Change Your Image
unloco161
Reviews
Righteous Kill (2008)
I liked it
The movie was pretty good. It wasn't great but it kept my attention and the actors all played their roles well. De Niro the hothead, Pacino a little toned down in this one, Cugino the Vixen and the Pest I mean John Leguizamo playing the good guy you don't like. The twists and turns can be relatively easy to figure out. However, they got me at the end because I really wasn't trying to solve the case I was enjoying A-List actors doing their thing. I have a little problem with the lame cameos of 50 Cent and Rob Dyrdek. It was very cheesy and unnecessary but at least they didn't mess up the film in anyway. Go see it it's not bad at all.
Automaton Transfusion (2006)
I dunno it sucked a lot but I've seen worse
This Review Contains Many Spoilers!!!!
These guys tried. It shows. However its just not that good. I mean there are several plot holes like how they make it into the house through hundreds of zombies to save the girlfriend. Or from the school to the Jeep. Stuff like that. It just skips logical scenes and hopes the viewer doesn't pick up on it. Also if you've seen Dawn of the Dead the zombies are essentially the same. Fast. Also the first victim at the house party was a dead-on (excuse the pun) rip off of a scene from the original Night of the Living Dead. It even has the intestines removal that looks, seriously, exactly the same. The military involvement storyline is just flat out lame. Janitor secret agents? A city and neighboring towns aren't going to be on a map in the 2000's?...please.
On the positives it has descent low budget gore. Gore and zombies go hand in hand and at least they didn't hold back on that. Also the movie moved along pretty well. It wasn't a bore fest. While not good I did want to know what happened to the characters in the end. The actors are OK except maybe 2 and the actresses all pretty which is another plus for the level movie we are talking about. I can definitely cut these guys some slack cause they tried to do what they love and it shows. The movie was taken very seriously though the final product was not up to par.
On one more negative note the ending is the most disappointing ending ever. I mean think of Seinfield going to jail, finding out Maggie shot George Burns and the Sopranos finale ending in mid sentence. Now put them all together...thats how bad the ending is.
Zebra Lounge (2001)
Bad Bad Bad
At first glance a steamy erotic movie starring Kristy Swanson doesn't really sound all that bad but man was I wrong. Basically, your typical established middle class couple has lost their flame and decide to spice it up with a little swinger action. Everything is great at first and of course the swinger couple they meet (Baldwin and Swanson) turns out to be a couple of grade-A psychos that wont go away. Now this isn't that bad of a plot to go on because it's a couple not just one person involved in the psychotically-in-love-with-you storyline. It's a bit of a twist on an overused tale but not nearly enough to save this film becoming a one copy rental at your local blockbuster.
So the final verdict on this movie is that it's just flat out bad. They obviously spent all their money on Baldwin and Swanson because all the other actors in this movie belong in college theatre. Regardless of the low level acting skills none of the characters are believable anyway. The first married couple look too much like wholesome suburbanites and the swingers look too much like well a sleazy swinger couple. That sort of thing. In all honesty this movie isn't even really worth reviewing this in depth. In all probability the only reason anyone would watch this movie is for the abundance of stale unrealistic sex scenes. Being a guy myself I can assure you that they aren't even worth it.
P.S All you Kristy Swanson fans hoping to maybe see a little something in this flick, you wont. She somehow manages to keep her clothes halfway on through 3-4 sex scenes.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Saved the Trilogy
Lets face it: the first two episodes in the franchise flat out stunk. Lame characters and childish storyline plagued Episode One; while terrible acting and almost desperate looking battle scenes destroyed Episode Two. Now comes Episode Three. I must say I expected the same disappointment in the last of the trilogy as I have received from the first two. However, I was pleasantly surprised! Good god it was time they actually got down to business. There are limited "kiddie" moments and a whole lot more Vader being well Vader! The graphics are far superior to Episode Two's and makes Episode One look like a made for TV movie. Episode Three has almost a perfect mix of story and action. There are 30-45 minutes that you could have completely left out of the movie but that's almost to be expected from Mr. Lucas. Episode Three takes the viewer on a long needed dark turn to the trilogy. Kids today couldn't care less about Star Wars, the release of the "new" Star Wars trilogy should have been more geared to adults from the beginning anyway. This is a great conclusion to an almost completely wasted trilogy. Episode Three has the spectacular special effects, action and romance. How can you go wrong? Go see this one.
Crash (2004)
Very Good
"Crash" was quite a pleasant surprise. This movie, no matter what your view on racism, will keep you interested all the way through. This movie is more than just a "Don't be a racist" movie. It shows the two sides of people and the two sides of that topic as well. While its true the kid with the baggy jeans MIGHT try and steal your purse, he also MIGHT be studying to be a surgeon and save your life one day. I am not sure if that is what the director was going for but that is the message that I got out of this movie. This movie is for open-minded good humored people. If you take the racism topic too seriously some of the dialogue will make you angry. No one race is safe in this one. Only downfall to this movie in my eyes was that the characters might have been just a little bit exaggerated. Every time someone says "hi" a racial argument came up. Great movie all the way through and its beautiful to see how all the parts and characters of the movie come together in the end. Go see this one.
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Kinda Crappy
The only reason this flick got a 5 out of 10 out of me is that horror movies just flat out suck these days. There was probably one scene that made me twitch ever so slightly in this entire film. That was the part where random-zombie-guy-you-only-see-once-in-the-movie popped up in the bathroom behind the kid. There is no real reason to see this movie besides the hot babysitter scene (no nudity) and it MIGHT scare your date a little closer. I grew up relatively near Amityville and have seen that house. It doesn't look anything like that and it sure as hell isn't built on top of an ancient Indian burial ground. I mean come on people! You can do better than that. One last thing...whats with the Capatain Hook/Candyman looking guy? Weak. Hey at least it doesn't have Paris Hilton in it.