Reviews

They want their protagonist back

I could do the same with several other anime such as Trigun or Outlaw Star.

Yeah, yeah, "influences" but that's just a cope when it's this blatant.

Why doesn't she go back in time and stop the Barbary pirates then?

Oh, wait, don't answer that question.

You already know the answer, we're just not allowed to say it since it would pierce the prevailing narrative.

Instead we're fed narratives to either try and guilt a specific group (which can be discriminated against with impunity) or make you hate them by justifying going back in time and undoing killing them.

At least Ben Shapiro had the sense to claim to not wanting to go back in time and kill baby Hitler.

Don't think about it

This movie kinda plays it obvious since we all know that if there's ever a world-ending plague it will have its origins in New York City.

I found the story odd because these type of people in real life actually don't have a special education or any deep connection with the environment but instead are overpriced soy Latte sipping urbanites whose education is, at best, a liberal arts degree that set them tens of thousands of dollars in debt, whose diet chronically suffers from B complex deficiency, can't stand natural light, especially light coming from the sun, whose idea of discipline is engaging in vices on a regular schedule, and wouldn't be able to bench half their own weight if their lives depended on it, much less push themselves off the floor.

The previous paragraph isn't meant to criticize people whose lives are like that since that's their own choice, but to criticize this movie's script, which managed to require a suspension of disbelief greater than movies that feature magical mitochondria that grant psychic powers.

Since I tagged this review as containing spoilers I can warn readers that there's a scene with gratuitous Viggo Mortensen phallus. Its only purpose was an attempt at self-serving humor but we know in real life he would (hopefully) be charged with public indecency and probably put on some sex offender registry (unless he claimed some special victim status).

This movie is the film adaptation of John Grisham's A Time to Kill. Some would (inevitably) argue that the book is better but I won't because both are pretty bad. I will make the case for the film being better merely because the acting had more emotion than the novel.

According to Wikipedia "The inspiration came from the case of the rape and assault of 12 year old Marcie Scott and her 16 year old sister Julie Scott. Unlike Grisham's depiction, however, the Scotts were white and their assailant, Willie Harris, was black." which is hilarious when you consider the defense's closing argument "now imagine she's white."

Only in the realm of fiction could the plot of this movie happen.

There's an iconic scene by Samuel Jackson so I'll give it 2 stars.

Part of the reason I wasted my time with this movie was because of the good reviews. After watching it I could only reach the conclusion that all those good reviews exist because no one wants to "look dumb" for not "getting it" (not unlike most of David Lynch and Lars von Trier's corpus of work).

There are reviewers that will promise you some secret metaphorical meaning, but given that the movie is as utterly disappointing and unfulfilling as the "intelligent reviewers" are forthcoming with their promises, I wouldn't hold my breath.

Watch Synecdoche instead.

Funny moments are sparse, while opportunities for the director/screenwriter to remind you that the leads are better liberals than you (regardless of your political persuasion) are bountiful (and exist for no apparent reason).

All in all, the plot was boring, the ending predictable and the supporting actors used (Jon Hamm, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig) had their talents wasted on a trivial plot that barely manages to make anyone laugh or care.

The only real spoiler for this movie is that it's neither funny nor good.