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The First Omen (2024)
A worthy prequel
Not the masterpiece it's being hailed as but it's certainly well made and acted.
As for gripes I felt the plot points and story were either a re tread of the original or things we have seen many many times before. Especially the kills were repeats of already iconic deaths in the original. Also some scenes were lifted directly from other films (the convulsion scene is right out of Possession). The twist was obvious from the get go and its a little too long I felt. That said I did enjoy it
Where this film shines is in its direction, cinematography and performances. It is not a jump scare ladden 14A cash out. There is a real vision and weight to every scene. Its very well crafted and executed even if some if it feels like a re tread its a very well made one. It absolutely
captures the feel like 70s film making especially in the beginning. The way it flows and camera work. If you slapped it on a grainy 16mm film stock you could have fooled me. There is an artistry behind the lens here that elevates this beyond what one would expect from an Omen prequel in 2024.
The lead performance too by Nell Tiger Fell, she's outstanding.
Even with the hype I went in not expecting anything ground breaking and I don't feel we got anything we havent seen before. But what we did get is an extremely well crafted and gloomy horror flick that exceeded my expectations. Easily the best besides the original and well worth a trip to the theatre for.
6.5/10.
Crash (2004)
The subtlety of a semi truck
Crash is an unrelenting bludgeoning of clichés and has about as much depth as dirty dish water. This applies to every scene, every character and every line of dialog. It has to be the single most ham fisted attempt at tackling racism ever filmed. I'm astonished at the ammount of praise that has been lavished upon this turd. Its so paint by numbers pandering melodrama trash my brain melted on to the theatre floor. It plays out like a bad lifetime network movie and is so sure of itself it's almost comical. I was truly bewildered when speaking to people about this movie after it came out. It's so so so bad yet no one I've talked to felt the same yet in this instance I know Im not worng. It is terrible and they all seemed to fall for this emotional con job of a film. Of course it also won best picture. Which also happened to be the last time I watched the Oscars.
This film was kind of a turning point for me. Or just solidified what I already knew. Hollywood is about image and not substance. Mediocrity is often rewarded and the safer you play it the better your chance of winning the prize.
Crash is the definition of Oscar bait. And many fell for it hook line and sinker.
Electra (1996)
Need for Tweed
This zero budget sci-fi shlock fest has a little something for everyone!
A paralyzed evil jerk named roach is sick of bumming around with his letherclad hench women. He wants to walk again and his only ticket is a serum that flows through the blood of young Billy. This serum guves Billy super powers. Problem is you see the only way to get the serum is through sexual transmition. So he needs to kidnap Billy and get him laid then bang the woman he sleeps with. What?! Oh and Billy's MOM has the hots for him. Yes. His MOM. I'll say no more. This movie goes so off the rails with its plot. And with an adequate amount of humor (intentional and unintentional), nudity, gore and cheap effects this is a B movie lovers dream and %100 worth seeking out
Fun blooper reel at the end of the vhs I have. Scoop this up if you're into cheap thrills!
The Outwaters (2022)
Bone dry
Just finished watching and I'm with most reviewers on here. There are some interesting ideas buried in the mix but over all its a shallow experience.
I'll break it down to what worked and what didn't for me
The good
The premise and the setting were cool. It all could have lead to something great and I kept wishing it would hit its mark. It does crack the surface in the last 30 min or so with some interesting shots and lighting usage (that is used throughout the film ) and the few times it actually clicks it is effective. It's just to bad it wasn't in a better movie
The bad
Basically the entire execution of this film as a whole. Zero character establishment off the bat. We really get no sense of who these people are. They kind of just aimlessly drift around and are so incredibly void of anything to connect with. The brother almost wasn't even there. Our protagonist has zero charisma and all I know about him is he wears shorts and doesn't say much and might have a bad relationship with his mom (that was also barely set up)
The use of music over "raw footage" absolutely detracts from it feeling authentic
As mentioned above there are a cppl times the camera tricks work but over all its a jumpy mess of rocks and dirt and plants and ants. Then more rocks. Flashlight flicks on and off and ya never see anything scary on the other end.
The story felt like the made it up as they went which sometimes works but does not here. I'm still not entirely sure of what was going on i have a vague idea of time loops, cosmic horror but I'm not going to try and put it together because I ultimately don't really care all that much
In the end i would not recommend this movie. It's tedious, tiresome and any pay offs are so few and far between its not worth slogging through to get to them. That said there was a good movie buried in here somewhere. It's a shame it's not the one we got to see.
Infinity Pool (2023)
Meet your maker
Just got home from the theatre and am happy to say Infinity Pool is just as off the wall crazy as Possessor while still being a very different movie. I think now when people say a movie "feels like a Cronenberg" we will have to differentiate if it's David or Brandon. They both have thier own unique style and it's awesome to see.
Alexander and Mia are both incredible and totally uninhibited as one would need to be when working with this material. The film deals with classism in a twsited but never ham fisted way. The story takes a bit of time to build. Where as Possessor hits you in the gut in the opening 10 minutes Infinity Pool takes a bit more time to let the madness unfold. But once the story really gets rolling there's no looking back.
Another strong entry from Brandon Cronenberg. Hes one to watch out for and its fair to say after Infinity Pool he holds equal weight in his name sake.
9/10.
Cannibal ferox (1981)
Seen it before but this time had to turn it off
The animal killings really got me this time. I fast forwarded before but that badger or whatever animal that was that they tied up to feed to a python while it was screaming for its life. That was actually stomach churning disgusting. Absolutely senseless garbage and there is zero defence. I've had this talk many times with people. It's weird I've seen this before and knew it was coming but i let it play a little and it was so awful I just can't even watch the rest now. It's as low as you can go for shock value. Maybe im getting too soft as I get older but ya this movie sucks anyway minus the cppl decent gore bits. It's a slog. Most Cannibal movies are.
Pearl (2022)
Mamma Mia!
Saw Pearl last night and I can't shake it. I haven't seen a movie like this in quite some time! I left the theatre happy but the more I think about it the more I love it.
Firstly...Mia Goth. Wow. I've been a huge fan and supporter of her. Her level of comment to even the most insane of scenes and roles has been incredible but here she is a tour de force. You can't take your eyes off her and she deserves all the praise she is receiving for Pearl. She must be a directors dream and I always knew really given the chance to shine Mia would slay the screen. She is absolutely incredible here. I loved her already but this just solidified what I already knew. Shes amazing thank you Ty West for giver her a vehicle to go all out and Bravo Mia!!!!
Secondly I loved breezy fly by the seat story telling. This is where the fact it was written and filmed so quickly actually enhances the movie. It's a simple premise but the amount of crazy stuff that takes you from A to B keeps you glued. It was allowed to breath and flow and explore and I dug every minute of it.
Thirdly its connection to X. Literally night and day movies but Pearl will make you like X even more which is always a concern that the prequel will take away from the original. But nope not the case here at all. I have more of an appreciation for X after seeing Pearl
Lastly of course they will be compared so I'll just say that I liked X a lot but I truly LOVED Pearl. And I think it will go down as an exploitation classic in the future.
Very stoked to see what Maxxxine brings. And any more screen time with Mia Goth means I'll be there opening night.
Night Screams (1987)
Gory slasher shlock
Night screams is awsome if you are aware of what you're getting into. It won't be getting a criterion release anytime soon but for those who are looking for a violent slasher with a high kill count you'll wanna pick this up. It is filmed a little too dark in points but it's still a sick lil flick I'm glad I got a vhs copy recently.
The Silent Partner (1978)
Silent Sleeper/Shocker
Man oh man I loved this flick! First off I love movies that are unabashedly filmed/take place in Toronto. It's my home town and I always get a kick out of it. You get to see retro Toronto (Eatons center) in all its glory. Also it has JOHN CANDY in a minor bit role but still awesome to see. CHRIS PLUMMER is quite menacing and his disguises are cinematic gold. ELLIOT G is incredible in it too. It's sleazy and violent in parts too I was pretty surprised. Almost has a grindhouse feel. This is a darkly funny, gritty, sleazy and violent little cat and mouse thriller. And yes it is thrilling! An all around a real excellent flick!
Dandy Dust (1998)
Nothing like it
Absolutley insane mixed media fever dream. The colours, the sets and the characters are birthed from the basment of an acid damaged art house on Jupiter. Tragressive / transgendered / transdimensional. I am in love with this film.
Men (2022)
Mess
Men is a miss. It had a lot of promise and had it been fleshed out it could have been great. Ultimately though its a half baked story at best. I'd have rather they left it completely ambiguous as to the origins of what is happening here. Instead they lean into a vague folklore that should have been explained fully if it was to be introduced. It really could have played up the gaslighting and anxiety but as the third act rolls around I was as ambivalent as our protagonist was to the grotesque body horrors unfolding. There was a great premise here but it really fails to deliver anything genuinely scary or memorable. 5/10.
Norm Macdonald: Me Doing Standup (2011)
His best
I love all things Norm and I strongly feel this is his best stand up special. With Norm it's about the journey not the punchline and he will take you down a lot of roads on this one. It's dark, it's honest, it's insightful and most of all its hilarious. It actually gets funnier the more you watch it. It's so sad he is gone there will never be another like him. RIP King Norm.
The Northman (2022)
Loud, bloated but still worth a watch
I had high hopes for the Northman. I am a huge fan of Eggars previous two films and although there were aspects I liked in this film it never fully clicks. Ultimately I was left kinda disappointed
First off the run time is needlessly long 30 min could have easily been shaved off. For eggars films I always feel less is more. This is certainly his biggest movie and most Hollywood feeling and I think had he shown more restraint it could have been much more effective. Instead it's loud pounding drums, wailing voices and screaming for 2 and a half hours. I kinda felt like it ran out of tricks 1/4 of the way through. I hated the cgi. I also at first liked that it was kind of ambiguous with the mystical and supernatural but then goes full throttle into it. Idk it is certainly not a bad film it's incredibly well made and visually stunning at times.
Also its not nearly as violent as people are making it out to be.
Worth a watch but it is certainly the weakest of his 3 films and by a wide margin.
He went really big here and I hope this is as big as he goes.
Ex-Cop (1993)
Quintessential AIP madness
If you are a fan of AIP studios and are familiar with caliber of cinematic magnificence they offer then you will NOT be disappointed by EXCOP. From the moment the title card flew into place in that horrendous cheesy font I knew I was in for a good time. Ridiculously cheesy over top fun. Equal parts buddy cop action, slasher, comedy and ballet recital! The bad guy is amazing in this he had me howling. Some decent violence and incredible dialog. For sure track this one down its a riot!
Licorice Pizza (2021)
What?
An utterly boring collection of meandering disconnected scenes. Featuring Tom Waits. Need I say more?
Idk why people love this crap. Of course it's nominated for best picture...
ZzzZzZzzzzZz.
X (2022)
Cool throw back slasher
I quite enjoyed it! A mix of Texas chainsaw and eaten alive . Maybe a dash of motel hell too. But it's certainly it's own thing. Loved the editing. Tense and creepy and ridiculous and gory. Also liked the characters and no one felt like like throw away. Can't complain really aside from I felt the ending was leading to something bigger but I was still satisfied. It's oddly tender too. Absolutely worth checking out!
City of Shadows (1987)
Thriller in the big smoke
I'd say give this surprisingly gritty canadain thriller a go. Is it cheesy and bad? Yes. Some parts are laughable. But it also kicks ass in some scenes and has a gritty feel and look throughout. Glad I snagged a vhs copy recently. Worth checking out!!
Cock'd Gunns (2007)
Love this show
Forget the haters in the reveiws. This show is really well written and pretty funny. I loved it when it was on and was stoked to see its on Tubi now. The characters spot on. Especially the art gallery episode. I've known these people in real life (the characters not the actors). It's only 1 season and definitely worth the watch. Hidden Canadian gem.
Monsters Inside: The 24 Faces of Billy Milligan (2021)
Worst yet
This is the worst example of one of these cookie cutter Netflix docs. Literally could have been one episode and even then it may not have been very good. This is ridiculous tho I couldn't finish it. Boring disjointed bloated crap.
Back in Action (1994)
Dope
Dope ass movie. Roddy and Billy bring the brawl. HIIIYAA!!
The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
Glorious depravity
There are two movies in my life that upon viewing made me say "I can't believe movies like this exist". The first was when I was at a Halloween party in high school and there was a small TV playing Holy Mountian. Everything around me ceased to exist I was locked in having my 17 year old mind blown wide open. The second time was when I rented Blood Sucking Freaks...
I was maybe 20 years old. Already a seasoned vet in the horror genre. I had been watching and renting horror flicks from when I was 10. Figured I'd seen it all But when I popped this in what unfolded before me made me feel so disgusting , so dirty and so nervous that I couldn't shake it days after. And tbh i never have. Its that impact full. There is an insurmountable level of grime one feels after completing a viewing of this film. I struggle to think of what even reaches this level of sadistic madness. And All while being funny too! Sardu and Ralphus are the demonic duo . A match made in hell if there ever was one.
The music the lightning the cheap effects add to the ..can I say charm?..
It's so over the top in its sadism and so grimey it almost feels like a forbidden film.
There is still nothing like it. Even today I'd put blood sucking freaks up to any gore/shock/shlock movie of recent vintage.
And i say this with the utmost sincerity
it has to be seen to be believed
I love this film.
Ps
I met Joel m reed years ago and he was really funny. RIP sweet prince and thank you for warping my mind forever.
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Fizzles out mid way
STRONG start! It gets its tentacles wrapped around you and slowly looses its grip midway without taking a big enough bite of your brain to leave a lasting impression. I think they tried to cram too much while also slowing the pace down. I felt the marble episode was the turning point. It really dragged its feet even tho it introduced so much more story. Had they trimmed the fat and maybe kept it to only a few episodes it could have been great but ultimately it more sinks than swims by the end.
Malignant (2021)
A riot. Ppl giving it bad reviews are completely missing the intent
Just got back from seeing this and it was a total riot! For the love of god don't read any spoilers tho just go in blind. Wasnt sure where it was headed but was hollering by the end. Turn off your brain and let the madness unfurl.
Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs (1985)
Childhood fever dream
This is such a gem! I just found a vhs copy at the thrift store popped it in and holy moly I remember watching this as a kid so many times! A couple scenes I could not for the life of me remember where I saw them or if they even existed at all. The pterodactyl in the garden, the transformation of our host. Perhaps they were some figment of my youthful imagination. But no! They do indeed exist and right here on this glorious tape. Its really fun and entertaining. Pretty wild it has a 9/10 on imdb that's not easy to do! Well deserved. This is a fossil in itself now but I'll tell ya unearthing ths video today is just as exciting as digging up your favorite dino.
This Is a Robbery: The World's Biggest Art Heist (2021)
This is a robbery...of your time
Holy moly are these Netflix docs really reaching these days. They stretched what should have been a tight 45 min doc into a 4 episode 4hr slog. They veer off in so many directions with pointless interviews and filler.
Its bad when you can tell its filler.
It seems to be a trend lately to make these dime a dozen docs as long as possible instead of making them ya know...good. Look I get ppl are bored but you can't sacrifice quality for an over blown run time. Even if more eyes on the screen means more $$$.
This was a snoozer and gets a heavy pass from me.
Gets a sympathetic 3/10 for buddy who had all that duct tape on his hair.