Reviews

I don't know what to write here. I just...don't. It is....just...

No Reason

Weirdest darn thing ever in the universe, but, somehow its a good movie? I have no idea how the heck to describe what I just saw.

Weird, insane, stupid, entertaining, baffling, Ridiculousness to the extreme.

What the holy heck was that???????????????????????? No reason no Reason No reason

I do not understand it, but you kind of do, sort of almost explained a little bit sometimes.

Also, good gore and a decent naked butt.

Yes, I'm only giving this a 4/10 but I still enjoyed watching this movie, and if crappy horror movies are your thing, then you'll have to watch this too.

Anyway, there really, really, really needed to be more boobs in this movie - there wasn't any! The main character girl appears kinda sexy in some scenes, but that's it. She wears the exact same clothes during a large portion of the movie too, its weird, it clearly was a few days in the film and she still is wearing the same clothes, idk wtf up wit dat.

Also, it would have been better with a lot more gore, there really isn't any until the end. And her voice gets really annoying. The worst part by far is the guy who played Russell, wow he sucks! His acting is by far the scariest thing in this movie.

Spike Lee gets a bad rap. Why? Because he's a black guy that can think critically. Therefore he pisses many people off, black and white. Usually that makes for some good art, this film is no exception.

Watch this movie if you want to watch a film that deals with 'deep meaning of racial issues.' Movies like "Crash" and "The Help" are disneyfied ignorant simplistic garbage. Watch some of Spike Lee's other films from this period too. This guy has it, white people that make Hollywood movies like "Crash" and "The Help" don't. Yes, you do actually have to be from the group that has been denigrated to describe that experience in an art form.

He doesn't brow beat you with "racism is bad" or "white people are evil" messages. He's just a good director, writer, thinker and storyteller that doesn't dumb anything down. Most, if not all, movies coming out of Hollywood that are trite garbage.

This movie is quite bad. You will know this upon watching the first few minutes, its obvious and has all the hallmarks of a stupid, poorly made, low-budget crapfest:

Awful acting, completely insipid, contrived dialogue, poor cinematography, etc.

This movie really sucks and IMDb has got to start getting rid of the idiots who makes these movies then come on here and write fake positive reviews.

The plot is something about a bunch of stupid people with really fake accents find a house and some zombie mutant thing comes after them...eventually, they first have to have the MOST INANE dialogue ever for most of the movie!

This is one of the worst action movies I have ever seen in my life. I grew up watching Schwartznegger movies, so I know a horrible action movie when I see one.

These men, let me correct that, these senior citizens, need to retire and never make a movie ever again. It will be interesting to see what kind of non-human creatures Sly Stallone and Mickey Rorke turn into as time goes on. Its so obvious in this movie how messed up their bodies are in real life. People in their 60s are not suppsosed to look like they do. I don't even know how to describe them. Those two have cut and lifted and filled with plastic every inch of their skin, injected tons of steroids and HGH and god only knows what else. Their is no way they live another year or two - Oh, I'm sure they will be alive, or at least animate, but "alive" in a human sense? I seriously doubt it, at least when that happens Stallone will have an excuse for the ridiclious way he talks.

I have no idea what this movie was really about, and neither do any of the people who made or were in this movie.

Randy Couture - The only person involved with this movie who is worthy of respect. However, I respect Couture as a man, and as an athlete, but not as an actor. Can't say I blame him for wanting to make a good deal of money without getting punched in the face but HOLY JEBUS is he a bad actor! I started laughing before he even uttered a line of dialogue, just his facial expressions betrayed his downright awful "acting" skills.

There are many reasons many people will not like this film. Most of these people are my fellow moronic Americans with the attention spans of gnats and the intelligence of rocks.

If you're looking for a horror movie and you pick this up, you probably wont like this, and that I can actually understand, it helps to know of this movie going in. Its different, doesn't have blood or gore, and very little nudity with no lame, constant music.

If you actually read books, understand that there was a decade called the 1970s and films looked different then (because no digital technology existed), and also understand there are people and places that exist outside of 'merica (in this case a French couple in a European cemetery), then you might be able to like this movie.

If you are a fan of Rollin, then you do need to see this too. If for not other reason than it breaks from the Rollin's tradition of vampires and 2 girls. The female lead is captivating and sexually charged, you can't keep your eyes off the babe, or the beautiful french words that flow from her mouth. But what is totally brilliant and masterfully done here is the whole movie pretty much just consists of 2 people in 1 location.

So, if you like MTV, don't bother with this movie.

First off, if you are an animal rights activist, vegetarian, vegan, member of PETA or anything like that, then you'll want to stay very far away from this and any movie made by Italian directors in the 70s with the world 'Cannibal' in the title. This is because this film, like just about every other 'Cannibal' 70s movie, shows actual animal deaths, and just crazy stuff in general with live animals.

Of course, things like a Boa constrictor killing and eating a monkey are actually natural, as animals (and native tribes) killing animals occur in nature, but don't tell that to a PETA member, their brain will explode from the logic.

Anyway, with the true horror that happens in this film, this is actually a good, well made movie. Considering they filmed the whole thing in the jungles of Sri Lanka is amazing - the cinematography is excellent, so it the camera work. I can't even imagine how difficult of a production this would have been. For as insane as a premise this, or any 'Cannibal' movie is, it was overall a really coherent plot, and was full of horror.

This is an excellent horror movie.

If you are a Fulci fan, then you do need to see this, for if nothing else to get a sense of the different types of movies he's done. Its definitely not as good as Fulci's best movies he's known for. However, if you're not a Fulci fan, this probably isn't your cup of tea. Unless you like sex comedies from the 1970s, then you also need to see this film.

As far as the sex goes its actually rather tame. The controversy when this was released really comes from the depiction of the Catholic Church. Its actually a pretty good commentary on religious suppression of normal human sexual feelings.

Beware, the dubbing is typically awful.

This film is gorgeous, stunning, thrilling and (in some parts) stomach turning. A true masterwork, and a true horror film.

This movie is visual, a lot of meaning told through color, hue, and indirect lighting. The camera work is beautiful. ALL modern directors, especially every modern horror hack, should really try to freakin learn something from Argento.

The red signifies blood, of course. But not just death, but life as well, the dichotomy that is blood - as lifeforce and death when blood is lost from the body. At some points the main character is bathed in indirect green light - sickness. Yellow windows with red centers - the heart. Perhaps, that's just my thinking on some of the visuals in Suspiria.

The sets are stunning. Stunning. The death scenes truly horrorific, and the music is nothing short of superb.

OK, so you've probably heard of Count Dracula, and Vlad the Impaler, but there is more to the history of the Vampire.

In Romania the myth of the Vampire is as old as the hills. The people there really did feel a need to put a wooden stake through the heart and cut off the head of the recently dead who they suspect might be a vampire.

Of course this and every vampire movie owes a debt to Bram Stoker. And this movie also obviously just rips the look of 'Nosferatu' for the main vampire guy - but he looks freaking great! And the special effects at the beginning with how he snaps off his fingers is really well done and cool and creepy disgusting.

This is a good movie. Its filmed in Romania, at a real castle. The plot is interesting, this is as good as anything Anne Rice has come up with. I'm looking forward to watching the sequels.

Evil Bong II: King Bong Do you like marijuana? Do you like stupid movies about evil bongs? Do you like boobs? Then this is the movie for you! However, despite that, obviously this was not a good movie. If you don't know that going in, you're an idiot.

Unfortuantly there is no gore in this movie, no one gets killed. I say unfortunately because there is definitely bad acting in this movie and I would have really enjoyed watching at least one or two of these people get killed off.

Thankfully, there are many fine set of breasts on display in this movie.

I basically love any and all movies Full Moon releases, so yea I liked this movie. I like that it was set on at a movie studio - obviously one just like Full Moon.

This was campy fun, with some gore, and a nice stupid twist right at the end. Oh, and it also had a dose of Satanism! Which, for me, anyway is something that is near and dear to my heart. In a way, this whole movie is kind of a spoof of Full Moon productions. It also touches a lot on the whole internet driven movie fandom as well as what its like to run a low-budget movie house. Oh, did I mention there is a crazy gingerbread man running around killing people? That alone makes this 100% of awesome.

I LOVED this movie! Don't get me wrong, 4/10 is a fair score, it doesn't deserve higher, but still, I loved this movie! And this movie is not terribly made - low-budget horror filmmakers should take note on the movies Full Moon releases, this is how you do it.

The interesting thing is it has Gary Busey in it, which provides some star power. Then I started to wonder, how is Gary Busey a known actor? What do I know him from/what films he famous for? I couldn't think of an answer, and I'm too lazy to look here on IMDb, so I just don't care.

Anyway, since he's completely totally nuts in real life, he fits his role here well. The actual 'Gingerdead man' running around, and killing people - sheer awesomeness!

I just love those demonic toys! I always will. There is just something so nice and heartwarming about a doll coming alive and killing people.

I never watched 'Dollman' or 'Bad Channels' which are the other two movies this movie is a cross-over between. Actually, I saw part of Dollman a while ago, so I was familiar with it.

Anyway, if you like Horror B-Movies, you will want to see this movie. If you like movies made by Full Moon then this is necessary viewing.

Anyway, the plot consists something of a female cop helping Dollman and his equally small female companion. For some reason the demonic toys are there and they kill people. You know, you're standard fare, great stuff, I love it.

For a zombie movie, and for a movie with as ridiclious as a title as this one, this was a good movie! Not just 'so bad its good' it was a good horror movie! If you find zombies ridclious and unbelievable, then you wont like this.

But everything was well done. Annoying characters, but no real bad actors (not great, but by horror film standards they were good), good gore, good direction, DP and such. I was surprised this movie actually attempted a plot, it was a pleasant surprise.

Overall, this movie was better done in every way than 'Snakes on a Plane'

This is a well made film. Not just a good horror movie, although its that too.

The CG was not as bad as I've heard. Its used to add some blood to some things, and its use wasn't so bad to make you want to rage or write and open letter to Romero like some idiots have done.

I'm not sure what the naysayers want. Zombie movies aren't everyone's cup of tea, so if you don't like zombies of course you wont like this. Those that like Romero, zombies and horror movies and don't like this film - well those people are idiots. Lets see, Survival of the Dead had a plot with well developed characters, good direction, really nice cinematography. Other horror movies with similar budgets suck, a lot. At least this cast could actually act. It was an interesting continuation of following how a few groups of people fare once the Zombie apocalypse occurs.

For people that don't like the lack of continuity for all of Romero's 'Dead' films I say to you know better! First of all all the 'Dead' films span over 40 years in making them, and secondly that's part of the oddity of these films, Romero has intentionally never tried to keep anachronisms out of the overall timeline of when all the various films take place. Thus you see Laptops and wireless internet in this film even though it's set "six days after the dead began to walk" from the first film, which was made in 1968. Its a horror movie about Zombies, get over it, its a good well made movie.

The evil toys totally make this movie, there is something about them I really really like. If you don't like horror movies, b-movies and all that, then why you watching this movie? Of course you wont like it. However, this was a decently made low-budget movie.

Other makers of low budget horror should really take note, this is how its done. A small cast, with actual characters, gore, one setting (the Italian castle).

The acting wasn't that great, but what do you expect? This was a fun movie, and the plot with Devotello or whatever it was called, was cool. That and I just loved that killer baby!

Horrible movie, just plain AWFUL. This movie sucks almost worse than Titanic. Almost. Not only is the acting bad, but you quickly grow to hate the actors as well, all of them. The cinematography is also absurdly bad. The worst of all is probably the sound. Obviously the idiots that made this crap have idea what in the sam hill they're doing. The movie sounds awful! Every single person that appears in this film is obviously an idiot in real life too. If you were to find the stupidest people you could find, then hit them in the head with a hammer 20 times, then you would get close to how stupid the people are in this movie. This movie sucked a lot in many ways. Really, really, really bad and awful.

If you want to learn about film-making, you should watch this awful movie, you'll see horrible film-making and learn a lot.

For example, why in the holy hell was the camera up the nose of every actor? Every scene, every shot, the camera was all up in their grills.

And, hello...makeup?! Like other reviews have mentioned - these people are ugly! UG-LY! Some standard movie make-up would have helped at least a little bit, but its so obvious whoever maxed out their credit cards and blackmailed a distributor to get this film made and released had no idea what in the hell they were doing.

There is nudity in this film, but holy hell, trust me you probably don't want to see it. Ugly girls, one who looks like a butch lesbian. Now, the one that looked like a lesbian kind of had a nice body, but once her and her friend got naked, it really wasn't all that nice too look at. And the plot/acting/etc ... ??? Uh...yea, I just am not going to try to even understand how the hell were supposed to believe people act like this.

Did Winnie Cooper owe someone a favor or something? This sucked, big time. All these people need to be torn apart by a chainsaw. This movie FAILS in everything it tries to do and needs to die. The only redeeming quality is the gore and the killings - but those are few and far between, which is really stupid. I'm watching this crappy movie on Hulu right now, I REALLY want the stupid Gaysian and blonde to be hacked to bits. Like NOW, he's freakin singing Fame while the blonde pisses in the woods, classy. Ow, this is bad i have to turn this off. If you are thinking about watching Hack! I recommend you don't. Really, just go watch some old episodes of The Wonder Years instead.

If you can tell by my name, I've seen a LOT of bad movies. I seek them out, for fun, to watch them and write reviews on here. I had no idea Twilight was one of them.

In many of the awful movies I watch, at least I get the pleasure of watching stupid characters/actors getting brutally killed by the slasher or something. Unfortuntly, none of that happened in Twilight.

Plain and simple, if you are not a 12 year old girl, then this movie is not for you. This movie was ONLY made for 12 year old girls. It really, really sucks. Films like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings may have been made for a certain segment of the population that they are geared for, yet those films still are able to appeal to a wide variety of people because they are so good. Twilight, is utter stupid insipid garbage. If you not a 12 year old girl and you like this movie, you should really just remove yourself from the gene pool and donate your body to science, that way at least you will have served some purpose.

The first time I tried to watch Twilight, I only lasted about 17 minutes. I got to the point where Edward and What's her name (I forget, and don't care) see each other for the first time in biology class. WHAT the hell was with that scene!??!?! They just sit there and stare at each other, there is nothing else going on... Oh, it supposed to be so emotional and how they feel.... It's not, its done very, very stupidly and poorly. This is an immature stupid bad film that has high production values. The production values are the only good thing about this movie, but the acting, the actors, the script, the dialogue, everything is puerile crap. And yes, if you like this movie, you are an idiot. Its not just that you have bad taste, its that you are stupid. And worthless to human society. Go drink some tainted blood.

I LOVE the original Wicker Man. It was really, really cool, and I saw it when I was going through this phase when I was obsessed with Paganism. So, when this remake came out, I knew I would see it. I figured it'd probably not be that great, and when I realized it had Nicholas Cage in it, I figured it wouldn't be that great at all. Boy was I right! Ouch! This movie SUCKS! S U C K S! Do yourself a favor, and no matter what you have to do go find the original film and watch it. It's Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better in every way. Nicholas Cage is awful, this movie is stupid, plodding crap. Man was this just awful, don't bother.

If you happen to love the original, stay far, far away from this crap.

For a crappy low budget movie, not bad. But it's still a crappy low budget movie. I appreciated the plot and story. This movie actually had one, most horror movies of this type usually barely even try. I also was actually impressed with the special effects, for the budget, they did a good job, didn't look stupid.

This movie also had those two low-budget horror movie mainstays: Gore and tits! I liked the blood and guts gore, and I also liked the nudity. That is basically the whole point of any horror movie anyway. That is basically the whole point of any horror movie anyway. That is basically the whole point of any horror movie anyway.