Reviews

I was a huge fan of Bone Tomahawk and it's gritty, brutal, well done western violence. So when I heard S. Craig Zahler was making another R action film, I was excited.

This film hit the spot for a hardcore action film straight out of another time period. Vince Vaughn is awesome as the silent, calculating, brutal Bradley Thomas, getting into dicey situations. Jennifer Carpenter was good in her role as his wife but was ultimately nothing special, but has a great moment towards the end of the film. Udo Kier played a really good, freaky, threatening creep of a man and was fun to watch. And Don Johnson as Warden Tuggs was great to watch, straight up brutal and a great bad guy.

The cinematography and editing are great, not rushing or cutting quickly, letting the frame and everything inside it flow smoothly, allowing us to watch some super hardcore fight scenes go down without any confusion whatsoever. Head stomping and bone breaking caliber stuff right here.

The effects are borderline B-grade film level, like an exploitation film of the past, but fit perfectly into the aesthetic and visual style. It's bloody, bone crunching, skin tearing, head exploding awesomeness.

The story is simple and straightforward but is by no means boring and keeps the entertainment coming. It's all very dark and humorous, real black comedy, but the high stakes are there and keep you rooting for the characters at play.

Soundtrack is funky and the sound effects and design is great, especially in the action segments.

My only real gripe with the film is that maybe it could have been trimmed down a little bit, but to be honest, the time goes quickly so it's not a bother.

Overall, Brawl in Cell Block 99 is a great hardcore action film of an older time period. If you're not a fan of hardcore action films and messed up films, don't watch this. It's not for you. For everyone else though, go and have a good time and enjoy watching Vince Vaughn reign down hell. 8/10, great film.

Heracles, the greatest of the ancient Greek heroes. My dad told me all of his adventures and labors and heroic doings when I was growing up. There is such a rich and bountiful history behind the demi-god, so many tales that would easily make great movies, but instead we get this.

From the director of action classics such as Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger, comes this steaming pile of crap straight from the butthole of a $70 million project.

What even was this movie? The Hercules done by Brett Ratner was coming out later that year (which turned out to be far better than this), so why was this one necessary?

Acting - I don't think you can call any of this acting, just people reciting lines with either shouty voices or normal voices. Okay... - Kellen Lutz is not Hercules. Dwayne the Rock Johnson was more believable as Hercules. - Scott Adkins was wasted (not that he's a great actor). If you've seen his movies, you know what he's good for...sweet fist fight action sequences. He has one in this but it's poorly done. - The bad guys were just acting like over-the-top douche bags with no layered performances.

Story - The romance plot line took up way too much time. It wasn't believable, or touching, in fact, it was quite dead and emotionless and I felt nothing for the to lovebirds. - There is 1 labor performed in this film, the Nemean Lion. It was rushed and lackluster, poorly executed. - It feels too much like Ben-Hur, Spartacus and Gladiator, 10/10 films. But they had layered characters, superb writing, an emotional story line and brilliant acting and this has none of those things. It doesn't feel original and it isn't even done well so you can't forgive it for being unoriginal.

Action - (Cinematography and Editing) - It's PG-13 so there's no meatiness to the fights - There's no blood or real visceral violence of any kind - Looks like a bunch of people rolling around swinging wildly, mixed in with some WWE performances - Clone of 300, or Immortals. Same style, but poorly executed. - No point to slow motion because there's nothing impressive happening and there's no blood flying across the screen. - Cuts away when anything cool might happen - It just feels boring to watch - This is the most decent thing about the movie though, soooooooo...

Costumes and Set Design - Costumes just look cheap - Sets look cheap - Backgrounds sometimes look like paintings - When they don't look like paintings they look like terrible animation - Terrible animation complimented by wonky green screen blending - Why did so much have to be CGI if it was garbage? Why not create a miniature model of the city and film that rather than create an obviously fake, video-game looking world?

Writing - Dialogue is cringey, cheesy, corny, terrible....take your pick. - Nothing feels tense. - Characters might as well be 2D cut- outs. There's no layering to any of them. They're either good or bad. None are tormented or have problems. Take for example Joaquin Phoenix's Commodus - clearly disturbed and vile, tormented by his thoughts and emotions. That's a character. - Come to think of it, I don't think there was an actual script, just dot points written by 4 dudes in a room.

Music - Uninspired

Sound Design - Uninspired

Movie Overall - Uninspired

Rating 2/10

What on earth actually happened here? Could barely slog through this turd.

Dead Snow was quite a good zombie film. It had a certain, modern low budget Evil Dead feel to it, with its blend of serious thrills and sprinkle of dark humor. It was a quick, fun, zombie film to watch with friends that delivered on the gore and action sequences. This was enough for me to want to watch its sequel directly after.

Dead Snow 2 took me by surprise, building on its predecessor and completely surpassing it - which is what any good sequel should do. However, this is not just a good sequel, it is a great sequel, an awesome, totally irreverent comedy, horror, action film.

Continuing immediately after the first film, our main protagonist is immediately thrown into the deep end. The film doesn't stop there, but goes completely all out by turning up on the crazy awesome factor by giving him powers through a zombie arm. If at this point you think this sounds idiotic and unbearable, then don't watch the movie. If you think this sounds idiotic and interesting, go ahead and proceed with watching it. You will not be disappointed with the course this movie takes.

Along with the protagonist from the original film, comes new, clichéd, but enjoyable characters that really add to the humor in the film. We have a bunch of zombie slaying nerds from the USA, a sloppy and idiotic cop and his men, a homose...I mean heterosexual museum attendant, a zombie sidekick and of course, the Nazi zombie army. All have their great scenes and lines to deliver throughout the movie, living up to the B-movie level of craziness in the same vein as the Evil Dead 2.

So the plot and characters are all interesting and add to the overall quality of the film, but what really makes this film what it is, is the action scenes. Irreverent, bloody, vicious and hilarious, the creators have really pumped up the action in this movie, delivering on what all zombie movies should have - unique, gory, over-the-top kills, and this movie has it in spades.I laughed too many times throughout as some of the coolest, most inventive kills took place in front of my eyes, where absolutely nothing was sacred. Nobody was excluded from the rampage of the Nazi zombies as they tore through men, women and children to reach the inevitable climax to end all the craziness. Not only is it all good fun, but the filmmakers also made sure everything looked really good. The practical effects were all really well done, from the thick, splattering blood, to the explosions of grenades and tank shells. The zombies themselves looked really cool, the unique ones all having their own look. This is one of those films where you can tell everyone was having a great time and doing really great work because of it.

Overall, if you're a fan of zombie films, watch it. If you're a fan of dark, irreverent comedy, watch it. If you're easily offended by perverse, non-politically correct content, avoid at all cost so you don't ruin this for others. If you're not though, you're gonna have an absolute blast.

Dead Snow 2 is awesome. It builds off the first one and catapults itself into unique territory to stand apart from other zombie films. It's violent, hilarious and a quick 1 hour and 40 minutes, that caps off with a great ending. I want a Dead Snow 3, but honestly, this movie ends in a way where we don't need one, because it's already a perfectly fine way to finish it all off.

Dead Snow 2 is the sequel fans of the original deserved.

8/10. A must watch for all zombie film enthusiasts.

I first saw this when i was 5 years old. 13 years later and many viewings later, it still blows me away. Let's just give you the numbers and letters that you want.

10/10

A+

5 stars

Two thumbs up etc. etc.

This is a masterpiece. A film so brilliantly epic focusing on insignificant characters of the West. Not only is it the greatest Western film of all time, it could easily be regarded as THE best film of all time by some. But let's get into it.

The story and characters. Both are simple. Very simple. And that's not a problem. From this movie we get the three typical characters; the bad guy, the funny man and the bad-ass "good guy". Each are unique in their simplistic way and have great chemistry between each other. The interactions between Blondie and Tuco on their adventure always sparks dark humour and Angel Eyes always has a sinister presence on screen. Their introductions to the audience are amazing, especially that of Angel Eyes, and they continue to be be lasting, memorable characters long after the film is finished. The story is a simple "three men going after the same gold" plot, but quickly grows into a Western epic as they travel around the open deserts, through towns, pulled into the bloody civil war and appropriately finishes in a graveyard. This entire epic adventure all occurred because of a simple treasure hunt plot. The movie therefore exceeds in providing great, memorable characters, and a simple plot that creates an epic adventure through the wild west.

The acting is great. Eastwood pulls off his best bad-ass role as Blondie, whenever appearing on screen. His presence within the film gives off this almost demigod-like character that roams the west - truly awesome. Eli Wallach is also great as the rude, dirty and humorous Tuco, who provides the bulk of the comedy in the film, especially when interacting with Eastwood. Lee Van Cleef as Angel Eyes is also superb, truly pulling off a great villain. He's calm, ruthless and brutal and always has a presence when he's in the shot, standing out with his piercingly calm eyes. Each character has great dialogue, with memorable phrases and one-liners and each have their moment in the film to shine. Their personalities, dialogue and looks, portrayed by a great cast, provides some of the coolest, most unique characters ever put to film.

The cinematography in this movie is astounding. Leone as a director is exceptional, always favouring the extreme long shots to get a feel for the location. The film is continuously breathtaking with its large, epic shots that capture the beauty of the west. Every frame of this film, is indeed a painting. Not only is the cinematography exceptional in the travelling and dialogue sequences of the film, it also excels in its action segments. A variety of long sweeping shots and precise close ups to eyes and guns brilliantly conveys tension in these scenes. Nothing is boring, everything is riveting. The quick cuts are never done during the action, but only leading up to it to effectively build the atmosphere of the showdowns, which are shot in a way in which doesn't confuse the audience and prominently displays the violence of the film. It feels gritty and real mixed with the myth-like invincibility of the main characters that lead them through showdowns and war-scale battles to a final showdown of epic proportions. It really gives the film an epic scale and never shies away from the drama and violence within the film, effectively capturing action and character emotions to portray a brilliant visual story.

And how can I not talk about the score. Ennio Morricone, my favourite composer and easily one of the best, provides an astounding western score to solidify this film into history. It's epic and atmospheric and fits the movie so well. The movie's theme is brilliant and iconic, unique and memorable earning its place with the likes of Jaws, Star Wars and Terminator. Morricone's score fits in beautifully with the excellent cinematography, which really helps to further add to the atmosphere of the setting. It's an iconic and brilliant score, suitable for the greatest western film of all time.

Overall, everything in this film just comes together perfectly. Everything. Sure, it's 3 hour run time isn't everybody's cup of tea but you should at least treat yourself to this epic at least once before you die. It's characters, cinematography, music, etc is all perfect. It is a perfect film. It has stood the test of time and will continue to do so for many more decades. A cinematic masterpiece. The western to rule all westerns.

And not a bad pick for the greatest film of all time if I do say so myself.