Reviews

It is supposed to be a horror-comedy but there is no comedy in it whatsoever! What there is in it is one very long list of unanswered questions and here are just a few of them:

If the jock's (Curt's) Uncle owns the cabin then how did the scientists and the organisation they work for get in there to put cameras everywhere inside and out around the cabin? If the Uncle works for the organisation then why would he have allowed them to stay How would he have not known about what was going to happen when they go there? What is the organisation? How did the organisation know that the ones going were just what they needed? How did they get the undead family to kill them in the correct order? If it weren't down to them then how did the undead know the correct order to kill them in? How is it that the students don't bleed like a person would? How is it that the students appear to be immune to serious injury? Why does the film not make it obvious who is which character? the only one that was was the stoner. Why later in the film are the characters of the jock and the nerd swap with each other? How could the virgin possibly be a virgin when she was seeing a collage professor for some extra curricular activities? Seeing as how she's not actually a virgin, how would sacrificing her last to save the world make any difference? I could keep going with even more questions that this stupid film leaves unanswered but I think that's enough for now!

Honestly, if you want proper, brilliant horror-comedy, watch the three Scream film or for decent horror-comedy the three I Know What You Did Last Summer films. Ok so the three I Know What You Did Last Summer films aren't quite as good as Scream, the second and third films inexplicably got very poor ratings on here and on Rotten Tomatoes. The poor ratings are ludicrous as they are actually rather good meaning/making all six film so massively better than this rubbish!

The first was good, thoroughly enjoyable, even with her dreadful English accent! the second was OK, her dreadful English accent never improved and this the third film? This the third film is really bad on a par with how awful her English accent is! I will say this for it though, for all of the foreigners (mainly Americans) that have attempted an English accent it is better than a lot of others. Better than a lot of others does not mean good and it is not good! the film is about as boring and unfunny as it can possibly get. It is so bad that I am typing this while it is playing on my TV! The whole as-thin-as-it-can-be who's-the-father storyline is preposterous and guess who she ends up marrying?! oh, and you never do find out who the baby's father is but then as she ends up marrying the obvious I guess you are supposed to think he is the father but you never know!

Why do one star reviews or at least reviews that give less than five and sometimes even four stars get buried? Even more so when it is a one-star review! that is what this review is so it will get buried! Natalie Portman is boring thanks to her character being boring as are the rest of the cast and as she is the best of a bad bunch (she must be, she won an Academy Award for the role after all which doesn't mean much as awards are only glorified adverts)! It's an artsy fartsy film that borrows (or should that be steels) from other films I have seen before. Many clichés are strewn throughout the film and the cinematography and directing doing nothing to improve the overall lack of enjoyment in what turns out to be a very confusing film as Nina succumbs more and more to her hallucinations. Nina being a meek, insipid, mild character would never have been given the starring role in a real ballet company and as for her searching for her bad side so that she could get and therefore play the bad swan well the way they went about it was, quite frankly, absolutely ridiculous! The hallucinations become really ridiculous to the point where you don't know if she is still hallucinating at the end or not! And why is she hallucinating anyway? She is not on some type of hallucinogenic drug so why is she hallucinating? If you are exploring your dark side and trying to find it you wouldn't hallucinate while doing! Just yet another stupid thing in the film! so Now some films such as Existenze can end with lots of unanswered questions, personally, I don't think this is one of those films! If you want to waste 108 minutes of your life watch grass grow or paint dry for that long as even that would be more enjoyable than this rubbish!

I have seen so many dreadful films recently, this is yet another one to add to the list! It is veeeeeeerrrrrrryyyyyyyyy loooooonnnnnngggggggg annnnnnnd veeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyyyyy boooooooorrrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg! I cant help wondering if this film isn't (auto)biographical in some way as like his character hadn't really been seen since playing Birdman Michael Keaton hasn't been seen since he played Batman and now he like his character are struggling to become known again. Thanks to this turd winning an Academy award Keaton has succeeded.

I am not surprised this turd won Academy awards as they are basically adverts. How many times have we seen a film that no-one has really heard of or really seen won one of the major awards such as best director and then been re-released because the studio knows people will, as they do, now go and watch it saying things like ' oh it's just won the best director award, lest go and see why. After all, it must be good if it got the award for best director....' Even just being nominated is enough of an advert! In this case they obviously wanted to give Michael Keaton's career a boost. I wouldn't be surprised if Kevin Costner is in a film where he is nominated for and the film wins something next! There is no explanation as to why Keaton's character, (Riggan), can do things such as turn the television off just by pointing at it with his finger or cause books to fly across the room by waving his arms. it is ridiculous! Not one person gave a performance of any note. Zack Galifianakis might as well have not been in the film as he doesn't appear until right near the end for maybe as long as two or three minutes when Riggan is lying in a hospital bed. now I come to think of it, almost the entire film was Michael Keaton the rest of the cast were in it so little that never mind them being called co-stars, they should really be called bit-part stars! I wouldn't be at all surprised if they all did have larger parts but the director and his dreadful directing cut them right back as far as he possibly could in order to reduce the length of the film which thanks to the rubbish he left in is still almost two hours long, it's just not two hours long in an anything good way! This is very much a MUST-NOT-SEE under every circumstance and in every way shape and form film!

I implore you to OK read the good reviews if you really feel the need to but I implore you to ignore them or at the very worst do not believe them! think the (exact) opposite of what the people have typed in the good reviews and you will have some idea as to just how truly awful this film is! The storyline is virtually non-existent, there are strange things that happen through the film that wouldn't happen at all if the writers and animators had looked it through thoroughly before they started making the film, while making the film and just before finishing making the film they would have seen these problems and removed them so that their work wouldn't look sloppy unless of course they wanted their work to look sloppy in which case they did a truly brilliant job! For example, Hiccup comes across an area that after this part we learn is an area protected by the Alpha dragon who keeps the area safe and helps keep all of the dragons there happy. Well in this area when Hiccup first comes across it with his girlfriend (whose character has changed and is now completely the opposite to what it was in the first film, but then everyone's character has changed and so have the way some look!) there are dragon trappers there who surprise surprise blame Hiccup for the damaged caused to their fort/home/living area. Now as the area is protected by the Alpha dragon why is it that the trappers are (allowed to be) in the same area as the Alpha dragon while they are dragon trapping all of the dragons? Surely the Alpha dragon, the king of all dragons (as Hiccup was told he is by his Mother) would have seen them off? but he happily allows them to stay in the area trapping dragons for Drago! It was never explained why they were trapping dragons for him which was another strange thing about the film! Oh and then there's the strange thing where we find out Hiccup is now 20 years and his dragon, Toothless, is as old as him even though four years ago it was a baby! then there is the strange thing where his mother..... Nope I'm not going to go through every single anomaly in the film as there are lots of them, far too many in fact as there shouldn't be any at all! All of the anomalies, the characters' characters changing, some of their looks changing, a plot line that is thinner than a single ply tissue and is extremely and exceedingly boring, characters that if they were not in the film would not make the slightest bit of difference to anything, the fact that it tries to cater for everyone and in doing so ends up not really catering for anyone (ok so it does cater for everyone but only slightly/a little bit in each case, not enough to see the it through to the end) are only a few of MANY problems in this dreadful, dreadful, dreadful sequel! Save yourself the disappointment! DO NOT WATCH THIS GIGANTIC PILE OF ****!

The Call is a dreadful film from start to finish! the only redeeming part is the closing credits as when they appear it means you can finally stop watching this over-long over-clichéd drivel! It has holes in it that are bigger than the Grand Canyon and so many plot inconsistencies you wonder not just how did the rubbish get given the green light to be made but also that having been made why it wasn't put straight into the bargain bin everywhere! A caller calls 911 and tells Jordan Taylor (played by Halle Berry) there is a prowler outside who then breaks into the house. He then breaks in causing her to run to her bedroom and hide under her bed. The call is accidentally cut. Unable to find her, he is downstairs and on the way out when Jordan loses focus and rings her back. Here is the first inconsistency; in a dark house and from downstairs heading out the prowler is able to pin-point where the ringing is coming from and grab her! Six months later Jordan is now a 911 calls teacher and takes over a call from a teen (Casey Welson played by Abigail Breslin) that has been kidnapped. From here on in a police force thicker and more stupid than the Keystone cops cannot find her! After getting Casey to break a rear light and look through the hole so that she has an idea as to where she is being taken. While stuck in the boot with no room to turn round she was able to search the whole boot, find a tin of paint, open it with a screwdriver that just happened to be in there as well, and then pour the white paint through the hole where the light used to be without anyone noticing for ages until eventually just one person did. HOW CAN ONLY ONE PERSON HAVE EVENTUALLY SEEN THE PAINT POURING OUT OF THE BACK OF THE CAR?!?! There was a police helicopter flying overhead that had no thermal imaging because of course if it had the body in the boot would have been seen and then the rest of the ridiculous film would not have been made! There are so many gigantic holes and inconsistencies all of the way through the film and it has such a dreadful ending that for me to type them all and all about them here would take ME far too long as I don't type at all quickly! And as for some moronic reason I always have to type a minimum of ten lines in each review else it will not be accepted and there are more than ten in this one........

I HIGHLY recommend you to see this film no matter what age you are! It has humour and jokes in it by the bucket load that are aimed at children, aimed at adults and aimed at both such as Flint screaming and pointing when in the boat "Aaaaaggggghhhhh there's a leek" and yes there is a leek in the boat but of the food kind!

The storyline at the main page, the page where the list of credits is, is not correct. The way it has been typed makes it sound like Flint's machine has created a whole load of horrific, vile beasts but in actual fact the foodimals it has created are extremely friendly! here is also no mention in the storyline of the eco-system the machine has created, the eco-system in which the foodimals live perfectly happily with each other! The way it has been typed also makes it sound/seem like the world has to be saved from these foodimals, it doesn't! Their eco-system has to be saved from the company Flint goes to work for and it's boss, a man Flint has looked up to his whole life and idolised!

The art work is superb, wonderfully bright and cheerful especially in the eco-system where the creators and artists really went to town! How they thought of the animals is beyond me but oh so very clever!

Please bring on Cloudy With A Taste Of Meatballs 3! I am really looking forward to seeing it!