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The Witchfinder (2022)
Actually pretty good
I wasn't expecting much after watching a few historical comedies over the years and not being particularly impressed with most of them. This has a lot of silly stuff but also some clever and funny witch hunt related jokes that really work and the cameos are great.
Horror in the High Desert (2021)
Damn the good reviews got me
It's absolute rubbish. Really, really bad. I read the good reviews here and thought even if it's not that good it must be worth a watch? Wow was I wrong.
It starts off with various people who know the missing guy talking direct to camera explaining a bit about him, what he's like etc interspersed with photos of him in the wilderness to show he's an outdoors guy who likes hiking. It's really boring but I thought ok this will be done in 10-15 minutes and we'll see some found footage and it will start getting creepy. Nope. This continues for almost the whole film, people describing what happened instead of actually seeing any footage and it's incredibly boring.
There's a small amount of footage right at the end but it's so badly done and dragged out that I even felt like fast forwarding that. The whole thing is ultra-low budget and it really shows, no clever camera shots or techniques to make up for the minimal budget either. The whole thing feels totally amateurish and has no scares whatsoever.
Hell House LLC (2015)
No pay off
If watching grainy footage of someone wearing a mask is scary to you then boy have you hit the jackpot with this film. If an evil clown mask scares the hell out of you then you have come to the right place.
Overall the production was actually not that bad and the acting was ok. As the haunted house is set up you start to feel like the film is building to some big crescendo but ultimately there is very little to reward the time invested.
They set up cameras around the house to film the customers then ooh someone is there who shouldn't be! Camera pans away and back again, now he's gone! Sorry that doesn't make a good horror film.
The Walking Dead: Splinter (2021)
The worst episode so far
What is the point of this boring rubbish? Yeah we get it 10 star reviewers, this is a bonus episode and not supposed to move the story along or something....character development.....filmed during Covid restrictions etc blah blah blah. I don't care. Does that excuse a poor script, a boring backstory, a whole episode filmed in a box car and make it an enjoyable episode? No.
Z (2019)
Steadily gets worse
The whole story is completely dumb and poorly conceived. A couple of jump scares of a bad CGI demon is all you get throughout the whole film. The demon apparently likes drinking milk, eating sandwiches and playing kids games. Scary. But is it a demon or all in her mind....? You never find out and by the end I couldn't care less and just wanted this painful mess to be over. Don't waste your time
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
Quirky and fun
Right from the get-go it's obvious this film is quite different to most you are likely to come across. The dialogue is the first thing that hit me as it's immediately obvious the film is not taking itself too seriously. The cops making sniping comments and arguing with each other and the lead character's frustration with the lack of progress were initially a bit weird but once I got into it I found it quite funny. Many horror/ comedies descend into farce and the horror element is non existent, not sure I would really call this a horror/comedy as I don't think it really fits into either genre but it manages to keep the central mystery interesting and throw in some humour along the way. A good mix overall.
Fatman (2020)
Funny concept, unfunny film
A hit put out on Santa? Throw Mel Gibson and Walton Goggins into the mix and you have the potential for a pretty wacky film that should keep you interested right?
Unfortunately not. The whole film is played straight by everyone in it and there are almost no laughs. The concept had potential so I expected lots of ridiculous scenes and funny dialogue but it basically plays out like an action film. Not sure what the filmmakers were going for here but if comedy was part of it they missed the mark.
Clemency (2019)
Very slow
There just wasn't enough substance in this film to keep it interesting. The warden is obviously conflicted about her role in carrying out death sentences but there is no real bond between her and the death row inmate as suggested in the synopsis I read. There are some good actors in it but the script is severely lacking, much of the dialogue is just boring and many of the interactions between characters are drawn out with very little drama to keep things interesting.
Against the Sun (2014)
Slow, boring and too low budget
There's just not enough going on throughout the film and the special effects are horrendous. Large parts of it are filmed in a movie set pool and this is quite obvious and makes it look very cheap (is there no waves in the Pacific?). These type of 'lost at sea' films largely rely on the drama of the storms, shark attacks, boat sinking etc but the CGI is terrible and nothing looks believable. Although the acting is ok the interaction between the characters is not enough to keep it interesting and the whole film gets stuck in the doldrums.
Willow Creek (2013)
Very slow build up to no payoff
Wow do they drag this out.
A couple of humourous moments in the first 20 minutes but otherwise just lots of them shooting parts of their documentary....yawn. Finally they get out in the woods and.......sit in a tent looking scared as they hear noises, the scene goes on for forever and you keep thinking you're going to see something and finally get a look at bigfoot. Guess what? you don't. Avoid
Yummy (2019)
Rare to get a good one like this
Just the right mix of horror and comedy. Overall the production was great, the zombies and gore were well done which is so important I think. So many zombie comedies do not have the budget and it all looks a bit cheap and ridiculous but not here. The pace is great, never a dull moment throughout the film. I look forward to whatever the director does next
Miranda (2009)
It's never, ever funny
Unbelievably cringeworthy and cretinous 'comedy'. The jokes aren't even jokes, the writing
is embarrassingly bad and lazy. Even the slapstick is badly done. Absolutely horrendous
The King of Staten Island (2020)
Descends into schmaltz
The first hour or so kept me interested and had some funny moments as you are introduced to the different characters but the second half of the film becomes a bit cliched and more like a run of the mill feel good movie.
After Midnight (2019)
It drags on and on and on
This is not a horror film it's a drama.
Ok it's 1% horror 99% drama. It's very difficult to see what this film is trying to be but it's basically about a guy's relationship with his girlfriend and his angst and partial breakdown while she is unexpectedly away from him for a while.
It's one of those films where you keep expecting something to happen and keep telling yourself there must be more than this?! Then eventually it ends and you face palm as you realise what you thought 10 minutes in was actually correct and you just persevered and convinced yourself to keep watching for no payoff whatsoever.
Honestly, just don't bother
The Lodge (2019)
Best one I've seen for some time
I'm a big fan of horror and after carefully reading reviews and picking something that sounds good I generally watch 1 or 2 a week. I would say less than 10% I actually really enjoy as horror is such a hard genre to get right and people have completely different expectations and opinions about what is a good horror.
If you need gore, violence or jump scares to make it good for you then forget this one. I like some gore-heavy stuff myself but this is not that type of film. This one keeps you guessing as to what is happening most of the way through, it builds the tension expertly and the atmospherics, camera angles and creepy decor in the lodge are done very well. The characters all have a traumatised background and this permeates the film and adds a sense of sadness to the events that unfold. The acting is good, the little girl (Lia McHugh) particularly stands out and was very convincing.
There were a couple of aspects of the plot that I thought were a bit hard to believe but overall a pretty decent effort.
Kamera o tomeru na! (2017)
When does it get funny?
I watched this after reading some of the glowing reviews on here. I love zombie films and horror comedies but this is just hopeless. Someone else said 'if you don't like it at first, stick with it' or something similar so I ploughed on expecting it to get better.
It really doesn't. I watched two thirds of the film and sort of smiled once, normally if I watch half a film and don't like it I'll watch the rest because I've invested so much time already but I gave up on this. It's a film about the making of a film, the zombies are people pulling faces, the gore is rubbish but the worst part is it's just not funny.
Maybe the last third/quarter of the film it suddenly gets hilarious but I doubt it. If you're prepared to sit through an hour of boring first to find out then give it a go
Rick and Morty (2013)
Please don't ever stop making this
This show enriches my life. It is without a doubt the most consistantly funny animated series I have ever seen and I laugh out loud many times in most episodes.
I don't think I've ever rated anything 10 stars before because I think to give 10 stars is to say something is basically perfect and almost nothing is really perfect, but this show is as close to perfection as I have ever seen.
The writing is genius. I don't just mean the comedy, each episode is effectively a separate little story and the ideas and mechanisms that enable Rick and Morty to travel to other worlds and dimensions are sometimes really mind blowing and the whole concept of each episode often makes me think how did they come up with this?
Somehow I only heard about this show in summer 2019 but have since watched the first 3 series and I don't think it has missed a beat yet. Season 4 is about to start and I hope it continues to be the great show it has been so far and long may it continue
Still Open All Hours (2013)
Annoyingly bad
One of the worst attempts at comedy I have ever seen.
The original with Ronnie Barker was a classic but unfortunately this rubbish is nothing like it and David Jason's character is a poor comparison to Arkwright. The jokes are unbelievably corny and just don't work and the storylines are ridiculous and boring.
Please BBC put this series out of it's misery
I Trapped the Devil (2019)
It had potential
The film makers did a lot with very little here as the budget is obviously tiny. The atmosphere quickly becomes quite creepy and a feeling of dread starts to build. I watch horror films regularly and it is rare to find one that creates a real sense of uneasiness and apprehension like this does, for me that is where true horror lies so massive credit to the film makers for that.
Unfortunately there was just not enough information and the script was quite poor.
There's a guy in the basement who Steve believes to be the devil: how did he get there? why does he think he's the devil? These questions are not asked by his brother Matt or his wife and this just seems beyond ridiculous. Although there is some hinting at a traumatic incident in the past and Steve's sanity is questioned there is just not enough back story and the dialogue is quite limited so you end up frustrated because there is never any real explanation for how this situation arose.
I appreciate sometimes directors want to leave things open for the viewer to interpret how they want but for me there were just too many unanswered questions which left me unsatisfied at the end.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
The worst script I've ever heard
A really disappointing fim.
It's supposed to be a horror/comedy but I honestly didn't laugh once and the zombies are not remotely scary, also instead of blood and gore when they are dispatched there is a little puff of CGI black dust which just looks cheap.
I have no idea what Jim Jarmusch was going for here but it honestly doesn't work on any level and has put me off watching anything else he does in the future. The script is absolutely terrible and how they got such A list talent involved is beyond me, maybe they agreed before they read the script?
I read some of the reviews here and had serious doubts before watching it but with Bill Murray/zombies I obviously hoped for some pale shade of Zombieland that might have a few laughs and some good zombie kills but it failed to deliver entirely. It's actually annoyingly bad, Bill Murray/Adam Driver keep breaking the 'fourth wall' and talking about aspects of the film like the soundtrack and script but it just doesn't work and becomes annoying.
I watched the first 15 minutes and thought ok it's boring and no laughs yet but it must get better.....it honestly doesn't. I actually started to think towards the end that Jim Jarmusch maybe deliberately tried to make a really bad film as a joke on the audience or something so maybe he got some laughs doing that but no else did.
Midsommar (2019)
Not what I hoped it would be
I thought Hereditary was great and I really wanted to like Midsommar but I found it quite predictable. If you are a horror fan or even just read the synopsis you can see where the film is going from about 15 minutes in, that's ok if the plot has some twist or unpredictable elements but unfortunately it basically plays out like you expect.
The film has some good moments and starts off with similar themes of grief and loss that Hereditary had which was expertly done again here. There is also quite a lot of humour (mainly from Will Poulter) which was done well. When the group goes to Sweden there are a few moments of horror and definitely a feeling that something is not right (which you expect from reading the synopsis) but way too much of the ceremonies, chanting and communal wailing which I ended up getting a bit bored with and wanting more to happen. I have no problem with long films building an atmosphere of dread but they honestly could have shaved 30 minutes off the run time and the film would have been no different.
As the film progresses towards the end there is one bizarre elongated sex scene that had people laughing out loud in the cinema I was in. Although there is lots of general weirdness and strange cult practices which does convey a sense of uneasiness I don't think there was enough of a feeling of genuine dread or horror. I kept thinking the slow build up would lead to some really horrendous scenes towards the end and some unpredictable ending but for me there was nothing particularly shocking or scary towards the end.
Worth watching but not what I hoped.
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
10 star two line reviews in bad English
AMAZING FILM!! BEST HORROR MOVIE I SEE LONG TIME!!
Unfortunately this type of review permeates IMDB a lot these days, they are very obviously fake and presumably paid for en masse by people linked to the promotion of the movie. The easiest way to spot a fake review of this type:
1. 10 Stars - how many films are genuinely 10 Stars?
2. Very short reviews with no real analysis of the film just generic comments about how great it is.
3.Bad grammar, the spelling is often ok but the nuances of how to construct a proper sentence in English are lacking and although the mistakes are small they are often there.
A combination of these three markers almost always means it's a fake review and IMDB should be developing a way to root them out and delete them as it is damaging their reputation.
Holmes & Watson (2018)
Not funny
I like Will Ferrell and John C Reilly and they have both been in some good comedies but this unfortunately was not one of them.
The writing is horrendous with very amateurish attempts at humour that really did not work and the whole film had a low budget feel to it. The plot was ridiculous (but not in a funny way) and Ferrell/Reilly were wasted in this rubbish. The sets and background CGI even looked basic or bad and unrealistic and the average episode of Ripper Street looked more like Victorian London that this.
If you want to see a humourous version of Sherlock Holmes then watch the Robert Downey Jnr versions as at least they are entertaining and look much more polished than this rubbish