost Boys (1987)

5/10

Super Uneventful

2 January 2022

After seeing fantastic vampire films like 30 Days Of Night or the Underworld franchise, I'm not sure how I always hear people saying "I love The Lost Boys" constantly.

I literally turned it off the first time I tried to watch it, which was yesterday. Today I watched the rest and I can't help but say it's awful.

It's just scene after scene of nothing happening. You don't see the Vampires until the end of the film and even though it's mildly eventful, it's not enough to save the film from being boring.

The dialogue in the film is also atrocious.

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Halloween Kills (2021)

6/10

HALLOWEEN H20 is the true ending of Halloween.

17 October 2021

If there's anything that really bugs me about the new revision of Laurie Strode, it's how self-obsessed her character is written and how she solely believes Michael is after her.

Jamie Lee Curtis constantly going on about how he is after her really bugs me because there's no legitimate justification other than he attacked her once 40 years ago.

At least with HALLOWEEN H20 in 1998 there was a legitimate connection because Laurie Strode was in fear for her life from her psychopathic brother who wanted his family dead.

The kills in HALLOWEEN KILLS are entertaining, but the writing is an absolute mess. The film takes itself way too seriously and doesn't want to make a decision on whether Michael Myers is human or immortal. It also tries to take all these moralistic stances on social themes in side plots not related to any of the characters without earning any right to explore these themes in the first place.

The entire film, the writing, and the direction feel so self-absorbed. I wish they just left the franchise back in 2002 with Halloween: Resurrection.

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Malignant (I) (2021)

5/10

BORED

11 September 2021

A horror film should grab you in the first seven to ten minutes.

It's been half an hour and I'm bored out of my mind.

No idea what the hell is happening and there's been no significant change in the scenario.

Skip.

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Mare of Easttown (2021)

8/10

Kate Winslet On Point

5 September 2021

The first episode I thought I wouldn't get into it because I hated the accent Kate Winslet was doing for her character. At first it sounded so put on.

Getting more into the show, she completely owns this character and the events that unfold are so attention grabbing.

Really impressed with this series after committing to watching past the first episode.

Recommended!

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Candyman (2021)

7/10

Horror Film Using Woke Plotpoints To It's Advantage, But Surprisingly Not Politically Woke

31 August 2021

What I am noticing with Candyman is that it is practically a horror film using mainstream woke plot points to its advantage, but is surprisingly not a woke film.

It mentions the gentrification of neighbourhoods by white people, but the white people in the film are actually not portrayed as bad or even as the villains, so technically the film isn't pushing any "agenda" like people in the reviews section of IMDb are claiming .

That's at least my takeaway, and I am one of the most anti-woke people on the planet lol.

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The Good Fight (2017–2022)

3/10

SEASON 5 IS RACIAL WOKE TRASH

26 August 2021

I used to love this show so much. Watching the first episode of season 5 and the dialogue is horrendous. Every conversation is race-oriented and is basically woke-filled nonsense about black vs white in politics, in the office and even between the characters.

It's bad enough the news and propaganda media sites are constantly shoving these stories in our faces to divide us, now they are ruining great television shows with the same unoriginal stories delivered by actors with talent greater than the material they're being given.

So disappointing to see a once on the frontline of great drama go down the drain with this lazily written trash.

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When a Stranger Calls Back (1993 TV Movie)

6/10

Enjoyed the 90s Nostalgia

22 August 2021

Currently watching this because I'm spending the night watching old 90s horror and this is turning out to be quite enjoyable even though not much is happening. It could be the nostalgia or the genuine creepiness of the film.

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Black Widow (2021)

7/10

Florence Pughes UPSTAGES Scarlet Johansen

10 July 2021

This film definitely has its flaws - like Florence Pughes TERRIBLE RUSSIAN ACCENT.

But she undeniably steals the spotlight from Scarlet with absolutely zero effort.

I actually cannot believe how bad an actress Scarlett is when out next to Florence. It's so surprising.

Film is okay. Watch if you're bored.

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Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

5/10

Fake Professional Critic Reviews

3 July 2021

I have no idea why professional critics at corporate companies are giving this ratings of 70 and up and basically saying "everything we've been looking for in modern horror".

The film is way too faced pace with characters that are thrown at you with pre-filled backstory and no character development.

There is absolutely nothing of substance here except for the gore.

The scares are low rent and the characters are so devoid of meaning half it makes no sense.

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Disclosure (2020)

7/10

Conflates so many instances of drag and cross dressing with transsexualism

14 June 2021

Warning: Spoilers

I enjoyed the documentary, but the conflation of films villains as cross dressers with being transgender was preposterous.

Sure they can voice their opinions about how they felt about the characters, but that still doesn't make the films plot they are talking about having anything to do with being trans.

Michaels Caines disguise in Dressed To Kill was because he was disguising himself to murder somebody. It was a disguise. Literally has nothing to do with gender dysphoria nor trans representation.

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The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

7/10

Best Angle For The Trilogy

5 June 2021

Warning: Spoilers

The way this film kept me interested and guessing from the introduction of the satanist was actually surprisingly good.

The angle of the film being driven by a villain who is in fact summoning demons and not a haunting was the right choice for this franchise to keep fresh in my opinion.

The scares are not the same as the have been in the previous films but that's why the tension is in will they beat the satanist at their own game.

I really enjoyed this entry.

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Mortal Kombat (2021)

6/10

As A Massive Mortal Kombat Fan, This Was Purely Fan Service

22 May 2021

This film, while being well shot and produced, is a disaster in the story department and writing.

These collection of scenes only exist to showcase the characters abilities and rivalries and nothing else.

Sure, it's action packed, but if all you are getting are for-show character fight scenes that are just put in for the fans, you're better off just playing the game.

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Four Good Days (2020)

6/10

Mediocre Depiction of Addiction

22 May 2021

I don't think Mila Kunis suits the role or portrayed an accurate version of a heroin addict, though I do commend her for taking a chance in her career to do so.

The depths of addiction reach much darker than anything in this film did portray. An accurate depiction of drug use would be found in films like Traffic.

I don't think this film was particularly believable nor powerful in any sort of message.

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Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)

6/10

Jolie A Supporting Actress To The Fire

22 May 2021

I thoroughly enjoyed this film.

Yes, the story is highly over the top - assassins, fire, murder, heroes, but THAT IS WHAT A MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

If you can enjoy mutants and superheroes, SURELY you can enjoy an hour and a half of a kid being hunted by assassins, saved by a random fire watchtower woman with some good highly unlikely environmental action thrown in.

People in this review section need to chill out and learn to enjoy it for what it is.

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