There seems to be a decent story somewhere in this message. But I couldn't make it far enough in. This is one of the worst films I've ever seen. Now I'm just sitting in the parking lot, writing a review while I wait for my wife and kids to exit the movie in about an hour.
Reviews
7 Reviews
Casino Royale
(2006)
Slightly disappointed
13 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Some friends and I went to see this flick last night. This movie is supposed to be Bond's first adventure as a 00. Despite, for being his first adventure it's set in modern times with modern devices and vehicles. This throws one for a loop when trying to figure out the time-line in conjunction with the previous films. One thing that I look forward to most in Bond flicks would be his bad ass gadgets. Of course, these were pretty much nonexistent in this movie. Sure, he has a cool car (only through the last 30 minutes of the movie) and a mini defibrillator. But, that's about it. Speaking of the last 30 minutes of the movie, what in the hell was the director thinking? This movie was 2.5 hours long. However, I found myself getting antsy in the seat after 1.5 hours. I was ready for the movie to end. There were more twists in the last hour of the movie than a M Night Shamalamaringworm film. The director could have EASILY cut this movie down by At least 30 minutes and still had the film flow properly. Ugh, my ass still hurts from watching it. Despite all of the director's shortcomings, the acting was superb. Daniel Craig played a perfect bond. The chemistry between Craig and Eva Green really made for some emotional moments. Mads Mikkelsen portrayed a perfect evil villain. It's pretty sad that the director botched this film with his indecisive way of movie making.
I give this movie a 6.5/10
((If anyone wants to import this movie into a movie editor and trim the movie down to 1.5-2 hours, I'd easily give it a 7-7.5))
I give this movie a 6.5/10
((If anyone wants to import this movie into a movie editor and trim the movie down to 1.5-2 hours, I'd easily give it a 7-7.5))
It's all about the money
10 July 2006
I really cannot comprehend how this movie could possibly have a 7.9 on IMDb. I would go as far to say that this movie was WORSE than The Village (which I also hated). The story picks up a bit after the last movie left off, which is probably the only good thing about the movie. After the intro, he just goes horribly wrong. The plot feels like it's pulled and twisted just so that they can stretch this movie to an uncomfortable 2.5 hours and leave the story open at the end so they can make 4 or 5 more of these atrocities. The number of plot holes created from this warped directing style just adds to the confusion of why I actually bought a ticket in the first place. Maybe, it was because I liked the first movie and expected the 2nd to not be absolute junk. I can honestly state that I will never watch another Gore Verbinski movie, seeing that having his name stamped on a movie must mark it as manure.
You've bested me this time Gore Verbinski and taken me gold, it will not happen again!
You've bested me this time Gore Verbinski and taken me gold, it will not happen again!
18 Fingers of Death!
(2006 Video)
Shoot me now
12 April 2006
This movie is absolutely horrible. Let me clarify, the first 20 minutes that I forced down were absolutely horrible. This movie is about as interesting as air. It's sad that it compares itself with Kung Fu Hustle. Using the same font and graphics layout as the Kung Fu Hustle DVD did. Don't be fooled. This is just a wanna-be decent movie hiding beneath a decent cover and some huge martial artists who aren't even given decent rolls. If you want to see a good funny martial arts movie check out: Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, or any other Stephen Chow film. This movie doesn't even compare to Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. I like stupid movies, but the movie still needs to be entertaining.
Zombie Planet
(2004 Video)
Disappointed
1 October 2005
Once a month, I invite a few friends over for a "Retarded Movie Night". We look forward to movies that are either so bad they're funny or movies that know they don't have a plot and just show a lot of chests. Last night, we were unfortunate enough to have Zombie Planet as one of our movies. The cinematography is on par with what we're used to, but the acting was a different story. The lead role is played by a Johnny Depp/Rob Zombie wanna-be who couldn't get a role in a high school play, let alone a LOW-BUDGET horror film. Our indecisive hero, who couldn't tell whether or not he wanted to be a bad-ass this scene or a whimpering coward was one of the reasons why this was the first movie of 30 that I have ever had to stop early during a Retarded Movie Night. It had the possibility for greatness with a GREAT twist on the standard zombie infection, but they took it an entirely different direction based on Johnny Zombie. I personally would not recommend this to any of my friends. However, it's unfortunate that I already invited a few over last night to suffer through 80% of this movie with me.
The Village
(2004)
what a shame
26 August 2004
What a shame that IMDb doesn't let you vote lower than one. I was quite excited to give this movie a rather handsome negative number. During the movie, I found myself day dreaming of beating my penis with a hammer. The hammer beating would definitely have been more entertaining. I'm quite sure, that it would have entertained the other movie-goers as well. Why didn't the blind girl run into more stuff, that would have been funny. I like seeing the handicapped tortured. At least this movie didn't have the shaky-camera like most of the newer action movies out there. Due to that, I can justify my forceful giving of a 1 to this lame and predictable film. Please help me rock the vote, and lower this junk pile to where it belongs.
-You're killing' me Smalls.
-You're killing' me Smalls.
Terror Firmer
(1999)
Great film
26 August 2004
Others have said that this film is only for us so-called 'impressionable geeks'. That is fine. I found this flick, very entertaining. I watch it at least once a month with many friends. I generally skips through the intros to get into the movie and I missed a vital part of this film. When the killer rips the fetus out of the mother, I nearly sharted (that's when you think it's a fart, but it's really a juicy poo). This movie is definitely considered a favorite between me and my "impressionable geek" friends. We watch at every LAN party. Lloyd Kaufman you are truly a genius, please continue "churning out" these great examples of classic cinema. I look forward to sharing this with my children one day.
Tell Your Friends