Reviews

SPOILER? Just describing the first scene.

I sit down with my ten year old, expecting to be entertained. Heard so much about this movie, it's this generation's Star Wars, right? First scene, a tragic heart-jerker that kills off the kid's mother. What the -- who asked for this? I hold my kid's hand and we plunge on. Then a bunch of running around and dumb violence. About the time somebody for some reason (who claims HIS father had been killed, AND his grandfather) takes a big hammer and smashes someone's head so "blood" can trickle down into this reservoir, my kid and I looked at each other and said Are You Enjoying This At All? Of course not. So we left.

Maybe it gets fun and charming after half an hour. But honestly, this is today's "entertainment"???

I caught an advance screening and found it a heck of a ride and thrilling fun to watch. I thought it really delivered the experience of being close up and inside the most power weather on the planet, and left me with images that I continue to chew over with awe. For a "disaster movie" it felt extremely realistic, and when you see news reports on TV or YouTube you realize this stuff happens again and again, usually in small towns just like the one in the movie, so it's completely real and they didn't really make any of this stuff up. And I really felt for the characters who, just like real people caught by these events, don't want to be in a disaster movie, they just want to get out of there alive. It got pretty emotional by the end.

I don't get all the negative reviews I've been reading, I thought it was really good and delivered a great night out. What do people want, stupid Sharknado? Whatever, I had a good time watching it. And I'm glad I caught it on a big screen instead of renting it later. Seeing it big and overwhelming is the way to go!

Yes, a cinematic triumph. We can do anything now. The apes are photoreal and expressive, and they show sheer genius of the movie makers.

But I have to fly in the face of all the folks trumpeting how this is a classic, it's breathtaking filmmaking that transcends typical blockbusters and on and on. The story is concocted by filmmakers eager to set up a big violent battle because it'll be SO COOL and audiences want it. But it makes so little sense and is so implausible I was literally laughing in the theater (the only humor in this film is unintentional; you're supposed to only be awed, angered and upset.)

I mean honestly, five people are given three days to resurrect a dam that's been sitting there for ten years, without equipment, support, or as far as I can make out, even a voltmeter. It's taken a whole crew of street maintenance guys two months just to put in a traffic light in my neighborhood (and they've got power tools and can order spare parts from Grainger), but we expect these five (apparently only one who has ever seen a dam before) can pull something like this off in three days. And of course that dam's right in monkey harm way, prompting the battles. They couldn't find some other way to make power in San Francisco? Distill methanol from all the biomass, or use a wind turbine -- the Bay Area's brimming with wind turbines, they're on every hill -- or solar panels? No, it HAS to be the monkey dam, because otherwise there'd be no basis for monkey battles. And why do they supposedly need electricity? Because they have to power their radio to see if anyone else is around on the planet. Couldn't they plug it in to one of the cars they're driving around all over the place? How much power does a radio take? Obviously, at least a dam's worth. I'm sorry, I'm sitting there asked to believe such ridiculous things because everyone says it in such somber, menacing tones, but it's obviously all concocted just to force a big epic ape battle. And frankly, after Transformers and X Men and all the rest of the summer bash, we REALLY need another pointless epic battle.

It'll make a ton of money because people really like going to see things get destroyed, and they'll have fun watching apes set up as sympathetic heroes so they can get gunned down. And pseudo-intellectuals will treat it like great art because the monkeys were all so GOOD and humans are so BAD. Bah. It's like playing with toy soldiers, and as uplifting.

Enjoy!

It's technically proficient, has a lot of interesting ideas, is a smart film with occasional humor that delivers in many areas. Very good...and yet...

I staggered out of the theater feeling like I'd been run over by a train. If this is entertainment, then I have to find something else to do with my time. Extremely dark, even though it wasn't gratuitous. Is this the signature of today's movies, that I feel worse coming out than when I went in?

Cruise gives a superb performance, with a wide range of emotions. From the first scenes, we're with him, a smart and witty guy thrust into horrible situations that are over his head. But Emily Blunt is resoundingly one-note. She's great at anger, determination, scorn. She's driven. But she's not magnetic. If she'd shown another side for even a few frames, I would have sensed some depth, would have found her interesting. As is, she was as intriguing as one of their battle suits, moving around a lot and killing everything in sight but basically just hardware.

Gotta say, digital eye candy can be pretty astonishing. Wish I could look at the worlds they created all day. Screensaver maybe?

But as for what's going on in front of all this stunning art direction, it's all pretty ridiculous and confusing. Honestly, by the end I just got tired of things smashing and breaking for no real reason, and found myself desperately hoping the thing would just end already. The scenes with Loki were the film's saving grace; while he was around, I found myself interested. But trying to make sense out of all the rest of this slop just made me tired and frustrated. I'd gladly watch about half of it again with the sound off, and I recommend the film highly to the deaf community.

Surprised to see it's so highly rated here. Well, I guess that's what passes for entertainment today.