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Holy Driver (2021– )
1/10
Gavin Rapp is to film what Hitler was to peace.
25 December 2023
Mr Rapp's film making career can be best characterized by one thing the words "PLEASE STOP". From the first time I saw one of his productions I had the overwhelming feeling of nausea as his ability to not entertain, not have any concepts of cinematography combined with the worst effects and horrifyingly bad dialogue is unique. Maybe he could just hand everything over to chatGPT because the moment Rapp gets either behind a camera, uses a laptop to write or worse still, his cheesy selection of music, I'm ready to gnaw and arm off.

We live in difficult times, only made worse with the film making of Mr. Rapp.
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Becoming Bond (2017)
4/10
Painful, neither shaken nor stirred.
21 May 2017
Has the world become so attention deficit disordered that millennials cannot pay attention to anything without LEDs, mentions of technology, the use of words like Bae, Turnt and Lit to describe their life experiences?

I really like Bond, read all the books in a three week stretch when I was 17, have seen all the Bond films up until they became utterly ridiculous (even saw the last one by accident).

Lo and behold, a documentary about George Lazenby, one of the most interesting characters around. To me, a good documentary is comprised of narration, interviews, good old archival footage. Allows me the viewer to enjoy the experiences and times.

This dud though thought I needed a poor recreation of scenes with horrific acting.

10 minutes was all I could take. Thanks for nothing.
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Training Day (2017)
2/10
What happens when everyone sells out?
10 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Training Day, sharing the same name with a super entertaining movie. Unfortunately other than being set in L.A. they share nothing in common. Bill Paxson must be really desperate for cash, as I can't think of any other reason to be in this dud. The black guy (don't know his name, don't care if he lives or dies) has about as much screen presence as a prop chair.

Is this a comedy? because the cheesy one liners make me think that it is. Unfortunately the only one who is laughing is the acting coach that worked with this collection of mutts. I think perhaps they hired a rafting coach, because this ultra-forgettable cast (aside from the bad guy) couldn't act their way out of a paper bag.

The networks wonder why their numbers are quickly dwindling, it's because Netflix and the like would never let a dog like this see the light of day, much less produce more than a pilot.
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High Maintenance (2012–2015)
1/10
Hey everyone, HBO is scouring webisodes for content.
17 September 2016
Remember when HBO was innovative programming like The Sopranos. Well those days are gone now its dungeons and dragons and a show about hipsters buying weed and being gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

So I come to IMDb to read the reviews, guess what, this show started in 2012? So they cruised youtube and are broadcasting that? No wonder Netflix and Amazon are kicking your azz, you refuse to create new content, what's next the Noob videogamer guy?

On to the show, I honestly didn't laugh/smile/chortle even once. There was nothing funny about this.
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Demon Tongue (2016)
1/10
From the non-filmmaker Gavin Rapp
10 September 2016
Coppola, Scorsese these are film makers. Then there's Gavin Rapp. Mr. Rapp, the world needs ditch diggers too. Clearly film making is not your forte, in fact you have an innate ability to completely and utterly fail in every production your in any way involved in. From your film (and I use that term loosely) with Corbin Bernsen to your passion project about your dead mother (we wish she had died before your birth) you display an impressive ability to write and direct absolute unwatchable garbage.

I personally think you should work for the US Government in their torture squad, as you have caused people to want to gnaw off a limb, or gouge their eyes out rather than witness another moment of your "art" and when I use the word "art" what I really mean is excrement coated in vomit topped off with entrails.
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4/10
Mob movie squanders talent
6 August 2016
Let's see, take some of the best mob movie actors David Proval (Sopranos), Paul Sorvino (Goodfellas) and a whole lot of guys who've played on The Sopranos stick them in 1973, in NYC how can you go wrong????

Well this one did, it wasn't so much that it was poorly done, its that it had no feeling whatsoever. I could have stopped watching this at any moment and felt that I missed nothing. Proval was a monster in The Sopranos, the intensity, the malevolence, in this role he plays the heavy, but so unconvincingly, it was like he called it in instead of owning the part.

Sorvino did a passable job, the rest, it was as comical as when Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia did their mafia episode. A stereotype with no depth.
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8/10
Think: Meatballs, Caddyshack any good movie from the 80s
23 June 2016
I have to say that I'm a huge fan of Linklater's trilogy. He's a thoughtful, emotional writer, and in today's world of blow-em-up, sfx them out and based on comic books its nice to watch a movie that's intended for adults.

I honestly felt that I was watching a movie from the late 70s to mid 80s. A fun filled romp with the requisite amount of juvenile delinquency, yet moments of truth and stirring emotions.

The only disappointing thing about the movie is, I wanted MORE!!! Please tell me there's going to be a follow up.

If you're looking for an entertaining watch, that makes you remember what's good about times gone by I recommend highly.
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4/10
I love heist movies
17 June 2016
Heat, Heist, Ocean's 11, The Score. Some great heist movies. Then there's "The Last Heist", which has Henry Rollins in it. You'd think that a man who's so opinionated, is a recognized actor, musician, man of thought would make sure what he's starring in is a decent film. Unfortunately either Henry is out of money, or so desperate to be in a movie that he'll take anything.

A promising beginning, a confrontation between sketchy van driver and Rollins set the stage for a possibly interesting watch. Unfortunately this movie is so cookie cutter, with every cheesy cliché line you can imagine written in. It's so cliché I couldn't even watch another minute past about 20 of them.

The script itself isn't very good, its exacerbated by powerful, powerful overacting by women whom I assume are very good on the casting couch, as based on their talent, I wouldn't cast them in a tampon commercial.

Amazingly enough this dog seems to be a straight to video release. I can't see anyone paying for a seat for this.
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Narcos (2015–2017)
9/10
How to do Television right.
28 August 2015
Since movies have become nothing but shoot-em-ups and comic books television has emerged as the way to get great drama to adults.

Narcos is a tale that everyone knows today, but the storytelling of this series is done with great visuals, interesting casting and a storytelling format which I love.

Using the protagonist as the voice over narrator gives this series the feel of Goodfellas or Casino (two of my favourite movies by the way).

Its extremely watchable and kept my attention the whole time. The scene with Pablo Escobar on the bridge was stunning.

A worthwhile watch, if you have interests in things other than comic books.
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Grand Piano (2013)
1/10
One of those movies that should have never been made.
23 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I love movies about music. Dreyfuss in The Competition, now that's a good movie. I saw a Late Quartet, and they did the best they could with non musicians. In this debacle I was ready to hit the stop button within minutes. When you shoot a movie about cops, you hire a cop as a consultant. That guy tells you that the holster goes around your waist, and not around your head. Medical shows hire doctors and nurses, military shows hire ex-military. This debacle must have hired a doctor, nurse, cop or ex-military to consult on the musical accuracy as they could have not gotten it more wrong.

First off, it's a frickin pianist, not a piano player, trained classical musicians don't refer to themselves as piano players. Second, you need only goto youtube to figure out where the piano goes when performing with an orchestra. Its not on a stage behind, its right next to the conductor. If you were making a movie about baseball would you put the catcher in the outfield??? c'mon frigging do some homework before you make a film about music.

As far as the rest of it, after he got up during the performance and left the stage the movie lost the sliver of credibility it had left.

If you want to suspend disbelief, combine this with Gravity and have the jerk off pianist playing in outer space while George Clooney conducts.

Just because the average person doesn't know what is correct doesn't give the film maker license to spit in the face of the musical world.
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House of Cards (2013–2018)
10/10
Can't stop watching Season 2
16 February 2014
Question: How do you evaporate 47 minutes in the blink of an eye.

Answer: House of Cards

I can't remember who turned me on to season 1, but I watched that in a couple days. I like Kevin Spacey, and I immediately was disgusted and drawn to watching his character grow. While season 1 had some great moments, season 2 is a monster that draws you in with great story telling done by fantastic actors. At moments it seems more like a movie with its cinematic style and it constantly leaves me wanting more.

My favourite show of all time was the Canadian show "Intelligence", it has been surpassed. Won't spoil anything for you, but its a show that one can't stop watching and I'm already sad that I've seen the first 10 episodes of season 2, as there are only a few left then 2015 will be my next dose.
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