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Toy Story 4 (2019)
Just OK. Ending Left Me Very Unsatisfied
I had a hard time not puddling up at the end of TS3, even though I'm now an old man who grew up on all things Disney. But I started to have my suspicions about TS4 when visiting Disneyland recently, when I saw the pre-release merchandising of the Bo Peep and Forky characters. Wow, what kid is going to warm up to a spork (other than Bonnie?). After seeing the film, I can only conclude that TS4's primary goal is simple; sell more stuff. Very pale when compared to the previous ones, the supporting characters are now mere afterthoughts, Buzz has been dumbed down (weak batteries, perhaps?). The rest of the gang, who all had fully developed individual personalities, have very few lines this time, seemingly only there as window dressing.
Bo Peep, however, becomes the new focus of the film. No longer shy, sweet, and demure, she's now Bo Rambo flexing her considerable physical skills with cold detachment. I have no problem with strong female leads, but at what cost to the TS story line? She's no longer the Bo we grew to know and love. Run, Woody! Run!
Ah, well. They should've stopped at TS3, and not ruined much that they achieved with the dark and disturbing ending of TS4. No longer celebrating a toy's altruistic higher calling, cynical self-interest is the new path to a happy ending.
Rescue from Gilligan's Island (1978)
Speechless, almost.
I was 10 when Gilligan's Island premiered on TV. I loved the show, but didn't get to watch many episodes, as my dad dismissed it as "stupid." So, only having one TV (with a broken channel selector knob and the requisite pair of pliers), I found other modes of entertainment. But I always wondered if the castaways ever got rescued, somehow missing this 1978 Rescue movie.
So 40 years later, I satisfied my curiosity and watched this trainwreck. Er, shipwreck. I tried to accept the television production values of four decades ago, and not let them get in the way of enjoying it. I failed. Even Mr. Ed, and I Dream of Genie were more believable.
Overlooking the same 15 year old outfits and shoes all looking fresh and new, and Bob Denver looking like a middle-aged man still acting like a young goof under an uber-obvious rug, this movie seems like a never-ending group shot of the castaways posing for the cameras, with a little dialog thrown in. The two incompetent Russian heavies sink this embarrassment even lower, making it even harder to watch all the way to the end. The actors (except for MIA Tina Louise) all seeming to be mailing it in one last time, and Alan Hale Jr's brief bits of Oliver Hardy gestures can't save this production from festering dumbness.
OK, so it did alright for NBC when it first aired, summing up the 15 year old saga of the group somehow staying stuck on the island (while other visitors, including celebrities of the time) seemed to have no trouble coming and going at will. For other Gilligan fans, I suppose it was a much needed finale and required viewing, no matter how painful. For me, my curiosity was mostly satisfied when the group concocted a plan to leave, but I just had to stick around another hour for the ending. Dumb decision.
I gave it two stars, because it could be worse. Don't ask me how. Maybe dad was right after all, and I had to get to a ripe old age to appreciate his original assessment. But now I know why we watched better shows like Twilight Zone, Bonanza, Dick Van Dyke, Ed Sullivan, Bugs Bunny, and even Soupy Sales.
But never My Mother the Car. Possibly the worst of the era.
Hickok (2017)
Don't Bother
Where to begin... I was hoping that the thoroughly enjoyable Chris Hemsworth would deliver a performance somewhere near his Thor persona, but that was not to be. Neither did Bruce Dern, Kris Kristoferson, Trace Adkins, or anyone else live up to previous acting efforts. I really blame the director and cinematographer, for delivering a completely mundane, slow motion, unimaginative waste of everyone's time. The camera angles were mostly locked down, the acting unnatural, the script tiresome, the editing trite, and I completely missed whether or not there was an accompanying music score. I gave up on this train wreck after watching the first two thirds, as the dishwasher needed unloading.
All Is Lost (2013)
"All is Lost?" Perfect title for this sinker.
Being a fan of man vs. the environment survival films, I watched All is Lost with high expectations. They weren't met. Not even slightly.
This film should have been a gripping drama about a lone sailor surviving mishap after mishap, somewhat along the lines of Cast Away. But it was so full of technical errors and poor script writing, that I just couldn't take it seriously. There was a noticeable lack of authenticity, apparently there was little or no script consultation with experienced mariners or survival experts. Tightening a knurled nut antenna fitting with an adjustable wrench? Not using internationally accepted distress verbiage? Please. This is basic stuff!
Other reviewers have pointed out the myriad issues with Redford's character, who doesn't engage in even the most basic of preparations for a solo voyage across a huge sea. I'll add a few of the most glaring ones; No sat phone? No EPIRB beacon? No Personal Flotation Device (PFD)? Not learning celestial navigation BEFORE embarking on this trip? Insufficient fresh water aboard? Insufficient or just not using rescue items? No backup hand-held marine radio? No rescue plan on file? For drama to work, it has to be somewhat believable. No sailor with any common sense would omit to take these most basic safety precautions before launching.
That all being said, the innovative cinematography and production design kind of got lost in the errors. Unfortunate, with a little more attention to details, this could have been the suspenseful film that the crew anticipated and the audience could fully enjoy.
Grandma's Boy (2006)
A Really Stupid Movie that's Hard to Take if not Baked
OK, I'll admit that I have a weakness for any movie with dwarfs or monkeys. Grandma's Boy sucked me in with the still frame depicting a chimp, so I was hooked and in for the duration. Unfortunately, the bit with the chimp was a brief cameo at the end, and I paid the price in suffering through the balance of the film first.
Billed as a "cult classic" on Hulu, I can only wonder what cult would willing to inflict this stinker on their members more than once. Full of coarse language, sex jokes, and non stop stoner humor, Grandma's Boy is hardly the laugh every three minutes some think it is. The scripting is predictable, the acting strained, and the characterizations unbelievable.
The premise has promise with two divergent generations under the same roof, but it's wasted with overt attempts at humor that you can see coming a mile away. Nothing subtle here, unfortunately.
The only bright spots for me were David Spade's cameo as a waiter in a vegan restaurant, and Shirley Jones as a horribly miscast over-the-hill cougar. I could believe their performances, even when surrounded by the poor performances of their accomplices.
There are plenty of true comedic cult classics to enjoy, such as Blazing Saddles, Airplane!, Young Frankenstein, Where's Poppa?, Ghost Town, etc., but Grandma's Boy ain't one of them.
The Bamboo Prison (1954)
Korean War POW Flick that Did Not Age Gracefully
The Bamboo Prison was made just about the time I was conceived, but it's taken 60+ years for me to finally get around to seeing it. Unfortunately, the plot and script both seem to poke around aimlessly, searching for a hot button to engage the audience. Finally, it serves up Communism as the failed ideology that it is, but underscores this point with tedious dialogue and little else. (I used to love action filled war movies as a child, but this one would have had me begging to go play in the dirt in no time at all.) You might think that the combined talents of E. G. Marshall, Brian Keith, and Robert Francis would save this one, but their acting skill are no match for the clumsy cinematic execution of The Bamboo Prison. It's obvious that this film was produced with little regard to set dressing, make up, or special effects.
The prison camp set looks like left over buildings from Stalag 17 with some bamboo added here and there, the prisoners all appear very well fed and clothed, and the bombing raid depends on some stock footage of a Boeing dropping bombs which all happen to land in exactly the same area. Gun shots at a fleeing prisoner all land in a very straight line, evenly spaced, indicating little effort was spent planting the charges in the dirt for the impact effect.
While not exactly terrible, this film is probably best viewed while sorting your sock drawer, clipping your nails, or as a cure for insomnia. I was hoping to see acting by the principals on par with some of their other films (Robert Francis - Caine Mutiny, E.G. Marshall - !2 Angry Men, or even Brian Keith in the Parent Trap), but this was not to be. Still, I'm happy to have watched the film so I can avoid it in the future. Your mileage may vary.
Father Goose (1964)
A quirky jewel of a film, a rarity amid today's frenetic "family" productions.
No, it's not a high budget, CG intensive, action packed blockbuster. It's half a century old, contains no vulgarities or explicit scenes, no gore, very little gunfire, and only two decent explosions at the very end. (Sorry.) I do believe, however, that Father Goose is everything it was intended to be, and more. It's become a staple of regular viewing over the years in our household, to the point where bits of dialog are quoted frequently as perfect rejoinders. Even our kids say "All of them, Frank" when asked a question where a quantity or amount is the logical answer. (In more adult settings, "my coconut is empty" is more frequently employed.) For a film to work its way into the subconscious like this means the viewer has found something to cherish and commit to memory, and pull out with some glee whenever the situation warrants. Of course, this effort is wasted on those who haven't viewed the film. Fortunately, this is easily corrected.
Cary Grant is the perfect reclusive curmudgeon who only wants to be left alone to pursue his dual pastimes of cruising the South Pacific and drinking. Leslie Caron is his ideal opposite, a school mistress stranded with her young charges on a remote island facing Japanese invasion. In spite of the mutual hostility, the story of them finding common ground to keep the girls safe is hilarious and heart warming, especially when framed by the harsh realities of World War II in the South Pacific.
Produced at a time before filmmakers were constrained by political correctness in scripting and casting, Father Goose contains no overt or even subtle societal or political messages. In this regard, it's very refreshing to watch and enjoy. It contains enough suspense and clever dialog to keep adults engaged, and yet remains safe enough for family viewing. It's a romantic comedy that even guys and kids can enjoy, very well written and acted, and still holds up well even decades later.
American Buffalo (1996)
A constrained adaptation of Mamet play, pointless in spite of talented actors.
Perhaps my expectations were needlessly high, given the pairing of Hoffman and Franz, and the fact that David Mamet penned the screenplay from his original Broadway play. But after forcing myself to watch the entire production, I had to go online to figure out if I had missed something crucial that might have some redeeming value.
Unfortunately, what I found online only mirrored what I had experienced. This film has very to little to offer beyond non-stop dialog delivered at a machine gun pace, much of which is missed given the speed of its delivery. And there's no let up for the viewer, no moments to pause and reflect on the content. You can't afford to, lest you might miss the significant development that has to be in here somewhere, the one you keep wishing would finally appear.
But the payoff never comes. But it finally just ends, mercifully, allowing to viewer to wonder why they just wasted their time watching this mind numbing display of a very meager plot augmented only by earthy dialog and very little else. Mamet fans might find some redeeming value here, but for the average viewer, there's very little there, there. Given a choice, sorting my sock drawer has more intellectual stimulation.