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Bletch-UK
Reviews
Ong-bak 3 (2010)
70 mins in before real fight is 'Bak'
**Slight spoilers**
After a few scrapes here and there throughout the course of the film, my little one tugged at me saying "When do we get to see Tony Jaa fight?". If I'd known, I would have replied "about the 70 minute mark" but never mind. by that time he (my son) had been beaten senseless my boredom and was fast asleep by my side. Shame really as he missed a half decent fight by the crow man (watch Born to fight for a real idea of what Dan Chupong is capable of) and then the final fight between Jaa & crow man's followers which is somewhat cut in half & ruined by the fact that it's just a flashforward sequence that gets reversed.
Overall. Worst fight movie I've seen in ages.
Witches of the Caribbean (2005)
The usual DeCoteau tripe
The Bad News. The scene at the beginning showing a hunk in boxer briefs climbing out of a swimming pool and wondering around for 10 minutes (investigating sounds etc) is the only 'DeCoteau moment' you ladies, or guys get in this bore-a-thon.
The Good News. At least the hunk was at the start! The movie's an absolute chore to sit through. I'll skip the plot, see it regurgitated in all the other posts.
Apart from being robbed of any decent 'money' shots (ala Voodoo Academy) DeCoteau makes us sit through several flashbacks to the opening witch hunt scene which are so irritating cut you'll be begging for that epileptic seizure.
You want gore? Too bad. A couple of hearts ripped from fully clothed victims is all you get - and I loved the blood being sprayed on the victims faces - just like the kills in 'Talisman'.
You want more flashbacks? How about Cheesy pop music accompanied by flashbacks to events earlier on in the film.
The only surprise I got from this movie was the role reversal. Usually in DeCoteau's films it's a guy becoming involved in a pact. Here it's a girl.
I Give it 0ne outta ten. Max