Reviews

Ten minutes into the first episode and I was hooked completely. I love me some footie, simple as, and what happened to Özil should be criminal--to me that's the obvious foundation for this story. I'm also a huge fan of Felix Kramer's character, he gave me serious Rake vibes. You know, the tornado of bad decisions, misfortune, and fornication where things just barely work out.

I binged the whole series in one day and each episode I was more excited for than the last. Terrific acting, great dialogue (both in German and the subtitles), and really interesting side plots made this a compelling watch and I didn't regret it...until the last episode and a half. You see, there's a certain event that was foreshadowed from the very beginning of the series and subsequently in the beginning of each episode that I couldn't wait to see happen; essentially the other episodes reveal the buildup to how this event occurred. Unfortunately the further in I got, the more I realized the 20+ subplots were never going to be realized. And once that specific event went down in the final episode I was incredibly disappointed. The lack of a violent body count frustrated me, but more than that it was cheaply produced and weak. I'm fine with series working within limited budgets, but when literally all of it builds to a penultimate sequence and it feels worse than a TV commercial I can't be satisfied. Compounding all that is a tremendous amount of narrative threads that aren't resolved. And by that I mean literally all of them, including the central string.

I know writing an end is very difficult, particularly if it's expected to be continued, but to have ZERO endings to ANYTHING says to me that it should never have been made in the first place. Your mileage may vary, but be prepared for new and interesting plots to be introduced even into the final episode and then left hanging. Since it's 2024 and this came out six years ago, there's really no hope.

This movie is abhorrent in every single way that matters, except the action scenes. It has innumerable cliches and I can't believe they're using THIS one to tentpole a franchise. It's a complete step backwards.

From the kid questioning which side he's on and getting a hundred people killed, to the standoff between opponents with hostages and the whole "put your gun down" scenario, to utter nonsense like being able to running headshot guys a hundred feet off but magically missing the plot characters.... I mean, the writers on this were never told "no, that's dumb" by anyone.

Compared to the first, where the kid did what he was told and never went rogue, the kid in this one is a giant ball of mistakes. I'm an adult, watching a film for adults, and I want to be treated like an adult. If producers and writers can't come together, funded by tens of millions of dollars, and construct something more engaging than this, then I have zero hope left for the industry.

Despite what the trailer shows, there are zero epic battles. There are hardly any "screenshot-worthy" scenes either--less than ten. It's also extremely over-dramatic and half an hour too long at least.

But it's fun.

I have tried half a dozen times to get into the anime, but I cannot force myself to enjoy something with that "quality" of animation, and beyond that even the loud-mouthed, obnoxious, and totally-unrelatable protagonist spoil enjoyment. I can't commit my time to seeing a grouchy child not be smacked to pieces by the adults in the room.

This movie, sadly, has the same unworthy protagonist, but at least I can say that the producers translated that perfectly and the main actor followed instructions to the t. It is, however, entertaining. No modernization at all, no attempt to shoehorn contemporary mores into a story older than Jesus, no deeper meaning other than being fun.

That's what a movie should be. Kingdom is fun to watch. While the details are obviously skipped over because of its format, the rags-to-general story clearly takes its shape. The side characters, despite no backstory, are all acted flawlessly so their motivations are natural and slot with expectations rather well. Good directing makes the "feel" seem more Western than Eastern, but that's good in my book as the Western style is more palatable.

I can recommend this is you want to be entertained and can look past its flaws. It is not arthouse, it's not a HanCinema kind of deal, but it doesn't need to be. Definitely going to binge the second movie right now.

It's no real secret that the first episode of R&M is awful considering most reviews on here state the same, whether they are positive or negative overall. And it is. It's so confusing and probably gatekeeps the majority of people who want to give this a shot.

Endure. Endure even the second and third episodes that are only marginally better (although still confusing and poorly directed). After more pieces of the puzzle slide into place this series becomes a legendary revenge experience.

The best part? Everyone gets what they deserve, AND there's a happy ending. I can't honestly recall the last revenge show or movie that had both of those ingredients and managed to pull it off successfully; usually there's a last second twist or hiccup that spoils things, or a melancholy conclusion, or something unnecessary that ruins it all. Not here. The ending is perfect, and it will make both thriller fans and romance fans quite satisfied.

Push past the abysmal beginning and you won't be disappointed.

First season was an original, enchanting, fantastical experience that demonstrates not everything good needs to be an adaptation. It wasn't flawless; the pacing was off, the flashbacks irritating, and the tone was a bit negative for my taste. Still, it displayed a style not really seen outside video games and cartoons, and it did it with excellent production values and believable acting. Easily a 9/10.

Season two is what happens when everyone involved with production simultaneously forgets to take their antidepressants. It is so dim, so overwhelmingly negative, and with an ending that is so utterly lame I honestly thought I was hallucinating and it couldn't actually be playing out like this. I waited near four years for this meal and what I received was a table set for the psych ward. Not one single positive scene happens in the entire ten episode series. Absolutely everything is doom, gloom, depression, chaos, hamfisted politics, and to cap it all off all the romances that mattered are wrong and comeuppances are nonexistent. This speaks nothing to the abundant sideplots and diversions to the point Philo and Vignette actually have the least screen time of any.

I can see by browsing reviews that anything negative will be thumbed down to oblivion, but Carnival Row should have never received a second season. I would not get invested if I knew how it ended, and I certainly would not have suffered through ten episodes of sadness to see how it wrapped up.

I'm an avid fan of the novels. I've read the first few at least half a dozen times over the years, and I was predestined to hate this show. In fact, I held off on it for a year and a half until I finally decided to dive in and get my rage train steaming.

The first three or four episodes floored me with their faithfulness. I was so excited to the point I quoted lines out loud and just like that, out of the actors' mouths they came. I couldn't believe in the current year that Hollywood writers would actually take a backseat and let the original text speak for itself.

Then the changes began. Minor ones that didn't really matter; for example, swapping an airport for a train station. I get it, filming in the world's busiest terminal is not going to be easy, not even with infinite Bezosbucks. It didn't make a difference since the scene still played out the same. Then huge changes just hit out of nowhere. You'll know it if you read the books and it was like a blindside gut punch. What really got me angry was, like 100% of Hollywood "adaptations," they were 100% unnecessary. The original story was already impeccable, obviously, otherwise Amazon wouldn't have spent untold millions producing it and Child wouldn't still be writing them going on thirty years. Good changes? Only one I can think of: Neagley. Other than that it just proves to me that scriptwriters are jealous and frustrated at their lack of personal success and instead find glee in twisting what doesn't need to be twisted.

Even so, I watched all eight episodes straight through with only toilet breaks. I loved the movies with Tom Cruise, but Ritchson is far, far closer to my mental image of what Reacher would look like. A bit more body builder and a bit less Army body, sure, but his characteristics, mannerisms, and delivery means the casting department crushed it. The rest of the actors were excellent as well, particularly Willa Fitzgerald and the mayor, but I simply cannot get around the fact that changes were made when none were required.

Still worth watching. Double so if you've never read the book.

I've been waiting four years for something to scratch my Madam Secretary itch, and when The Diplomat popped up I immediately started watching.

It's fantastic. The acting is brilliant, some of the emotions, little expressions, positioning during scenes...it's all absolutely incredible. Directed and carried out by real professionals and the use of subtlety is masterful.

The issue is the ending. Cliffhangers are a natural part of any series, obviously, and from a business perspective probably in the top two or three most important things behind star power and perhaps trailer editing. But here, the momentum was only JUST beginning to increase when all of a sudden it's over. There's a penultimate scene, then credits roll. This should not have been eight episodes, it should have been ten, because even though I loved all of it I'm left completely unsatisfied.

I get why it doesn't have good reviews: it's not a masterpiece. There are no Oscar-worthy acting jobs, no mind-blowing CGI scenes like Avatar or Gravity, no earth-shattering narrative strands to hook you deep and make you remember this one for years to come.

But it's entertaining. There is very little in terms of belief suspension, and as a whole it's a throwback to late '80s and early '90s action movies where every single thing didn't need to be a political statement or social tie-in. It's fun. Movies are for entertainment. They're supposed to make you FORGET about reality for a couple hours. And Hunter Killer is exactly that: quality, action-packed good times for two hours.

Highly recommend unless you're a wannabe critic snob.

I love disaster movies. I love big budget movies with tons of special effects, ridiculously over-the-top stakes, and lots of things that explode in my face. I also love most of Roland Emmerich's movies for precisely that reason (and yeah, I think Midway is one of the finest modern war movies).

Moonfall has all of that but, like the pit so many other disaster films fall in to, it tries to "ground" the epic plot with unneeded melodrama. It has a stupid subplot with the children of the leads, and some of the things there are far dumber than the main story that it boggles my mind. It's not exactly Dakota Fanning in War of the Worlds level of ruining the entire experience, but it's pointless, boring, and even more it detracts from everything. I do not care about them at all. And thanks to this, the whole film runs about 20 minutes longer than it should have, and yeah, it's noticeable.

If someone makes a fan edit that deletes the whole subplot after Vandenberg, then yeah this is definitely an 8 or a 9. Otherwise get ready for pain. (Feel free to fast forward these bits, you will not miss anything.)

The whole tone of the film is just wrong. It might have the title and the same director, but it's totally different.

This probably would have been a really solid 7-8/10 film if it had a different lineage, but it doesn't. We've all come to expect quips and jokes and comical violence, but none of that is present here. Besides one or two brief flashes it's all just serious business from start to finish. Dead wife, dead son, boo hoo I literally don't care. It's worse because the protagonist is a bumbling fool, nothing like the elite fighters from the first two.

It's sort of worth the two hour investment, but just expect something totally different and not in a good way. The only real redeeming quality here are the sweet historical references (revisions really, but in a classy way not like something from Disney). As a history buff I got significant amusement from that. Otherwise just pass.

Without a doubt this is a feminist power fantasy. And that's fine. Literally, I don't care. I don't care that there are dozens of scenes of women "putting men in their place," or women "experiencing" barracks life, or MEN acknowledging that women are superior warriors.

There are two things that totally spoil this film for me. First is the scene where Mulan "whistles" for her horse and it comes to save her. What? Before this there was nothing to indicate she was a part of the cavalry. In fact, the previous H O U R was about her training as an infantryman, and not only that, but a spearman. She spent "28" days in training to be a spearman, but magically she becomes a cavalry soldier when the big bad macguffin of an avalanche requires it.

The other thing that ruins Mulan is history. As a preface I am not particularly versed in Eastern...uh, history...but from what little I know, there are verified accounts of basically-unlimited battles where each side numbered in the hundreds of thousands. Dating back three or more thousand years. The denouement of Mulan is that a bunch of farting, stinky, ball-sniffing men led by a woman overcomes the thinly-disguised military of the Jurchens/Mongols. There are about 15 of them. At first I was skeptical because the "regiment" was around a hundred dudes, but towards the latter third of the film it became barely a dozen. What? You're telling me twelve people defended the "Empire" against what is historically proven to be like half a million horsemen? Nah.

Anyway the costumes are the best I've ever seen, same with the B-roll China panoramas. Only reason I can't give this a zero.

Don't bother if you're even mildly educated.

A few Wilhelm screams, an homage to all three Indiana Jones films (+the Mummy), and predictable banter between the Rock and Reynolds does not make an interesting product. Adding some "ha ha double crosses" along with "ha ha celebrity triple crosses" isn't entertainment, it's just predictability for anyone with more than twelve brain cells. I have no idea how this cost two hundred million dollars because even the ironically-poor special effects are worse than something from the '50s.

Every single aspect of this experience is cliche. Every aspect is predictable. The dialogue has no nuance. The "chemistry" between the leads is manufactured and only plays off our expectations from their past roles. Throwing what I assume is a popular hip hop tune at the end while some CGI sun flares go off behind the Louvre and everyone walks away from the camera with sunglasses on does not blind me to the waste of two hours I just experienced. Nice try, but I know psychology and I know what you're trying to do.

If your IQ is above what a shiny stone would measure, there is nothing that will surprise you. There might be a couple jokes that make you go "ha!" halfheartedly, but if you're looking for that sort of thing you don't need to spend two hours fishing, you can just go to Youtube and search for cat videos.

Anyone who has taken an English or writing class at any level of education will have had the "show, don't tell" mantra drilled into their skulls...but whoever wrote this drivel must have skipped pretty much every lesson. The whole movie people marvel about how much of a legendary badass murderer James Ford (WIllis) is, but it's literally never shown. Nothing about his acting, his lines, or the scenes he's in demonstrate why, exactly, he's the "bloody general." Well, unless you count firing a bazooka with less impact than WW2 counterpart at about fifty feet in a room.

The entire movie is directed like a commercial or video game trailer. There are so many great shots with really (and I mean REALLY) good special effects that are framed well and accompanied by meaty, impactful sounds. But spliced between these interesting sequences are minutes and minutes of exposition with dialog that doesn't flow whatsoever. In fact, the whole plot is just five minutes stretched into ninety with almost all filler. The fact Cosmic Sin could be edited down to trailer-length and it would improve the experience a billion times is just sad.

And yeah, like most low-budget VODs, Bruce and Frank have about fifteen minutes screen time between them.

Unlike a lot of other reviewers, I enjoyed Warrior immediately. I love ignorant people getting their faces knocked in by an unexpected force, and it hooked me fast. But it only took a couple episodes for me to notice that the series was run by an idiot: it was drowning in subplots. In fact, Ah Sahm has less screen time than a drunken Irish gambling addict--so much to the point this should have just been titled "O'Hara's Lessons: How Not To Be." There are subplots with arranged marriages, subplots with Washington power movers, subplots with very sad Civil War anecdotes, subplots with...well, it doesn't even matter.

Episode nine (of season one) killed it for me. The term "macguffin" isn't quite right, but there's a turn of events so unbelievably stupid that I lost 100% of my remaining interest. The fact this isn't based on something like a novel or game and is an original production beyond a concept reveals to me that the showrunner and/or writers are braindead and out-of-touch. This particular "macguffin" wasn't interesting fifty years ago, it wasn't interesting when Game of Thrones did it, and it's not interesting now. It's actually insulting to the viewer and their time.

Thus, this series is not worth your time. I don't care if season two has the best redemption arc of all time, nothing could save this from its own subplots and incompetent direction in my opinion.

I was fascinated by the tone of season one; it was sometimes cheesy but mostly had a gripping atmosphere somewhere just shy of horror where nothing was explained and things only teased at making sense.

Season two is trash. There are entire filler episodes with sub-characters and side plots that either go nowhere or are just unflinchingly boring. I don't care about cross-species and politically-correct relationships, or romances with humans, or all the other Congregation shenanigans. Discovery is exceedingly weak in these parts because the characters are one dimensional at best and have the worst dialog this side of sparkly vampires. Season two also has several instances of good actors (ie, Goode and Palmer) in talking scenes with counterparts who would be shamed in a high school play. It's awkward, cringeworthy, and has no place tonally.

I'd recommend just reading spoilers for season two to save your time.