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MarkAnder_
Reviews
Old (2021)
Worst movie I've seen in theaters in my life
Came out in tears...how did we get here?
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To make review longer in order to post.
Clairevoyant (2021)
Unique, quirky, captivating watch
This movie popped up when I was actually looking for something else, and for whatever reason, the synopsis jumped out at me.
The first few minutes caught me by surprise - I had to check the production year. The vibe felt very Blair Witch Project, so I was shocked to see it in fact just came out.
My initial impression, once I got over the stiltedness and opened myself up to it, was: funny. Really funny. The main actress gave a performance so subtle I almost didn't know if I was supposed to be laughing or flinching, but once I felt in on the joke I could really see the genius of what the filmmakers were doing.
This film may not be for everyone. It's very unique, and won't sit well with those easily offended. I found it to be refreshing in a time of rigid social commentary. It's clearly very low budget, which I thought of as charming, and didn't get in the way of the content. It's an exploration of the meaning of life through the lens of an amateur and lost girl set to the tune of hilarity. Lots of verbal blunders and mishaps that feel familiar in their nature, be it by yourself or someone you know. Nobody wants to think they're Claire, but we all have a little bit of her in us. Lost, insecure, and not sure of what the right thing to say it.
Micaela Wittman carried the film with ease from start to finish. I am excited to follow her career, as I think she is a rising star. I haven't seen a performance this funny since Steve Carrell in The Office and I can't wait to see what she does next. Consider me a fan!
Voyagers (2021)
Go see!
Don't listen to all the negative press - this is the only decent movie to come out post covid. It's not the greatest movie of all time but it is unique, sincere, entertaining, and not hollow cash grab like most things being made. If you and your family/friends are choosing between this and Godzilla, it's no competition!
The Hunt (2020)
Disappointing more people aren't seeing this
This is the first movie I've seen in, honestly YEARS, that wasn't boring for a second. It constantly keeps you on edge, subverting expectations frequently, in ways that haven't been done before. It was unique, clever, and very entertaining. It brought to light some of the ridiculousness of the political climate, making fun of people on both sides. My theory is, that's what makes it isolating, although if more people could get out and see it, I'm sure the reviews would go up.
There is clearly something brewing in the air.
Between this, and Joker, a revolutionary time is on the brink. Elites want to keep this movie quiet, because there's so much truth to it. Open your eyes, look at how we're being taken advantage of. Let this movie in. Despite the painful truth of it, it's really, really fun.
Shout out to the director, and the lead actress. I'd give her an Oscar if the Oscars weren't so calculated. Unfortunately, this movie doesn't have a chance at the Oscars. But, amazing work nonetheless. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!
American Bistro (2019)
Heartfelt father/son duo!
This film is truly heartwarming with unique comedic stylings. I was shocked to find out the two leads are real life father and son. Definitely fits my criteria of a fun, entertaining, unique film!
Us (2019)
Very bad
Bad acting, boring & unorginal dialogue, predictable horror tropes, MAJOR plotholes, stupid characters. Felt like a first draft.
Peter Rabbit (2018)
2 hours of perfectly choreographed fun
I had to write a review (so much so that I sifted through IMDB's terrible design for this movie) simply because of how much fun it brought me, with the hope that I can sway even one person who is on the fence about seeing it.
I don't know anything about the original Peter rabbit, so there. I can't say anything about that, but as a standalone film it was superb! My favorite animated film in years. Because it didn't feel like just a film, it felt like an event. It wasn't just a series of things happening. It was 2 hours of perfectly choreographed action, jokes, and shenanigans. The song choices got me pumped and they all went perfectly. On top of that there was a great and unique "moral of the story" which I wasn't even expecting.
I just wanted to appreciate all the people who worked on this film because there's so much garbage out there these days and easy ways to make money on films while putting in minimal effort, but there really was a beating heart here. So thanks!
The Big Sick (2017)
Lame
This movie isn't good. It's not funny. It's a mastabatory bit of work from kumail and only gained ground because it's a hot topic in Hollywood right now. Besides that, it's not smart or entertaining and really doesn't even deserve an in depth review. (I'm disappointed that it's received accolades, sorry for my virtiol.)
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)
Confused film, nothing special
The good: performances by Caleb Landry Jones, Sam Rockwell, and Lucas Hedges (despite not having much screen time.) There were some moments that were pretty cool and did some new things, but overall this film isn't worth much.
It is basically a string of mean people going along and doing mean things, to no end. Nobody learns anything, the little growth that does occur is quite forced, and a lot of it doesn't seem very grounded in reality.
The tone is confused, bouncing back and forth between Nickelodeon comedy and a dark drama, making it hard to take seriously. Woody Harrelson seemed to care so little about his voice-over work in the middle of the film, but that's understandable when the writers didn't seem to care much either.
The editing wasn't great and offered unclear communication at times. I don't know who picked Abbie Cornish for this, or anything, as she is an exceptionally poor actress.
I think we're supposed to be emphasizing with the main character, but that's hard to do when she's a callous wrecking ball. Making a film about a parent dealing with trauma of this nature is a great premise, but there's a certain humanity lacking.
I disconnected with this film when she didn't take the billboards down the moment her friend got arrested. I assumed it was a given- how could you let your friend rot away in jail while this futile ploy of yours is the single cause? And how was the friend OK with that upon being released? This is not a strong person, this is a petty and immature person who is seeking solace purely for selfish reasons. It is also completely overlooked that she is harming her still-alive son throughout the course of all this.
Finally, we have one scene with Mildred's daughter, who is the cause of all events that take place in the film. Not only was the actress incapable of carrying this scene, but it was also hard to believe she was the daughter of Mildred.
Overall, an unaware film that seemed to try to be catering to the current political climate.
Collateral Beauty (2016)
It was great! As a comedy.
I am saddened and concerned that humanity could be tricked into liking this movie. If I was someone who actually experienced the death of my child, I would have been outraged while watching this idiocracy of a film.
The contrived bits of "insight" were of less value than something that would come out of the mouth of a five year old. The title of the movie was thrown in with no purpose or sense to it. The twists and turns were apparent from a mile away.
ALSO, PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS A GIANT PLOTHOLE?
If at the end of the whole thing, the actors playing death love and time are indeed abstract and invisible to most people, than what was the point of that entire plot to get Will fired?
The private investigator didn't think these people were crazy too? What about the guy they hired to digitally remove them from the footage? (Which also wouldn't have even been possible from the angles the P.I. was shooting from) I'm sure he would've loved to reconstruct the entirety of Will Smith's body, except of course for the fact that there was nobody there in the first place. Imaging Kate saying "oh yeah, riiiight there. That woman in the blue dress. Oh. There's ACTUALLY NOBODY THERE? INTERESTING!"
Such a cheap sell. All of this movie. Bad. Bad bad bad. I am so sad that people found some sort of message in this pile of dung. I could continue to go on about all the issues in this movie. But I will leave it at this. Please people, I am begging you, don't hold the bar so low. We can encourage some amazing, moving, beautiful, emotionally intoxicating films. They do exist. This is not one of them.
Look up Neil Breen if you want to watch a movie of this caliber that's actually enjoyable.