Change Your Image
hburchfield3
Reviews
Nocturnal Animals (2016)
Rape porn
This film is the perfect example of how bankrupt Hollywood has become. It is pure and simple rape porn. If you enjoy this crap, you can find any number of porn sites to satisfy your perversion and take it to the next level. This is crap. F*** Hollywood. May God send California into the Pacific ASAP.
Cell (2016)
In dire need of a 12-Step program for floundering actors
Obviously, John Cusack needs professional help at this point. As the executive producer and lead actor in this steaming pile of $***, he is either insane, addicted to multiple street and psychiatric drugs, or teetering on the verge of bankruptcy. Please, people, do not enable him by paying to see this movie. He needs to hit rock-bottom before he can recognise that he has turned into a parody of a parody of himself, and should either die or quit acting until someone who is NOT insane can recommend a decent script to him. Again, DO NOT ENABLE John Cusack by patronising this utter garbage. It is up to him to acknowledge he is beyond human aid, that he needs some higher power to restore him to non-crappiness.
Exposed (2016)
Better than the rating; worse than it should have been
A woman leaves a nightclub and, over the objections of her brother-in-law, insists on taking the subway home alone. On the train platform she witnesses an incredible event: an overly well-dressed man with a decidedly albino cast to his features walks on air and levitates above the subway track, peering down the tunnel to see if the train is arriving. He turns, walks back to the platform, and smiles at the woman.
The next day, a crooked police officer is found dead in the same subway station, and one by one, all the associates of the woman disappear or are murdered. She herself begins to witness surreal visions which increase in frequency when she befriends a small girl she suspects to be a victim of sexual abuse.
This movie had the makings of an intriguing plot, as the story expands and we learn more about the various characters and how they are, or may be, related. Unfortunately, the makings of a plot do not equal a plot itself, and this is never more so the case than when the studio edits the film to try to create suspense and mystery that should have been inherent in the original screenplay. The endless flashbacks, vision sequences, and out-of-chronology scenes add nothing to the film but confusion and, oddly enough, tedium. They take a better-than-average premise and turn it into a mess of a movie, saved primarily by the few nuggets of genuine creativity in the plot and the looks and acting of Ana de Armas and the cast who portray her family members.
I gave this film 6 stars, solely because I felt the current consensus of 4.2 is absurdly low. A realistic rating would be in the 5.2 to 5.5 range, in my opinion. As the film is only 90 minutes, you won't waste much time watching it if you happen to disagree.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Do you like going to the zoo? That is the question ...
Although I was a fan of the Harry Potter series, I had no preconceived notions or requirements for this stand-alone movie, other than an expectation that J.K. Rowling would not disappoint.
Nonetheless, I was disappointed. The first half of the movie is basically an overlong visit to a CGI-created zoo. We watch as the protagonist hunts down a half dozen or so "fantastic beasts", mostly one at a time and in extended chase sequences. If you do not enjoy visiting zoos or watching car chases (which have the same dynamic as animal chases, no matter how exotic the species), you may be bored. I certainly was.
The second half of the movie is more engaging, as loose strands from the first are finally woven into a conventional good vs. evil morality play. But even here, virtually every turn in the plot is easily predictable, as Rowling uses the same pro- Muggle/anti-Muggle dynamic employed in the Potter series to define her characters, plus an ironically preachy lesson in the harmful nature of organised religion. Fortunately, the actors, particularly the good guys and gals, are able to overcome the limitations of the script so that I couldn't help but like them and cheer them on. The cinematic recreation of early 20th century New York is also well done.
However, on the whole, I think Rowling is capable of better work than this. For movie-goers content to be dazzled by special effects, this film may do the trick. For those who want more than a formulaic "Hagrid saves the world" knock-off, the film will probably seem much longer than its two hour running time.