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The Girl on the Train (2014)
Pretentious and awful.
This is the worst movie I have ever seen. It's pretentious and senseless, the dialogue so unreal that you can't possibly hope to get into the movie in earnest. The characters are unlikable and I only watched it through to the end because I kept hoping the end would make up for...well, the entire rest of the movie. It didn't. But it's my fault, I had a feeling this movie wasn't going to go well. The very beginning is from the perspective of the main character - whose name I have already mercifully forgotten - and he's going on and on about the creepiest ideas of "love" at first sight that quickly devolves into stalking. It's a frustrating mix of "artsy" arrogance and teenage angst. Don't waste your time.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians (2007)
Has not even one good quality.
Everything about this show is awful. It's "reality TV" but we all know that it is scripted. Even worse, this fake crap only serves to boost the careers of a family that is famous for two things: 1) amateur porn and 2) the OJ Simpson trial, and more so number 1 than number 2. It's sad that people eat this stuff up like a pig in front of a trough. I think it says something about a person who regularly ingests the lies this family tells as their form of entertainment.
Making all this nonsensical babble even worse is the dumb girl, vocal fry they've all adopted. They're like parakeets. Stoned, plastic parakeets. All repeating each other while trying to get something passably familiar to human emotion across their botoxed faces.