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3/10
Overrated Mediocrity. What a Disappointment.
16 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
What a shame!!! That's all i could say as I left the cinema Thursday night, after attending the first showing. Before i start my review for this film, I'd like to share my thoughts on the first three as they were an integral part of my childhood and hold some nostalgic reverence for me as an adult. Mad Max is a film i don't particularly care for as I find it a bit too downbeat and low budget for my taste. It's also visually different from the other three films as it takes place in a vast country wasteland, where as the others take place in dessert locals that give off a more grand scope, that's severely lacking in the first film. The first film also lacks any iconic action scenes or a memorable villain that would become a trademark in the later films. The Road Warrior is a film I enjoy immensely and don't really have much else to add that hasn't already been said by everyone over the last 34 years. Beyond Thunderdome is a film I find disjointed. The one hand all the scenes directed by George Miller are amazing and well done, the thunderdome fight (still one of the greatest in cinema history), and the end chase sequence are exciting and hint at the great film it could have been had he directed the whole movie. The rest of the film however featuring the lost children and anything to do with the people of Bartertown and their politics is just annoying and slow's the movie down to a crawl. The Tina Turner song "We Don't Need Another Hero" however, is classic and one of my favorite songs of all time. So now we come to Fury Road a film I've been looking forward too ever since I saw the first trailer that premiered at Comic Con last summer. The trailer made the film look epic and visually stunning, featuring things we had never seen before on film. Months I waited for it's release and with each day drawing closer and closer, my anticipation grew. Cut to earlier this week as the reviews from many professional film critic outlets came pouring in. They were declaring this film to be a masterpiece and one of the greatest action movies of all time. I couldn't believe what i was hearing and waited with baited breath to see it on Thursday night. Skip to 2 hours and change later and even now as i type this several days later, "WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYBODY RAVING ABOUT!!!!!!". Seriously, I'm as perplexed by all this as other negative reviewers are. This solidifies my thinking that film critics are irrelevant and don't know what they're talking about. Same goes for Rotten Tomatoes a site I won't ever be going on again, they're a joke. Back to the film though, I'm still trying to figure out how something that looked so groundbreaking and revolutionary from the marketing, become so boring and uninvolving as you sit down and watch it in the theater. The answer, the story sucks. Oh wait, I forgot there was no story, just a bunch of chasing and then more chasing, followed by more chasing, before we take a detour in the second act, where our characters literally do nothing but sit around at night, contemplating about the situation they're in and how they intend to get out of it for 30 straight minutes. This section slows the movie down to a Terence Malick sized crawl as we the audience become restless hoping for something to happen soon and happen quick. The cast is also disappointing with Tom Hardy being a poor imitator of Mel Gibson. It's not entirely his fault though as he isn't really the main character. That's right, Max hardly does anything in this movie. Yes, he beats some people up and gets involved in some of the action, however he's merely taking orders from Charlize Theron's character and just seems completely uninterested in everything that goes on around him. Theron is fine in the movie but again is given little to work with. As for the other females, they're not even worth talking about as they barely leave an impression on the audience and are not developed in the slightest. The villain was cool to look at but again underutilized and nonthreatening. The movies looks nice and is fairly well directed by George Miller but has a feeling of a been there done that feel that indicated that George Miller was only interested in creating cool visuals to distract us from his shitty script. Movies need more than pretty pictures to keep us engaged, we need strong characters and story to make us wanna come back and watch a film over and over, which this film fails to do. So in ending this review, I want to say to all the masses out there praising this to the heavens, that you really should ask for more from your movies because if this is what we accept now as good films than cinema is dead my friends. In closing I thought this film was pretty disappointing and now has made me sworn off from seeing anymore Mad Max films in the future. So no I don't recommend this film if u half to see it wait for redbox and watch the first 30 minutes which admittedly are great but be forewarned it all goes downhill after that. Thanks for reading my review.
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Deep Rising (1998)
10/10
One of the best B-movies of all time. I Love It. Great monster flick.
5 May 2015
Plot The captain of a small transport boat, his engineer friend, and a group of badass mercenaries board a seemingly abandoned cruise ship in the middle of the south china sea, unbeknownst to them however, the ship has become taken over by a massive sea monster which fully intends to kill anyone who dares enter it's domain. Also along for the ride are a jewel thief and the ship's owner and captain. The rest of the story plays out as a survival saga as our heroes fight their way off the ship through superior fire power and lots of exploding sea creature anatomy.

This film has been a favorite of mine since i first saw it luckily, back in February 1998 during it's original theatrical run. I'm a huge fan of monster movies and action pictures, so to see a film that combined the two so seamlessly and inventively was a treat. The special effects are top notch with good practical effects work from Rob Bottin of John Carpenter's The Thing fame. Special mention should be given to the half digested man scene which to this day still gives me the creeps. The creature is a well realized menace of pure aquatic terror, resembling a mix between a T-Rex, octopus, snake, and starfish, it truly resembles something one would not want to encounter in real life but also an original beast, one which has it's own uniqueness and personality which hasn't been seen on the big screen since. The CGI to bring the creature to life is great and as good as anything seen in Jurassic Park. The tentacle effects, especially the scenes depicting their movement throughout the ship in pipes and hallways, has a sense of realism rarely seen in monster pictures, the way they slither like a snake and slowly crawl towards their victims before eating them shows a sign in intelligence not just in the main body in the creature but in the the individual parts as well. It's like the tentacles have brains of their own. Besides the effects of the film, which still hold up to this day, the production design and art direction are spectacular, the interior of the ship is incredibly detailed, with the ship before the monster's arrival looking like a luxury resort, filled with bars, a massive staircase, a casino, and a stage area on the main floor, it truly is a paradise on the high seas. I especially like all the touches of Chinese memorabilia and history sprinkled throughout the party room where all the activity of the ship is held. The sets of the ship being abandoned and the halls of the ship being flooded also are well done and do a nice job of showing the geography of the ship and just how massive it truly is. Regarding the performances, special mention must be made of Treat Williams very entertaining Han Solo sequel performance as John Finnegan. Williams brings so much swagger, charm, and self-awareness to the role that u enjoy spending time in his company and hope he makes it to the end in one peace. He also holds his own in the films action sequences especially in a very neat homage to Terminator 2 towards the end of the film involving him, a jet ski, closed elevator doors, and a shotgun. It's very unrealistic and over the top but who cares it' s a hell of a lot a fun. The supporting cast is excellent especially Famke Janssen as the thief/love interest to Williams character. She's a strong female character who holds her own with the men. Kevin J O Connor is funny as Williams comic relief sidekick. Anthony Heald as the owner of the ship has fun as a slimy villain. The actors who play the mercenaries all are good and memorable and have a few bits of funny dialogue during their characters introduction scene. Everyone who was apart of this film seemed to be having a blast making it, which shows in the final film, making it easier for me as an audience member to want to go on the ride. The writing in the film is top notch and is filled to the brim with funny one liners. The direction is just as good, Stephen Sommers the man who would later bring us the Brendan Fraser mummy movies and Van Helsing, knows the kind of film he is making and just goes for broke delivering a completely satisfying monster action movie. He doesn't waste time on needless exposition on what the monster is or where it came from. He directs action well and keeps the film moving at a brisk pace. The look of the film also is of note with almost the entire setting taking place during a thunderstorm, surrounded by pouring rain and low hanging clouds which give the film an ominous atmosphere, further pushing the idea the sense of danger and isolation in which our characters find themselves.

So wrapping up my thoughts I love this movie it's a fun and fast paced thrill ride with good performances, solid direction, a cool and unique creature, and last but not least features one of the coolest movie guns ever put to celluloid (the M1-L1 triple pulse rifle is something to behold). It goes without saying I highly recommend this film and will continue to watch it for many years to come, hopefully with my review I can bring more awareness to the film's existence and it can grow a bigger cult following, it deserves it. So thanks for reading my review and good day.
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Jonah Hex (2010)
9/10
A Great Entertaining Summer Movie
24 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
It's been a while since I've written a review, but after reading all the hate that's been spewed at this film by critics and audiences alike I just felt the need to come out and defend this film.

Jonah Hex stars Josh Brolin as the title character a scarred cowboy bounty hunter who was left for dead and family killed by a psychotic confederate general named Turnbull(John Malkovich) who wanted revenge on Hex, for killing his son during the Civil War. Years later Hex is called on by the President and the military to stop Turnbull, before he decimates Washington D.C. (Spoilers) using a yellow energy ball, that can destroy entire towns (kind of like a nineteenth century nuclear weapon). Oh, and Meagan Fox stars as a prostitute and friend of Hex, who joins him in his crusade to stop evil.

Ya know i got to say i really enjoyed this movie. This film was pure fun from beginning to end just like a summer movie should be. The performances were good all around and i especially liked the southern locations, the filmmakers used to give the film a more supernatural feel. The gadgets were another plus like gattling guns attached to a horse or dynamite shooting crossbows, how can you go wrong with that. There also was some nice humor sprinkled throughout and the movie had a nice look to it. So overall the film was really entertaining and worth my money. Sure it was a bit too short only clocking in at an 1hr. 13 mins but that shouldn't matter as long as the movie is entertaining.

So i definitely recommend people see it. Give it a chance, it's better than what all the haters say. Definite own on blu-ray when it comes out.
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7/10
Very Entertaining Summer Movie
16 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Over the last year G.I. Joe has been one of the most scrutinized film productions in Hollywood history. Things didn't get any better when the trailers were released earlier this year and most people were up in arms about how crappy the CGI looked and how over the top the movie seemed. I however couldm't wait to see this film as i am a big Stephen Sommers fan and have been since i saw Deep Rising in the movie theater back in 1998. So as always i went to see this film opening weekend hoping the negative reviews were wrong and this simply was a good no brianer summmer popcorn movie. Well i'm happy to report i was right. This film was entertaining from start to finish i won't talk about the plot since who goes to G.I. Joe for plot but i will talk about the action. Let me put it this way action scenes in this movie put Michael Bay's Transformers films to shame. The Paris/Accelerator suit chase sequence is one of the best of the decade and is so beautifully shot i had my jaw opened for the duration the sequence was on the screen. Sommers gets huge accolades from me just for keeeping the camera still for most of the film and rarely uses the horrible shaly cam which detaches a viewer from an action scene in my opinion. Sommmers should also get credit for getting good actors to be in this film actors who normally woudn't be in a film like this. The standouts in the cast are Marlon Wayanans, Joseph Gordon Leveitt, and Sienna Miller who plays the Baroness. Wayans was the most surprising as his stupid humor was toned down in this movie but still provided humor when it was needed and most appropriate. Zeveitt was amazing as Cobra Commander and that voice he used for the film should get an Oscar all on it's own. Lastly, Miller looked great in leather spandex and was quite intimidating as the Baroness especially in the early scenes of the movie. Before i end this review i want to point out a couple of negatives. First any parents thinking about bringing a little one to see this film should know that the opening scene of the movie is very gruesome and disturbing (Spoiler it takes place in 17th century France and shows a bad man getting a molten hot mask planted on his face mere seconds after it was pulled from the fire. Let's just say not quite the opening you'd expect from a family friendly movie. Also i do feel the movie goes on a little too long and some dialogue scenes could have been excised to put in a little more action. Lastly, there were too many flashbacks in this film showing how each character relates to the other that should have been put in the sequel and let this have been a simple James Bond inspired adventure story. However, overall the movie succeeded at what it set out to do and entertained me throughout. Definitely check it out.

P.S. The gadgets were great and rivaled anything in the bond pictures. The Accelerator suits Invisible clothes Laser crossbow Missle firing cars Computers that record people's memories while they're dead

Spoiler: Watch for Brendan Fraser's cameo appearance during a Joe training session. Kevin j. O' Connor as the scientist who created the nanobites.
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District 9 (2009)
6/10
Good Movie But A Masterpiece Hell No
16 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
OK for the last 3 months we all have been curious as to what this movie would be like considering the teaser trailer that played in front of Wolverine was mysterious and didn't give much in the way of this film's plot. So finally after months of waiting i caught this film on opening night wanting to see what all the fuss was about. Everywhere i read people were claiming this was a masterpiece, the second coming of sci-fi, and a classic in the near future. Well everyone what i saw on Friday night was good and watchable but nothing like the praise this has received on the internet and your local paper. First let me get to the good points the CGI was amazing for the budget they had especially the aliens and spaceships that were presented in the film (My personal favorite was the ship rising from under the ground and heading toward the mother ship). Secondly it was nice to see aliens that were sympathetic and who you wanted to see make it to the end of the movie. Lastly the entire third act was action packed and made up for a very sluggish slow-moving first two acts that made you consider wanting your movie back. I'm glad I sticked around. Oh yeah the acting was good all around.

OK now for the bad points as i mentioned the first 50 minutes or so are very slow moving and is done in a documentary style as if your watching something off the history channel. For instance as the main plot is going on with the main characters the film suddenly switches to random interviews with scientists and government officials who explain in vivid detail everything that's going on within the scene you are watching. Other complaints i have is the sickening use of shaky cam during acion scenes which make it impossible to see what's going on. I am so sick of this this shaky cam nonsense it adds nothing to the movie it just simply irritates since you know action scenes can be handled properly like old school Schwarzenegger or Steven Seagal movies who used steady cam and where you could see what was going on. So simply stop using this crappy overrated technique. My last complaint has to do with the ending which felt really unsatisfactory and left wide open for a sequel. Spoiler alert: The end of the film consists of Wilkus the main character getting infected with an alien disease which over a 74 hour process will turn him into an alien. After being taken in by the government and temporarily used for weird experiments Wilkus escapes and goes to District 9 to find a cure. While there he meets Christopher the leader of the aliens and his son who tell Wilkus that they can cure him but only with the cannister that Wilkus accidentally sprayed himself with while trying to evict aliens from District 9. Wilkus tells Christopher the cannister is at his job's basement and they'll half to blow it up to get in to retrieve it. They do this successfully and after a huge big battle in District 9 with the corrupt military and evil Nigerian terrorists Christopher while reprogramming the mother ship to go back to his home planet informs Wilkus that the curing process will take 3 years to complete and the real cure is on his home planet. He tells Wilkus he'll come back in three years and cure him. Suddenly after Christopher leaves the planet with his son title credits come up informing the audience all the aliens on planet earth have been moved to District 10. The final two scenes of District 9 are of Wilkus' wife showing the audience a flower her husband gave her followed by Wilkus as an alien in District 9 showing the audience the flower he gave his wife. The End turn the lights up while people in the audience groan and shrug as they realize they have been ripped off thinking they were seeing a stand alone original movie but instead sat through a 105 minute set up for the sequel inevitably called District 10. So overall decent to watch worth seeing once at the theater or DVD but please please don't believe anything these nerdy bloggers have to say on the internet proclaiming this is a masterpiece because it isn't. It's a good movie overblown into something it is not aka The Dark Knight. So to all you nerds out there get a life your overuse of words like masterpiece and classic to describe every movie that comes out makes you seem like the nutcase you really are and makes your arguments seem not only childish but really irrelevant. Make your own mind up as to whether you liked a movie or not don't just listen to the podcasts on the internet and think they are the end all be all. When you do that then i will take your word on movies seriously and you can be a legitimate moviegoer again. Sorry bout the tirade i just had to let it out.
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The Man (2005)
10/10
The Funniest Comedy of the Year In My Opinion
18 September 2005
OK, I know I'm gonna take fire from people on this site for saying this but I found this to be funnier than Wedding Crashers and 40 Year Old Virgin combined and personally will be putting this up there with my all time favorite comedies. Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy star in this film about a federal agent (Jackson) who teams up with a dental supplies salesman (Levy) because a major robbery involving automatic weapons just occurred the night before which led to his dirty partner being killed and an Internal Affairs director connecting the agent to his partner's murder. So the rest of the film involves Jackson bringing Levy along for the ride do to the fact that Levy is mistaken for being the undercover agent that will bust the bad guys in this case a group of British gun running killers. The last time I laughed this hard while at the movies was for 50 First Dates over a year and a half ago so this was a breath of fresh air to go see a comedy that didn't appeal to hormone crazy adults or teenagers for that matter but instead appealed to the average action movie fan like me. The best scenes of the movie are the flatulence jokes, the pool scene, and the he's my bitch sequence towards the end. So I can say whole heartedly that I loved this movie and will be buying this on DVD when it comes out and that people looking for good solid laughs for only a short period of time should definitely run and check this out. P.S. Everyone who says this is a terrible movie and not funny obviously has an agenda against this movie for some reason and has no wide sense of humor.
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Stealth (2005)
10/10
Finally a great summer popcorn Movie
17 August 2005
Finally after a summer full of weak action movies it was nice to see that Rob Cohen has the balls to make a no brainer action flick in the middle of what I like to call "Everything must be enlightening or depressing in order to make a great movie" What Bull!!! (Examples of these type of movies are Million Dollar Baby, Wedding Crashers, 40 Year Old Virgin, Millions, Upside of Anger, Finding Neverland, Napoleon Dynamite, Sideways, March of the Penguins, and Four Brothers) All horrible films by the way The reason I loved this movie is because well it's my type of movie it's got non-stop wall to wall action. The second thing I liked about this movie was the dog fight jet fighter sequences they were cool to look at and were perfct to see on the big screen. Last thing I liked about this movie was it was perfectly paced at 2 Hrs. it moves fast like a Chinese bullet train. So my overall opinion on this movie is it's fun and fast paced like summer movies are supposed to be and it's definitely Rob Cohen's best film to date. Also other movies this movie copies from are Short Circuit (Lightning Strike Sequence) Top Gun (Jet Sequences) Blue Thunder ( Political Sunbplot Technology Aerial Action Thriller) The Bourne Supremacy (Camerawork only thing I didn't like about the movie) XXX (No brain Plot Fun Action Sequences) Wargames (End of the World Computer creates a mind of it's own and almost causes the end of the world) Behind Enemy Lines (Pilot stuck in enemy territory and must fend for themselves) Firefox (Look of the plane) P.S. All you movie critics and moviegoers need to get a life and accept this movie for what it is. Definitely a must buy on DVD and I predict will be a much bigger hit on DVD than it was in theatres. Sad it hasn't done better it definitely deserves it.
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