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pog53
Reviews
Anaconda (1997)
Brilliant - The snake reminds me of my first wife.
What a hoot! A brilliant B movie to watch with a large Gin & Tonic to cheer on the snake. Regrettably I was laughing so much I missed the bit where the amazingly annoying Kari Wuhrer gets the chop. The snake is actually rather good - it looks a bit like my first wife. I didn't know they can scream as well. Jon Voight is as brilliant as ever but the cast dialogue coach was clearly deranged - accents are all over the place and the music is totally out of sync with the scenes. The first snake attack on the boat is a classic - screaming girls, deranged Voight and Owen Wilson ending up as a snake stocking filler. Brilliant. Ice Cube sums it up nicely when he announces: "That's it - I'm off back to LA". Very sensible, mate.
Sahara (1995)
Bring back Bogey...
Oh God, this is awful. This has just been inflicted yet again upon the unsuspecting British public by some obscure freeview channel trying to fill an empty slot between adverts. Please, please, please - make it stop. The acting is wooden and the stereotypes are appalling. The idea of a mouthy, overweight American NCO who joined the war fashionably late ordering around a multinational bunch of Allied privates led by a Commissioned officer is laughable enough, but the worst bit is the Sahara doesn't even look hot. It's more like a pleasant day trip to the beach. You could overlook the flaws of the original '43 version because of the quality of Bogart and the supporting cast, but not this mob.
If you want to see a classic set in the western desert then go for "Ice Cold in Alex" instead of this rubbish. I hope Belushi remembered to drive on the left when he eventually made it back to El Alamein. Never again, please!