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hannaht138
Reviews
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
2 hrs of nothing
I love Harry Potter, but this film has none of that charm. I went in with low expectations and it was worse than I thought possible.
Spoilers below
Plot-wise, almost nothing happens, but even what does happen is tough to follow. The main characters make non- sensical decisions. The characters have no chemistry although the movie tries to force relationships. There is one particularly cringe-worthy scene near the end consisting of a drawn out goodbye that just didn't need to happen. Just because you have the two main characters be opposite gender doesn't mean you need to pair them up.
The 'fantastic beasts' in the movie were okay. Nothing truly fantastic though. There are a few cute and amusing moments, but they are overshadowed by how ridiculous the main character acts around them. This guy has been trying to save and protect magical creature for, presumably, years and yet he is incapable of keeping them secure and in order to recapture them runs around like an idiot breaking things? He's an adult, not a 10 year old trying to hide a puppy.
Additionally, one of the "creatures" on the loose is apparently a human who has been traumatized. Uhhhhhh, kinda messed up to treat that character as less than human....and then just kill them and literally no one talks about this. There is no reflection on the part of the characters as to what just happened. It's just "see!!! *Newt's* creatures weren't killing people - it was that freak". Is that really the takeaway?
Not a good movie. Seriously, don't bother.
Californication (2007)
Why does this show have even one season?
I watched the entire first season, waiting for something to happen. It didn't. The characters are dull and I can't imagine anyone having any sympathy for them. Especially the main character. He's just an asshole, but it seems the show is trying *really hard* to get you to like him. Oh, he's so clever when he messes with his ex's life and acts like a spoiled child who can't be bothered to work in life.
As for the plot? Er, nothing interesting happens there either. It could have been interesting, but it isn't. The only mildly interesting bit is the sex in the show, but if that's all you're interested in, watch some porn. The story (or lack thereof) will be better and you'll see more.
Taxi Brooklyn (2014)
Unwatchable - without even considering the plot
I watched the first 10 minutes of episode one and the camera never stopped moving/shaking and it made the chase scene nearly impossible to follow. I'd hoped the shaking would stop after the action, but no. It persisted. I had to stop watching. I switched channels and felt immediate relief, though continued to have a headache. It seems like a silly premise and I gave it a try on a whim, but I would not recommend this to anyone unless maybe you're blind and just listening to it.
Honestly, don't waste your time. There are so many police shows out there that don't actively strive to confuse, disorient, and dizzy you with the camera work. I guess it was an effort to make the show stand out - well it did. Terrible.
Glee (2009)
Just terrible
I think if you tried to write and execute a worse show, it would have to at least be a little humorous on account of sheer idiocy. Glee manages to fall short of being laughably awful while at the same time failing to be genuinely entertaining.
The characters are complete caricatures. Everything seems fake and ridiculous in a boring/irritating way. I usually try to watch several episodes of a show before giving up on it (especially if it is rated so highly by many) but I could not.
Seriously, don't watch this. There has to be something else you can watch. If I could give zero stars, I would.