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Reviews
Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983)
Unwieldy in its inanity.
Potential Spoilers:
From the incomprehensible beginning message Dogen receives to the one-expression stare-tastic performance by Byron, this movie is unmatched. Throw in a bit of Richard Moll (see "Dungeonmaster") and you have a recipe for unparalleled B-movie ecstasy.
The premise that Jared-Syn will be destroyed (as evidenced by the title of the film) is never realized. Byron (as Dogen) puts up an interesting ante for facially still, gaze-oriented actors, and manages to make it fun to watch. The plot is sometimes convoluted, and contrived, but isn't that what makes this kind of movie entertaining?
This is one of Band's more valiant efforts. It uses effects, sure; it uses typical Road Warrior-esque poorly rendered vehicle fight montages, yes; but it also captures something timeless in its utter embracing of what it is. Nothing is resolved. Jared-Syn still lives. Dogen stares. Band is king.