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Reviews
City Dragon (1995)
Rapping Fools = Movie Stars!!!
Where do I begin to comment on such a masterpiece?! This is the funniest kung-fu movie EVER!!! Anyone named MC Kung Fu has my vote, for what, that is a different story. This awful Kung Fu wannabe couldn't fight his way out of a paperback, but the choreographed fighting scenes are historical beyond belief. MC fights everyone and there mother (it looks as if one of the bad guys is Howard Stern, could it be him?). With such characters as Philthy Phil, Ray, and Queen Mary (yes a man!) this is a must have in your cheap DVD collection.
The single best part of this movie is Philthy Phil. The name says it all. He is a rapping fool with a great dance and rap scene with his big hit that no one has ever heard, "Night Swim". What a classic, I hope someone remakes it soon.
This movie is definitely worth watching for a huge laugh.
Moving Target (1999)
I can't wait for the sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bravo!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!! I have seen some incredible low-class movies in my day, but this is the funniest thing I have ever let my eyes grace! Incredible acting, the kung-fu sequences are so complexed they must have taken minutes to coordinate, the red "Kool-Aid" that they use in brilliant, the Casio keyboard banging out some of the greatest tunes by Kenny G. is breathtaking. Jack Steele and Reggie Jackson are the two funniest characters' I have ever seen in a Z-movie in my life. I almost wet myself because I was laughing so hard. I recommend this movie to everyone that likes comedy, but make sure you have a 12-pack of Old Style on hand, you are going to need it!
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)
Brilliance is an understatement....
Brilliance is an understatement as David Worth (Director) has outdone himself and the entire Shark genre. This movie dares to go where no one has gone before, or ever thought of going for that matter! Acting is a Plus 10.
Directing is off the chart. The fake Russian-Mexican accents are in a league of there own. The effects, if you can call them that, are so incredible (For the 1960's) that my heart was pounding everytime I saw the 80' orca come and swallow someone'e boat. Sheer Brilliance!!! The writing is spectacular, with such one-liners that everyone will add to there dating repitore! I hope Nu Image films keeps bringing us more Shark Attack movies, and also check out Spiders and Crocodile, which are also in this caliber!
Deadly Discovery (1992)
Ike Walters, Stetson Avery, You gotta love it!!!
If anyone gives this work of art a negative review they do not know what they are talking about!!! This is one of the greatest movies EVER! The acting of a man at least 7 feet tall, Ike Walters, is enough to say, but I will go on and say more about this masterpiece. Not only does Ike act like a true Shakespearian actor, but he provides us with his own stunts which make any man marvel at his fluidness of mobility. Yes, it's quite amazing what this kind-hearted soul in a giant's body can do. His buddy, that has betrayed him and then joins forces with him again, Stetson Avery, wears the same baby blue Fruit-of-Loom shirt everyday in this suspenseful masterpiece.
The dialogue between these two actors is gripping to say the least. One scene I recall the most is when Stetson (great name!) is telling the worst joke of all time and he and Ike wet themselves after laughing at it for about 5 minutes. Brilliant!!! Rene Dupa, not a French whore but a woman from Honduras, is Ike's and Stetson's love interest in this flick. She sells the drama like no one can. Keep up the good work Rene! THIS IS A MUST SEE MOVIE!!!! Get it in your DVD collection today!
Future Fear (1997)
Good Lordy look out!!!
I don't know where to begin on this "ahead of its time" movie, if you will. Stacy Keach must have still been doing community service while doing this flick. That is the only way he could have signed up for this beauty. He was definitely doing his deed to society. The reference of the Mad Hatter makes no sense at all. Then again, the entire movie makes no sense. But, I will say this about this mega-hit, it is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen in my life. The main actor, Jeff something, is a crazy lunatic actor with some great potential. He alone is worth seeing. It is a great comedy, even though it is not supposed to be a comedy. Worth seeing? You had better reserve it at Blockbuster tonight!