Reviews

4 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
Primeval (2007)
3/10
are you serious?
14 January 2007
A gigantic crocodile that thinks? Come on. This is basically a mix of Lake Placid and Tears of the Sun, both of which are infinitely better than this movie. Primeval's attempt to use a movie about a killer croc to show the genocide taking place in civil war ravaged Africa is not only shameful, but downright laughable.

The acting is better by the stand-in African bushmen than it is by the American "actors." Dominic Purcell and Brooke Langton are only in this movie for their aesthetic appeal. And Orlando Jones is the token African American comedic relief. The cinematography is the best part of this movie, showing the landscapes and culture of the African people.

I went to this movie because I have a free pass. I feel sorry for you if you spent money on this joke. Bottom Line: Awful movie, even if you're drunk
14 out of 30 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2001 Maniacs (2005)
1/10
Pile of crap
11 December 2006
I am doing this movie a favor, giving it a 1. Not only was it insanely boring, it wasn't funny and the nudity was sub-par. I mean come on, there is no other reason to watch a movie like this than to see gratuitous nudity, of which there is none.

Robert Englund has sunk to the bottom of the horror movie barrel. I mean a movie about a cannibal village in the middle of nowhere that people just magically go to? My dog can write better stories than that.

The special effects are beyond horrible, outdone only by the vile acting and premise to this story. If you have a choice between this movie and watching gay porn, chose gay porn.

This movie is beyond bad. Deserves to be in the bottom 100 if you ask me.
4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Troy (2004)
1/10
God-Awful
11 June 2006
Not only was it boring, it was so flawed with cinematic and historical errors, its laughable. Why is it that thousands and thousands of people are in battle, yet no one's armor is damaged. Its like they change outfits. And where is Helen throughout this whole thing?

Don't get me started on the acting. Brad...stick to making babies with Angelina b/c your acting skills have been shot down the crapper.

This was epic garbage. Anyone who gives this movie a decent rating should not be trusted or allowed to rate anything again. Eric Bana....you have failed me...oh wait, that was you in the Incredible Hulk...you failed me again
2 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Uncle Sam (1996 Video)
1/10
In my top 10 worst movies of all time
11 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Rented it purely b/c it says "He wants you...DEAD." Unbelievably bad movie, with sub par acting, so called "special" effects that weren't so special, and a story that didn't make sense to my drunk roommates. If there is a bright side to this story, and I doubt there is, it is when the family receives their dead brother home in a casket, only to place him in the living room like furniture. Son/Brother/Husband, died in battle, flown home, and his family puts him in the living room in his casket. Absolutely priceless film making.

Utter crap. Good for a laugh thats about it. Check out the fact that his son actually likes to hang out with his dead dad that has half his face blown off and tells him to go around killing people like his mom. Absolutely amazing really.
1 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed