Reviews

Tough to know how to feel when finishing this one. Cage delivers with not one spoken word and there are so many rich opportunities for running movie gags. The premise is rich with possibilities... but that is where the good stuff ends. Poor acting, silly effects, bad writing...it is not Birdemic or The Room but it is not easy to overlook these issues.

Bad stuff first. A lot of acting is wooden or meh. The fact that Cage does better without opening his mouth says something. The plot is full of holes.

Good stuff. Cage's character is awesome in a understated badass kind of way. He gets no awesome quips or deep lines but gets it all done with a look. That character has a psych diagnosis of some kind and it works here. The running gags are great - there are some genuinely hilarious moments.

Looking for an interesting take on a slasher film, with a bit of FNAF homage thrown in? Find it here...with lots of CAGE!!

If you are tired of movies taking themselves seriously...if you are bored with well-written scripts, good acting and quality cinematography..then House Shark is for you!

It took me a moment to figure out whether they meant this to be a running joke or a failed attempt at a serious movie. So many of the good cheesy movies excel at staying in that zone of ambiguity...are they kidding?? Well, House Shark let me know that this was big joke, meant to be enjoyed as humour. Taken that way, you can laugh at the horrible effects, groan at the poor acting and just have good time. That being said, the movie had the odd moment of sophisticated humour, with good one liners, some quirky movie homages and completely off-the-wall characters to generate some hearty laughs.

So if you are looking for something profound, meaningful or deep - keep right on going! But if you want an hour and 45 minutes of silly, interspersed with the occasional clever joke and movie homage, enjoy House Shark!

Convincing characters, explosive action, amazing quotes - even the scenery is a joy to behold. This movie ran me through the gauntlet of emotions. Edge of the seat excitement during the car chase and the climactic shoot-out; laughter when watching Connery and Cage argue back and forth ("Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f#*^ the prom queen!"). What surprised me the most about it though was the movie's ability to make me feel sympathy and affection for the characters. Ed Harris conveys the deep agony of General Hummel's ambiguous actions brilliantly and watching Sean Connery and Clare Forlani as father and daughter together was one of the most touching sequences I had seen in years. One of my top 5 movies ever!

I'm gonna confess something here - I am a sucker for humorous or clever movie quotes. While Cobra may not have a lot of intellectual punch, the quotable lines, mixed with rocking action sequences, make this one an action classic. The car chase is arguably one of the best ever (see The Rock for another San Francisco great chase). This is not a movie you can ever brag about liking with your brainy friends, but I have yet to meet an action move fan who didn't love Cobra. It is such an 80's movie - the feel, the styles - a great romp to the past when I watch it again. Want to see Stallone at his action best? Want to enjoy memorable movie quotes and some loathsome villains? See Cobra.

This movie comes close to having everything I want in an action flick. Great fight sequences - the museum is a standout - are only the beginning. The chemistry between Stallone and Snipes makes every interplay between the two characters a mix of humour and excitement. But, fifteen years after release, it is the futuristic elements of this movie that make it a standout. The outlawing of dangerous or unhealthy activities, the fines meted out for swearing ("you have been fined 5 credits for a sotto voce violation of the verbal morality code..."), the relentless pushing of the peace and tranquility message - many of these jokes have cleverly anticipated trends which are taking place in today's society. Every time I read about a government banning trans-fats, all I can think about is John Spartan chowing down on his "hamburger" with such relish. Whether by accident or design, this movie portrayed many future trends with eerie prescience. Can the Schwartzeneggar Presidential Library be far behind?

If you are looking for a deep, heavy-thinking movie, then this is not the title for you. On the other hand, if you want a funny, quick paced, violent stomp through the big city, this is Crank. The quips are rude, crude and hysterical. The action is verging on unbelievable at times, but still satisfying. After watching, I decided that what makes this movie so enjoyable is Jason Stratham himself. He moves chomps through the scenery like a highly unstable, extremely irate animal. Think force of nature - he conveys an intensity and natural toughness that is remarkable - especially on a fella that is not the young, buff figure one would expect from an action star. I will be buying this one and enjoying it for years to come.

A light-hearted and completely enjoyable movie. The one liners and situations were humorous and quirky. The constant flow of jokes and double entendres in the background make this a movie to enjoy again and again. The comments made over the PA are worth the price of admission. Some of the acting was a little soft but did little to take away from the fun. Worth the time to watch and if you ever see it at your local video store - buy it. Seeing George Wendt and Robert Stack hamming it up is a treat for those of us who watched these actors growing up. The sexual situations were light and harmless and the violence was low-key. Still not sure if this would qualify as a teen movie, crime drama, love story or something else. It is quite unique.