Reviews

Awful. Simply awful. Didn't make sense. Tried to be off-beat funny with a clunky script. The soundtrack should be used in film school exemplifying what not to do. I ready don't want to bag a film made in my own country's industry .... but no one else should lose 90 minutes of time you'll never retrieve!!

Coming to Busselton, West Australia for the Cinefest Oz weekend has been exciting except for one 93 minute time heist; The Legend of the Five viewing. Excruciatingly confusing, boring, ill conceived, badly acted, unoriginal ..... a film lacking any redeeming features. The age group this film is aiming to attract, adolescents, were walking out. I leave this review with a couple of questions ....... why is a reputable film festival including such tosh in their program? And finally, how on earth did this tosh get made?

When a doc about a sporting icon, particularly a motor sporting icon can entertain punters previously not the least bit interest in such subject matter .... then you know it's a winner! Brock: Over the Top is just that doc.

Peter Brock is a legend of Australian Motor Racing, so the appeal will be with Australians first but there is a human interest story behind a man with a will to win but who had frailties so comon for enigma s like Brock.

Love the man, love the doco!

Doogsey.

The opening titles inform us that while the story is fictitious what we are about to view is based on real events. Therefore I'm wondering why the film wasn't re-titled as How Grace Saved Monaco; because that is exactly the story told in this version and dare I say it, in Hitchcockian Style.

The strengths of this short tale (88 mins) are also it's weaknesses. Audiences will be divided because those who come wanting an overview of a dearly loved princess's ideal life will be disappointed. But for those wanting a film depicting a legend and her possible trials and tribulations, through a short period in her life will find it fascinating. Oh, and if your French, I don't think you'll be happy, but then it is told through American eyes. Watch out for McNamara's sickly throwaway line to DeGaulle late in the film.

Kidman is lovely, but plays Nicole as Grace. I'm not sure Grace had that wandering eyebrow though. Tim Roth plays the insignificant prince, he's serviceable but not mesmerising. And then there are others but it is not their film.

Now about the Hitchcockian style; well that's the thing, I don't want to give anything away! It's worth a look but don't get your hopes up !!

Last Paradise is a boys own adventure story which screams out "look at us everyone". It tries to convince us that Adventure sport came from New Zealand and the film makers connections and mates were the instigators. Bungy jumping, wind surfing and even board surfing oh and I nearly forgot Jet Boating to name a few ......

In my opinion the film is clumsily edited, it is mottled together to give us a lesson in earth preservation, a history of adventure sports and a strange reference to a chap called Rutherford who was light years ahead in his thinking on fusion as an alternative energy fuel.

There are some great clips from the past; aging baby boomers are going to love the nostalgia on show but generally the film wears thin ........ The message is just too repetitive. Given all of that, if you know any of the aging boys then go see it ...... You'll have much to smile and nod about!!

I can understand why Diana might be a disappointment for most.

If one is after a detailed portrait of "The Loneliness of the Disaffected Princess" then this film will only partially fulfill.

If, however, one is after a simple, easy to watch love story about the affair so well hidden from the public eye in the 18 months prior to her sudden death, then fulfilled you shall be.

The disappointment for me came from the fact Diana's director, Oliver Hirschbiegel, created Downfall, the depiction of Hitler's final days. The film was an Oscar nominee, a deserved reward for its depth. Diana is his first foray into a love story. He talks of his research coming from the 2004 inquiry and The Kate Snell book of the affair. I suggest that the details coming from those sources was light and frothy.

The film is pleasant enough with a shallowness to match a children's wading pool, but as I say, it depends on what you are expecting. Oh, and Naomi Watts is lovely but not quite as beautiful as The Princess we remember!

I'am such a fan of Muriel's Wedding. I consider it the complete coming of age comedy, not only for Muriel herself but for Australian Comic Cinema as well. P.J Hogan provided us with a gem.

While watching Mental I couldn't help but wonder if P.J. was just trying to revisit the wondrous experience of 15 years ago and expecting it to be just a exhilarating. So much of the colour and strangeness of characters were evident. He must have been disappointed.

Sadley Mental falls well short of Muriel's. So far short that I didn't even have to rake the long jump pit. There were no foot marks.

It is not that the characters don't bring something to the film, most of the cast is terrific, it is the muddled plot and complicatedness of the character interactions which causes most disappointment.

Toni Collette (Shaz) tries hard to bring Mental out of it's intoxicated trance but nothing can save this "stinker"; not even methane and lighter fluid.

I hate it when a promo for a film depicts it as hilarious when there is hardly a trace of original humour to be seen.

This film is a "dog". It tries to capture the essence of 4 Weddings and a Funeral using many of the charismatic qualities that Death at a Funeral displayed so well and Failed.

Olivier Newton John really does look exceptional for a near 70 Year Old but surely here agent could allow her to finish her acting career on a high. Like Xanadu she has turned up in a "fizzer"; and she doesn't even do what she does best, sing, in this one.

Actually, perhaps I'm not qualified to discuss this film; I looked at my watch 50 minutes after the opening titles and with a relieved sigh from my wife decided it's inane dialogue and "try hard" slapstick humour was taking too much of my time. I left.

If you would be happy outlaying $$$ to see this co Australian & British product then try it for yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you !!

This is a more intelligent film than you might think.

I nearly didn't go to see Somewhere. People who'd seen it suggested I'd find its long winded nature, irrelevant. I'm so glad I decided to see it.

This intelligent film took us on the same ride that our key character was embarking on. From the first scene as we stand stationary watching a car circle a circuit aimlessly we begin to experience the monotony of Johnny Marco's life.

We sat through whole episodes of amateur pole dancing, done reasonably well, so that Coppola could drag us through the point she was trying to make. Hey, you don't recommend a film like this to many people because most people like film to entertain, to have a beginning a middle and an end.

Somewhere had a turning point, the arrival of his daughter, and a conclusion, the electronic beep of Johnny's car ignition. That is when it was headed elsewhere.

And just maybe his life was headed in a more entertaining direction but Coppola would see that as another film; but not necessarily one to be made by her.

You see, many couples in Australia would never dream of seeing a therapist. The mere stigma of owning up to issues, issues most couples experience, is just too confronting. The worry that friends or family might find out may lead too more sleepless nights, a more important consequence than the actual saving of the marriage. Well in the privacy of ones own home comes "Tell Me You Love Me". A riveting drama more akin to a self - help DVD. We meet a therapist confronting her own problems, deal with the contrasting issues of three couples. The clever positioning of the drama is that the ages of each couple ranges from early 20's to early sixties (the therapist and her past) and the challenges faced by each reflect their stage of life. Sex becomes the key to the healing for each partnership. The sex scenes are explicit and may be confronting but that adds to the spice of the series. The sex experienced by all of the characters helps them to reveal where they are at emotionally. The therapist encourages sexual communication for all her clients but under prescription,and each of her prescriptions are modeled with precision. An important piece of television ...... if you have a partner, sit and watch this together. If the themes bring fresh thoughts and dialogue in your union then maybe you've saved two things. Therapist fees not covered by Medicare or maybe, but more importantly, your relationship.

This is serious "crap" from Kevin Smith. Clerks and Chasing Amy marked lively, comic film making ground for Smith but since those heady times his artistic creditability has slipped. Zack and Miri Make a Porno tries too hard, then looses all creditability by trying to give the film a soul but we can see it coming and when it does arrive we are bored out of our brains or fast asleep. Smith still tries to shock us but in the new era of comedy Sacha Baron Cohen does it better. I'm wondering if I'll bother with the next Smith effort. Clerks and Chasing made me laugh in the 90's. I find it difficult to laugh with Smith now, one decade on.

How wonderful that Australian drama takes a few risks. Certainly since the U.S influence of HBO series such as The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Deadwood and Oz, Australians are demanding richer experiences from the small screen. In Satisfaction they surely get just that. With the advent of pay TV production houses, in this case Showtime, we get to experience the lives of people in the work place. This time the work place is unconventional. Its a brothel and while many would envisage sleaze as an undertow, sleaze it definitely isn't.

The acting pool in this country is indeed deep and the performances of these particular professionals as they deal with topics and scenes that mere mortals would find very uncomfortable is captivating. With few exceptions every scene in this series is convincing and we believe in the view we get of this slice of Australian life.

For those still not convinced they could take this home to either their wife or husband; my experience may be of interest. On placing the series on the kitchen bench in front of my wife she did comment on my choice being a little male orientated,that she wasn't surprised and that it really didn't appeal to her. I suggested she give it 15 minutes; if there was no interest then so be it. We finished the series in a week. I've not heard a word about typical male behaviors since.

The first two episodes are directed by Ken Cameron. This Australian director has, in my opinion, always been underrated. His work on this series is compelling and forms the platform by which this series builds the momentum which allows it to succeed. Don't be shy. Ask your DVD shop to get it in. Tell them it will rent like crazy. I did and it does.

This film is a little gem. Take two characters, down on their luck and of different ages, throw them together via sheer coincidence then add a series of spices in the form of insecure, nasty villains with just a taste of a road trip. We watch this film hoping anyone close to us will never experience the day to day life of the characters we meet. We are but onlookers, knowing that all that unfolds in front of us will not be terribly savory. But as the story unfolds we grow to like both the key characters because they have been forced into their predicament, and while they will be helpless for much of their plight their spirit will hold and eventually ring true. It is nice to be taken for a ride with a script that tells no lies and leaves us with hope. This simple little British tale is a gem. There is a lot to like about this gritty little film.

It annoys me when a film gets a big screen release due to the sole fact that someone has influence .... this film is obviously backed by the author who has more dollars than sense. My annoyance comes from the fact that in a land (Australia) where film continues to take two steps forward then the odd step back a film such as this appears on the billboards of a popular cinema; not a run down DVD/Video store; the poster depicting an off beat comedy. Film viewers may be hoodwinked into thinking this may just be another "Little Aussie Gem".

In the case of "The Crop" they could not have been more wrong. It is a "Crok"; a crok of the worst type of celluloid tripe I have seen in some 5 to 10 years. The characters are desperately unlikable,the plot was obviously never a concern so was thus forgotten and the theme was obviously never quite decided upon even though the film was both cut an placed in the can.

My criticisms are harsh but if there are people reading this who have seen this crok then there is nothing more surer than the fact that they will agree with my utterances. I am however predicting a future for this "Little Not So Aussie Gem".

Yes I'm recommending that teachers, lecturers, media analysts secure a copy, even buy one to use as a tool(but only if you get a tax deduction). A tool to show innocent students and future film makers some outstanding examples of key film making no no's.

How not to devise dialogue which includes contemporary slang when the film depicts another era. How best to audition actors giving them a sense of how their character will shine!

My list is long so I won't go further in case I spoil the plot ... well there never really was a plot but it might spoil something about the education tool. And please don't forget, you should only see this crok if you can influence people educationally in the world of film. Certainly don't waste hard earned dollars in a cinema .. besides your time will be better spent mowing a lawn or planting a seed which might flower but never smoked ...