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Reviews
#Realityhigh (2017)
Over-acted and filmed like a commercial. Garbage
A bunch of other reviews have stated that this movie portrays the expectations placed on the shoulders of girls in high school to be cool and hot. BS! Yeah, if you'd gone to a high school like this where everyone is 30 years old, apparently high on drugs, has a car, and is super rich sure, then the expectation would be to be like them. This movie really suffers from that special case of what-40-year-olds-think-high-school-is.
Let me be clear, there is not a single high school on the planet that even remotely resembles this SUNNY-D commercial of a movie. That is how this whole movie is filmed, especially the scene at the pool. The acting is unbearably over the top and consistently fails to deliver any funny or memorable lines. Oh wait, I lied.. I actually burst out laughing when the main character started gazing into the camera with her face perfectly framed only to have it cut to a shot of her love interest floating in the pool in the same manner, I could practically see a brand name floating next to their heads with a catch-phrase. Actually, if you do end up seeing this monstrosity (I'd have given it no stars if possible) just play a game with yourself: see how many different logos fit with the current scene. Is someone getting out of bed and walking into the kitchen to have the most perfect looking day that California has ever seen? Folgers. Over enthusiastic father showing up and showing the signs of a perfectly happy and promiscuous marriage only to have his 20- year-old hot wife show up and hold his hand? Trojan.
I digress. Don't see this pap! Especially if you're someone like me who can actually get really worked up after considering that the experience of watching this movie was basically theft, IE; this movie stole 30 minutes of my life. I didn't watch the entire thing because I didn't want to feel my time being wasted any longer.
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
A series of wooden acting and boring events
This series got way overzealous in how it handled being turned into a show. This means that rather than do what the film did where it tried to cram lots into a movie-sized chunk of time, they dragged out many, many scenes. In fact, each book takes up 2 episodes so far. The entire segment where count Olaf kills and then tries to cover up the fact that he killed uncle Monty is what the 4th episode is about. Slow as a lump of cement being poured and acting just as pretty.
The acting is completely wooden, aside from NPH. I swear, if the same people had filmed and acted in Schindler's list, you wouldn't feel the stakes even if they took as long to explain to you as they do here. I mean by that, that the acting is line-reading plain and simple, and lots and lots of talking. Mr. Po is an infuriating incompetent who has no likability. In the books, he signalled a release in tension when he arrived because nothing could happen to him or the children, so the reader could feel at ease. This Mr. Po would offer up these kids to a pack of starved, rabid baboons if their parents' will stated it, and be utterly forgettable while doing it. Neil is hard to compare to Jim Carrey because I never viewed Olaf from the books as being even slightly comedic, so I was taken a bit off guard by both of them and still haven't formed an opinion. I can say that Harris is evil-er than Carrey. He's easily the best part of this series.
I do like that they get underway with the secret society thing early on where in the book it was only hinted at until mid-way through the series. The set pieces are very nice. Costumes 6/10. Nice intro that seems to set up a good flow of humour and tone, until the episode starts.
Ug, it's so very boring and the TL-DR is that if you aren't UTTERY BLINDED BY NOSTALGIA, like all the reviewers here that give this 10/10 are then you'll be spending a lot of time wishing that they'd just get on with it. Especially so you won't have time to notice the actors just reading their scripts and not, you know, ACTING THEM!!