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Wild Rose (2018)
4/10
Acting: fine. Characters: caricatures. Story: missed it.
3 August 2020
The characters are forever making decisions that no rational human would make. It makes it really difficult to empathise or sympathise with a character when they're sabotaging their own relationships, or disowning their own daughter.

The plot doesn't seem to go anywhere. It's just depressing setback after depressing setback.

The happiest part of the film is when she gets her ankle bracelet taken off: a plot point that seemed to have no bearing on the overall plot.

The acting was fine I guess. Acting is one of those things that you only notice it when it's bad.

Wild Rose will be put into my folder of films with half decent music but no real plot to speak of. Alongside Once, La La Land, A Star is Born & Sunshine on Leith.
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Artemis Fowl (2020)
1/10
I thought I hated it because I'm a fan of the books...
14 June 2020
I thought I hated it because I'm a fan of the books - have been for nearly 20 years - but the more I think about it, the more I get genuinely angry thinking about this film.

Sure it missed some essential parts from the book: "the ritual", "the book", everything that happened in Ho Chi Minh, Angeline Fowl, Etc. (Not to mention the fact that Butler would never allow anyone to refer to him as "Dom") but that's not why I hated it.

The acting was objectively bad. I realise the kids are young, but that's not an excuse. It was as though it was their first time reading the script.

The characters made decisions that no real person would ever make. Holly Short goes from captive to friend in a matter of seconds.

No explanation as to the boundaries/capabilities of magic. No explanation as to how the time stop works or why it's supposed to be such a big deal when it breaks.

We were supposed to be invested when a character looks like they're on the brink of death, but we've been given no reason to care and no reason to think they're actually going to die.

The book gave plenty of explanations as well as more realistic motivations for all of the actions taken.

This film has inspired me to go back and reread the series, as a way of purging the memory of this insult to the books.

This is the worst film I can remember seeing.

I went into this film wanting to love it, especially since I, like many fans, have been waiting nearly 20 years for it. The first 15 minutes was awful. And it only got worse.

The people at Disney need to learn how to tell a story, and maybe take a writer/director who cares about the source material.

So many iconic moments were missing. "Stay back human: you don't know what you're dealing with."
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