jd-creativeguy's Reviews

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

4/10

25 June 2022

Having seen the original Top Gun in the theaters, and then again multiple times on video over the years, I was excited to hear about the sequel and couldn't wait to see it.

I heard a lot about Maverick and how great it was. But when we went to see it (again, in the theater) I was incredibly disappointed. Perhaps it was my own fault, as I was expecting a completely new movie. Instead, what I saw was virtually a line-by-line, scene-by-scene remake of the original.

Obviously the actors have changed, but the story has not. It's literally a remake, right down to the wardrobe and locations.

If you never saw the original Top Gun, this will be a really decent movie to see. But if you did see it, be prepared to see it again.

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The Requin (2022)

1/10

Un-befreaking-lievable!

24 June 2022

I had no idea how bad an actress Alicia Silverstone actually is. I mean, she's really, REALLY bad in this.

The plastic floating hand rented from a Spirit Halloween store wins best actor award in this movie.

Leaving the horrible CGI aside, the plot was unbelievable, and even if you dismiss that fact, what they did was unbelievable in the context of the unbelievableness.

There are worse ways to spend 90 minutes, I'm sure of that. But nothing comes to mind immediately.

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The Vault (2021)

10/10

Highly entertaining!

6 September 2021

Yes, we've seen the story before. Ocean's 11, MoneyHeist, and a million other movies. Welcome to Hollywood.

The entire story from beginning to end was predictable (see comment above), but it didn't stop it from being highly entertaining and well worth the time invested in watching it.

As a side note, seeing Freddie Highmore in a role like this after a few years of "The Good Doctor" was awesome.

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47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)

1/10

Watching the bimbo actresses in the interview...

25 December 2019

Watching the two bimbos they overpaid to be actresses in this film do the interview was enough to convince me to not watch this film. How do films like this even get greenlit to begin with?

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6 Underground (2019)

9/10

Hey, It's a Michael Bay film... whattaya expect?!!!

15 December 2019

If you love constant action in the form of car chases, explosions, fight scenes, and slow motion gun shots to the head, you're going to LOVE this film!

I was thoroughly entertained by this mindless drivel, and I'm totally serious. Ryan Reynolds plays Deadpool without the costume or the makeup, along with every other character he's ever played, and everyone else comes along for the ride.

You will not fall asleep during this film! You will also not see it up for an Oscar. But that's just fine by me.

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Virgin River (2019– )

8/10

It's Hart of Dixie, but with...

15 December 2019

It's Hart of Dixie, but with a better story that doesn't rely on booger humor, and infinitely better acting. I've only seen half the season, but that's enough to know that this show is what Hart of Dixie should have been, and will be much more enjoyable after the first 4 episodes (unlike Hart of Dixie).

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Daybreak (I) (2019)

2/10

This is just stupid...

26 October 2019

I don't know how else to say it. It so badly wants to be Zombieland, and it is except for the funny. They forgot the funny. This is booger humor, blatantly and thoroughly applied. I made it through 30-minutes of the first episode and just couldn't take it anymore.

The production value is decent though... so there's that.

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The Rift: Dark Side of the Moon (2016)

1/10

Flabernugenmitostupidac

16 September 2018

Makes about as much sense as this "movie." Honestly, this movie is actually worse than a 1-star rating because normally when a movie is this bad, it's a Sci-Fi Channel movie and it doesn't pretend to be be anything more than poor acting, writing, SFX, etc. This abomination actually tried to be a legit movie and failed so miserably that it doesn't even rate as high as those "guilty pleasure" Sci-Fi flicks.

This puddle of Hollywood puke actually showed up on the trending list on Netflix. I can't imagine what it was trending for.

Bad writing, bad acting, bad editing, bad soundtrack/audio effects...

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Bad Match (2017)

8/10

Nothing unique, but still entertaining

26 August 2018

Warning: Spoilers

This plot line has been so many times, and there's nothing really unique with Bad Match. The characters are barely likable, and I had a hard time feeling sorry for the guy to begin with.

***Spoiler*** Anyone could see that they were intentionally not portraying the girl absolutely evil, so that they could provide the "twist" at the end. The only problem is that you could see the ending coming a mile away. I knew the moment he killed her that he was going to find out that it wasn't her that set him up. And I could mostly guess the gamer kid had something to do with it because they put emphasis on the main character berating him.

*** End Spoiler***

All that being said, the movie was entertaining. I'm glad they din't drag it out into a 2 hour movie. They made a predictable story line worth watching, simply because they didn't try to outsmart the viewer.

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9/11 (2017)

7/10

Tense & entertaining, but not spectacular

10 December 2017

I'm not sure what all the negative reviews are about, other than some people expect Oscar-worthy performances, stunning visuals and special effects, and obscenely creative story writing. This film has none of those, but that doesn't mean it's bad.

This was an entertaining film with pretty good acting. The story can't really be that creative, because the entire world knows how this story ends... it's kind of like watching a documentary that has a little bit of "creative license" thrown in to make it watchable—though this film is not a documentary.

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Geostorm (2017)

3/10

This is a sick joke, right?

3 December 2017

Warning: Spoilers

Most disaster movies are bad. I mean, that's why we love them. But this is so damn bad it's not even bad in a good way.

First of all, there's little to no "disaster" in this disaster flick. A few cut scenes is all we get. The story itself is all too predictable, and quite frankly not even acceptable for bad-story-disaster- flicks. The fact that the day is saved and the Butler's character manages to escape disaster on the ISS is just too much.

With this many top-tier actors on board, you would think one of them would have insisted on even a moderate amount of story writing.

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The Resurrection of Jake the Snake (2015)

8/10

Fantastic. Inspiring.

16 September 2017

This documentary is fantastic even if you don't follow pro wrestling and don't know who these people are. If nothing else it serves to inspire everyone who watches to never accept "never."

The saying on Jake's T-Shirt is quite a nice summary of the entire story... "My history is not my destiny."

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The Defenders (2017)

10/10

Awesome. Just awesome.

21 August 2017

If you're a fan of the characters in their individual series, then this is a must-see. I hope Netflix plans on a season 2!

The 'easter eggs' scattered throughout were cool, and the post-credit intro to the next Marvel character to get his own series was a nice bonus. (though we all knew it was coming from the previous appearance)

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Check Point (2017)

1/10

The most wonderfully horrible movie ever made

12 August 2017

I don't know any other way to put it. This movie isn't just bad, it's shockingly bad. It's wonderful in it's horribleness.

The raw acting talent of the foliage on the set are matched only by Mindy Robinson's cleavage.

The special effects are so bad that it makes a low-budget SciFy channel movie look like the latest Roland Emmerich mega flick.

And the dialog, well, I think I can give it a pass based on the assumption that each scene was written by a different person just minutes after the previous scene was shot.

All of this could be forgiven were it not for the fact that the entire story is just disjointed, doesn't resolve anything, and didn't appear to be going anywhere anyway.

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Land Shark (2017)

2/10

Watchable. Barely.

1 August 2017

Warning: Spoilers

Barely watchable. As far as B- disaster movies go, this one is a minor disaster. Like all the rest, the acting is straight horrible. The story is ridiculous, and the effects are barely passable. Other than that it's OK.

------SPOILER-------

How is it that a "helicopter ride just south of town" (when they're in Alaska) is going to save their life, but at the end their flying over the Golden Gate Bridge in S.F. and it's frozen solid?

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The Factory (V) (2012)

7/10

Skip the 'reviews' and just watch it

18 July 2017

I made the mistake of reading a bunch of reviews of this movie, both here and at Netflix. Despite the (mostly) negative reviews, I watched it anyway. I'm glad I did.

Most reviewers bashed the movie with the exception of the "twist" at the end. For me, I saw the "twist" coming very, very early in the movie—and found it the least enjoyable part of the movie— though the way it played-out still surprised me.

This flick was well acted, suspenseful and completely entertaining if you ask me.

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Free Fire (2016)

4/10

I can't believe I watched this whole thing

8 July 2017

Warning: Spoilers

------COMPLETE MOVIE SPOILER---------

Seriously, I can't believe I watched this whole thing. 90-minutes of a dozen or so idiots shooting at each other for 15 minutes and only hitting each other in the leg... despite being only a few yards away. Then an hour of shooting at each other and hitting absolutely nothing. Then the final 15 minutes where they somehow manage to all shoot each other with head shots, or other fatal shots.

And I knew as soon as the last person standing appeared to be getting away with it all, the cops would show up.

I'm absolutely awesome for managing to sit through this entire film. I give it 4 stars because the stupidity of it all was somewhat comical.

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Bachelor Night (2014)

5/10

C'mon, were you expecting Oscar-worthy acting?

3 July 2017

I dunno, maybe I'm crazy but as far as raunchy B-movies go, this one was actually fairly decent. I laughed, I cried, I admired lots of boobs—who had the best roles in the movie, actually. The Vegas cut-scenes thrown in like a truly high-end iMovie user took the cake, baby! Real cinematography genius there. As an added bonus, the music was actually pretty good.

Worth the hour or so of your time to watch, if only for the boobs and the music... but if you were looking for more than that (why would you every need more than that in a movie is beyond me), you're going to be disappointed.

Baaaaahhhh, who am I kidding? The music wasn't that great either.

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47 Meters Down (2017)

7/10

Unrealistic & Predictable, but still worth seeing

2 July 2017

Warning: Spoilers

Look, the movie is completely unrealistic and some of the situations quite absurd—but you kind of know it's going to be that way in any type of movie like this. I don't need absolute realism to enjoy a movie, and if you do then you're going to be disappointed in 99.9% of every movie you see.

PARTIAL SPOILERS:

---------------------------------------------

In this flick, the situation is absurd to begin with. The shark behavior is unrealistic. The decisions the girls make after they get trapped at the bottom in the cage are just stupid. The decision of one of the guys from the boat to jump in the water knowing there are multiple sharks is just silly. And the ending just kind of ticks you off in an inconsequential way.

---------------------------------------------

All that being said, this movie was entertaining, suspenseful and exciting to watch.

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Oceans Rising (2017)

1/10

So god awful bad it's genius

14 May 2017

This gem throws out all factual science, possibility and reality. If you can't completely suspend even limited understanding of what's real, then you're going to absolutely hate this flick.

The script is horrible. The acting is horrible. The direction is horrible. The special effects are horrible. The story itself is completely unbelievable. There's literally a complete lack of anything plausible or redeeming in this film.

It's pure comedic genius if you ask me. If each actor made $500 for being in this film, I would say congrats on robbing the film company for $495 each.

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Nerve (I) (2016)

8/10

Oscar-winning: No. Highly entertaining: Absolutely!

31 December 2016

Warning: Spoilers

I don't understand the negative reviews that comment about the validity of the technology behind the app/game in this movie. IT'S A MOVIE. GET IT?

The plot is nothing new. I've seen two movies in the past year alone that had the same exact plot, with basically the same exact outcomes. That being said, the cinematography in this flick is pretty good, the acting is more than decent, the music is good. Pretty much everything about this movie will make you feel like your time investment was worth it.. unless you were hoping to be surprised.

If you were looking for a twist, or a plot that is anything but predictable and pedestrian, then you're watching the wrong movie. If you're looking for "realism," then you should turn on NatGeo on your TV.

If you simply want to be entertained, then grab the popcorn and enjoy.

Spoiler Alert: C'mon, didn't you just know that Sydney was going to drop that phone, but make it off the ladder? Of course you did.

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