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ddzayson
Reviews
Nothing But Trouble (1991)
So bad it's not even interesting
I agree with the consensus. Burn the negatives. This is right up there with GIGLI as one of the absolute worst films ever made. I can hang with something like WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S which knows how dumb it is. But this... my god, I felt like I had just bathed in manure after watching it on HBO the other night. It made me feel icky and embarrassed and resentful all at once. I'm just amazed that, despite the clout of then-stars Ackroyd, Chase, and Candy, this POS ever was greenlit in the first place. It's an absolute trainwreck; NOTHING about it works! And again, other movies are actually humorous and a bit charming, even, because they are so flawed. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT comes to mind. And WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S too. But not this. This fails in every way imaginable.
Wee Sing in Sillyville (1989)
Dreadful
Clearly, this video is not to be judged the same way a legitimate film would. It is aimed at young children. Still, I have over twenty younger cousins and spend many evenings growing up babysitting them and watching countless kids videos. This one was hands-down the corniest and most awful. Again, no one is going to expect great performances here, but this cast reeks of small town community theatre amateurism. The songs will get stuck in your head and make you want to run head first, at full speed, into a brick wall. Sure, little kids might be amused (although my cousins- even at very young ages- found it lame). But for anyone over the age of six, stay away from this garbage!
Analog Days (2006)
Anchored by a tremendous leading performance, Analog Days soars!
I walked into Analog Days not knowing quite what to expect. Its trailer displayed it as an update of sorts of Eric Bogosian's SuBurbia, featuring a group of young, small town twentysomethings struggling to find their place in the world. Not exactly summer blockbuster material, I should say.
Having seen it, I am happy to report that this film provides welcome relief from the mindless summertime drivel that true cinema lovers have been suffering through as of late. This is the kind of intimate character study that will likely win many admirers in the festival circuit and develop a cult following. The film is anchored by a wonderful and (hopefully) star-making performance from Ivy Khan. As Tammy, a shy film student, Khan breaks your heart with her nuanced, understated acting. Every reaction, every gesture is filled with insight into Tammy's inner world. Khan's performance contains a depth that is not often found from an actress of her age. It's always great to discover a talented newcomer, and Khan is sure to go on to bigger, more high-profile roles. She is truly a master of her craft.
Another winning performance comes from Ryan Johnsen as Fenster, who provides much of the film's comic relief. Like Khan, Johnsen avoids one-dimensional clichés in his work; opting instead to paint his portrait in tiny brush strokes.
This film succeeds because it refuses to give into conventional popcorn movie devices. Tammy's angst isn't easily solved by some third act solution. This is because writer/director Mike Ott understands that LIFE ITSELF isn't divided into scenes and acts. Instead, he offers a wonderful finale which offers the audience to draw their own conclusions. Let the record show that THIS audience member appreciates Mr. Ott's willingness to trust his viewers as intelligent filmgoers.
The Vanishing (1993)
Never saw the Dutch original, but this one SUCKS on its own merit!
Man, what an awful film. As with many terrible films, the structure of its awfulness lies in the script. This is such a pathetic attempt at a psychological thriller that it gives the entire genre a bad name. Okay, here's one major problem: Sandra Bullock's character is abducted by Jeff Bridges in his car at a busy convenience store in broad daylight. Somehow, her boyfriend Kiefer Sutherland doesn't find a single witness to this act and subsequently spends most of the movie completely clueless as to her whereabouts. Come on! Personally, I find this completely insulting to even the dimmest of audience members. Yet we are forced to buy into this nonsense. Of equal frustration is the poorly explained motive for Jeff Bridges's actions. His character is a bit of an eccentric academic, to be sure, but far from the sociopath who would do these things. He goes through about ten minutes, give or take, spilling his beans to Sutherland as to why he has performed his cruel actions. But the explanation itself lacks even the most elementary sense of logic. Therefore, no intelligent audience member can really believe in the possibility of his evil. And if you subtract that element from the story, the entire thing falls apart.
Also of major concern: -Jeff Bridges using a weird, pseudo-French accent for no reason.
-The entire boring subplot involving Nancy Travis, most especially her saving the day by turning the tables on Bridges.
-The crazy woman who somehow manages to remember Jeff Bridges' license plate number despite also thinking that the Lucky Charms leprechaun is real.
-Sandra Bullock's character's name, Diane Shaver, conveniently re-scrambles to form the word "vanished". Are you friggin' kidding me?? -The logistical impossibility of drugging, abducting, and burying (in a very remote location) a human being within the span of forty minutes (as Bridges specifically alludes to).
This is a movie that made me remember the fictional, impossibly stupid (yet very successful) Donald Kaufman character in Adaptation. Many screenwriters are brilliant, inspired artists. Some are just bozos who convince the nitwits running the studios to make their drivel. This particular script is so stunningly dimwitted that Donald Kaufman himself would have managed to sell it. Unfortunately for all of us in the real world, Todd Graff actually did.
Stella (2005)
Groundbreaking comedy
In the post-Friends era where the "sitcom is dead," the new Comedy Central series Stella proves that great comedy is about innovation, not repetition. It's a difficult task to describe what makes the Stella trio of Michael Ian Black, David Wain, and Michael Showalter so side-splittingly funny. Perhaps it's that one never knows what they will do next. The three ne'er-do-wells find themselves propelled from one exceedingly far-fetched situation to the next (being caught "in tableau", enjoying various dipping sauces for food they've found in the dumpster). This series will appeal to drama geeks, fans of 80s pop culture, dark humorists, and anyone sick of the rote, by-the-numbers that constitutes typical sitcom material. It finds a welcome home at Comedy Central, and will soon stand alongside other eccentric hits such as South Park, Chapelle Show, and Reno 911.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
So bad, it's great
Treat yourself to the masterpiece of gratuity and ineptitude that is Silent Night, Deadly Night. It really doesn't get much worse than this. Ed Wood would be beaming proudly, wherever he is. I have shown this to various friends, as well as at parties, and everyone agrees: while this movie flounders at it's attempts at thrills, it succeeds brilliantly at producing unintentional comedy. From the opening bit in which the loving family decides to spend Christmas Eve at the nuthouse with crazy IL' Grampa (featuring Will Hare in a completely ludicrous performance) to grown-up Billy's antics at the Ira's Toy Store, and his subsequent rampage, this film stumbles and staggers from one scene to the next with all the lovable clumsiness of a drunken freshman. The film's best/worst asset is its cast of community theatre-trained actors who, despite trying valiantly otherwise, never fail to completely embarrass themselves. They are supported by a script that seems to have been written the night before filming began and features such cringe-worthy dialogue as "Santy Claus only brings presents to them that's been good all year" and "Keep drinkin, kid. 'Fore night's over, you'll think you ARE Santa Claus". So if your local video store's horror section has this turd in the rough, snatch it up and enjoy the silliness!